XP Pediatrician Issues?

Rachel Sonnier · May 2013

This is a cross post from Special Needs. I mostly just lurk here, so I hope its ok that I ask. Has anyone else had any issues with a little one who is scared to death of their ped? The exams always end with her holding him down, or having me hold him down, while he cries and struggles to get free. I can tell that he is very frightened and he has sensory issues, which only exacerbate all of this. In the beginning, as a new mom, I guess I just thought that that's how it was done, but I don't know how comfortable I am with this technique anymore. We see lots of other pediatric professionals who examine him, and no one else has to hold him down and do it against his will. To complicate matters even further, our ped is my MILs best friend. I guess that's why I let it go on this long, but I am starting to be really uncomfortable with it. Should I switch, or is this pretty standard practice for pedis?

TiffanyBerry · May 2013

I have switched dentists because of this approach. I'm not willing to hold DD down unless ridiculously necessary (like, emergency medical care or other urgent reason). I can only imagine that it's made it worse for him, if he's anything like my daughter. (She isn't special needs, but she has things which point to some mild sensory issues and generally is introverted as well.)

thatoneredhead · May 2013

My baby is afraid of the pedi. I have no idea why. He flirts with the MA who stabs him with needles, but his ridiculously sweet pedi? Really uneasy.

I draw blood so that requires holding down screaming kids almost every time. Some of the ladies I work with dont mind what they call the "bear hug" and warn the parents there might be bruises. I think thats a little extreme and Im not willing to do that. If the kid was deathly sick? Absolutely. But for most routine stuff, mom crosses her leg over the kid and a coworker holds the arm while they scream. It's just a part of it.

Is the pedi examining him more thoroughly than the others? Maybe they would have to hold him if they were doing more? I do think that if your pedi is disregarding his sensory issues it's time for a new one, MIL's bestie or not.

pitterpatter129 · May 2013

I would switch solely because your pedi is your MIL's friend. Even with HIPPA laws, if anything big ever came up that you wanted private, it might slip out in conversation on accident. And that just seems like a weird situation to me. It definitely sounds like she and your LO don't mesh well, so I'd try out someone else.

Jekadah · May 2013

I have never had to hold my daughter down for any reason. My Pediatrician is great she always does everything while I hold my daughter on my lap she will even do things like shots while babies are breastfeeding and most of the time they don't even notice. I have never had to even put my daughter on the table unless I just want to, she basically bends over backwards (quite literally) to do everything while my daughter is in my arms. This is something I really appreciate but never requested it is just standard at her office. My daughter loves going to the Doctors and I contribute that to the way our Pedi handles things. I would look in to finding a new doctor it is not necessary to put a baby through all of that.

danigirl7181 · May 2013

DD likes her pedi. The last time she had shots (which the nurse does) around 18 months I had to help hold her down, but she gets over it pretty quickly. She doesn't mind the nurse either. But I when I was little I was strapped down to the dentists chair and to this day I get super anxious very time I have to go to the dentist. They have to give me Novocaine to calm me down, even for simple procedures. I would find a new pedi.

boogerbearoriginal · May 2013

My kid HATES 'strangers' touching him, so the Dr is a fun time. While I have to usually hold LO, it's not like he;s pinned down on the table, but sitting on my lap so I can reassure him and help him stay still. Of course the second the Dr goes to leave the pissed off baby immediately turns charming and smiles at him and says "Bye!"

IMO you have to trust your instincts. If it feels wrong to you, then switch.

When they are little the Dr has to check their hips/etc so I would have to lay LO down and he cried sometimes about it but it never felt traumatic, if that makes sense.

notreallyirish · May 2013

DS isn't special needs, but he is afraid of heights. I figured out that he was fine with the nurses, even if they pricked his finger or stuck things in his ears, because he was sitting next to me on a bench. He objected to the doctor largely because he had to go up on the exam table. Last time he stayed down on the bench and it went much better. He was low and close to me. The doctor was fine with accommodating him.

If I were you I would most likely switch because your LO probably has negative associations with that doctor that will be hard to break, but you could try one more time if you'd prefer. I'd think about any accommodations or changes that might help your LO and either see if your current pedi is willing to change or start over with a new pedi.

Danni7535 · May 2013

You said he doesn't react negatively to other examiners, so I would switch doctors. Don't worry about your MIL. Put your boy's needs first. MIL will get over it.

cpmich · May 2013

Danni7535:
You said he doesn't react negatively to other examiners, so I would switch doctors. Don't worry about your MIL. Put your boy's needs first. MIL will get over it.

This.

gnomemom · May 2013

I'm mobile, so I can't see how old your LO is. A little apprehension about strangers being too close is normal. Still, I don't understand why your pedi would need to hold your LO down. Our pedi does everything he needs to do while we hold DS.

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