MIL's dire warnings

FrenchFry13 · May 2013

We told my MIL about the pregnancy on Wednesday. All the way home from dinner, she gave us all these dire warnings. We laughed a little, and she became very upset! Then she just called me to tell me that she forgot a few, and it's very important that I pay attention and not do any of these things!! These warnings and consequences are so serious that I thought I'd share with the rest of y'all.

Enjoy. Wink

1. Stop painting in the house right now. Even DH must not paint. NO PAINTING. No...it's not the fumes or chemicals, but that painting anywhere near the baby will cause horrible birth marks.

2. No hammering nails anywhere in the house. You'll scare the baby away.

3. No scissors or knives in bed! You'll make the baby think you're going to hurt it, and he'll be scared right out of you. (Now, where else am I going to keep my steak knives, Mom??)

4. No heavy housework. You'll be too tired, and make the baby tired. (Oh, honestly, I'm throwing up too much to do housework, so I got this one covered already. The dishes are either just not gettin' done, or DH does them. lol)

5. No mowing the lawn. (Don't know why. She was raising her voice a bit at this point, and I can barely walk right now, let alone mow the lawn!)

6. No hanging the laundry. If you raise your arms above your head, it will hurt your stomach, and will strangle the baby.

I love my MIL to death, but sometimes her old-fashioned ways are pretty funny to me. At least this way I know she cares, right? Anyone else getting gloom and doom warnings that make no sense?

notkateanymore · May 2013

Is she by any chance a crazy old Italian lady? LOL

CaityA83 · May 2013

Thankfully, no... But I have heard the old tale that if you raise your hands above your head it will wrap the cord around the baby's neck and strangle it. I think about this everytime I reach up to pull the laundry out of our stacked washer and dryer. Ha!

Hunterloren · May 2013

Both my moms are pretty awesome- M and MIL. But I was told a few by other folks.

Don't lift anything heavier than a milk jug. This will work very well for me since I have a 25lbs toddler who has given up walking forever.

Some random person told me I had no business gaining more than 20lbs for the whole pregnancy.

My aunt was stunned speechless when I told her I had gained 25 lbs by 32 weeks. Thank you. That is all I can say.

I'll probably have a lot more soon.

FrenchFry13 · May 2013

@KateMW: No, she's a crazy old Chinese lady. Wink

The best part is that I KNOW she's holding back because I'm white and won't understand some warnings, bless her heart.

notkateanymore · May 2013

FrenchFry13:
@KateMW: No, she's a crazy old Chinese lady.
The best part is that I KNOW she's holding back because I'm white and won't understand some warnings, bless her heart.

LOL

Hunterloren · May 2013

FrenchFry13:
@KateMW: No, she's a crazy old Chinese lady.
The best part is that I KNOW she's holding back because I'm white and won't understand some warnings, bless her heart.

Oh my. Dh's grandma was Korean. I wish I could have heard what she had to say. His mom isn't like that.

thetheisens · May 2013

Just wait until you have a newborn, then there's a whole new set of crazy old wives tales. My MIL drives me crazy with them.

hilaryrose1488 · May 2013

My grandmother is 88 and Jewish from Poland. Oh boy. NEVER step over a pregnant woman, the baby won't grow. And if you do step over you must step back over the other way to reverse it! This also goes for any person still growing and probably done growing.

Bdoeshair06 · May 2013

My grandmother was completely freaked out by my belly band. She was all worried that I was going to restrict the growth of my baby..my mom and I had to explain them to her.

Apparently when she was young she knew someone who had worn a girdle most of her pregnancy and her baby was born with "issues." You never know what crazy things people will come up with!

Unknown · May 2013

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amberpro · May 2013

I've heard the hands over head thing, but the rest are news to me, lol!

::off to move my knives back to the kitchen::

phoenixdragon · May 2013

FrenchFry13:
@KateMW: No, she's a crazy old Chinese lady.

I was gonna ask if she was. The scissors comment gives it away. Our nanny/housekeeper is, too, and asked us this week if it was okay to move the furniture to clean. What?! I guess traditionally you should not rearrange furniture before the baby is born. I can't imagine the dust bunnies we would have if she wasn't flexible on some of the old ways . . . Purely because we're not Chinese!

MurMom1028 · May 2013

Number 3 made me laugh. Why would you even need to warn someone not to put sharp objects in their bed! Thanks for sharing!

adubbs83 · May 2013

Oh dear...this sounds like my mil's advice!!!she doesn't know yet but I can already imagine the things she will tell me! She's one of those people who see on tv/read about/someone told her something so it MUST be true people. After my sister had a csection a few months ago she told me all about how terrible it was for her..30plus years ago..and how you had to get out/into bed on all fours and had to hold a pillow on your belly so get her a pillow and couldn't hold the baby bla bla bla bla and I'm like lady, it's 2013 and I'm sure it's slightly different these days. I mean, she cares and means well and all but come on, just say congratulations!!

kaiecee · May 2013

kallah5772:
My grandmother is 88 and Jewish from Poland. Oh boy. NEVER step over a pregnant woman, the baby won't grow. And if you do step over you must step back over the other way to reverse it! This also goes for any person still growing and probably done growing.

I've heard of this one when I was a kid lol so funny

Skor1nic · May 2013

haha loved this also! i wish i had some interesting warnings!

lp0 · May 2013

KateMW:
Is she by any chance a crazy old Italian lady? LOL

Oh so you've met my mom lol

My mom is so set on if I comment that some kind of food looks good that I have to have it. Otherwise if I don't and I touch a spot on my body then the baby will get a birthmark there. She's actually gets mad if I touch my face lol.

She also keeps trying to get me to buy giant underwear that come up under my boobs. Because smaller underwear that falls under my bellybutton will not support the muscles in my stomach and they will stretch out and never go back. I rubbed that one in after I had DS but she's already started on this one because it's different now because this is my second now.

esf60 · May 2013

these are hilarious. No one's laid their infinite wisdom upon me yet, but I have a lot of old, Jewish, superstitious relatives... I'm sure it's coming.

culechick · May 2013

lol sounds like my mother, who is mexican. you should always wear a safety pin, everyday! also, wear red underwear when there is an eclipse to protect the baby!

lilypienmessimy · May 2013

These are hilarious. I've heard the no stepping over someone thing a million times growing up and for some stupid reason I believe it, so no one can step over me without stepping back the way they came..I won't grow anymore!! Haha! I'm Croatian and there a million superstitions. My mom talked to me about the birth mark thing too, but ours is just an itch somewhere, don't itch it cause your baby will have a birthmark there. My aunt freaked out on her daughter because she had a baby girl with a birthmark on her cheek and she said she never listened when she told her not to itch. Crazy! Another one, the first trimester, your not supposed to work out all..it's a crucial time for your baby and I did crazy workouts the first time I was pregnant and had a loss, so literally all I'm doing is walking. My family is all over me about not working out, cause look what happened last time. Last one, that's insane. My sister was pregnant with twins and my aunt said she must be having boys because she didn't look as good as she used to, her face kinda got ugly. Yup. This happened. Apparently, you glow and look amazing if your having a girl, but if it's a boy, you don't look like yourself and your face changes. Well, she had a boy and a girl. I'm sure when my aunts find out I'm pregnant I'll hear a lot more, luckily my mom only has a few she believe in!

lp0 · May 2013

MBMO2:
These are hilarious. I've heard the no stepping over someone thing a million times growing up and for some stupid reason I believe it, so no one can step over me without stepping back the way they came..I won't grow anymore!! Haha! I'm Croatian and there a million superstitions. My mom talked to me about the birth mark thing too, but ours is just an itch somewhere, don't itch it cause your baby will have a birthmark there. My aunt freaked out on her daughter because she had a baby girl with a birthmark on her cheek and she said she never listened when she told her not to itch. Crazy! Another one, the first trimester, your not supposed to work out all..it's a crucial time for your baby and I did crazy workouts the first time I was pregnant and had a loss, so literally all I'm doing is walking. My family is all over me about not working out, cause look what happened last time. Last one, that's insane. My sister was pregnant with twins and my aunt said she must be having boys because she didn't look as good as she used to, her face kinda got ugly. Yup. This happened. Apparently, you glow and look amazing if your having a girl, but if it's a boy, you don't look like yourself and your face changes. Well, she had a boy and a girl. I'm sure when my aunts find out I'm pregnant I'll hear a lot more, luckily my mom only has a few she believe in!

lol those are good. Though I was told the opposite, if you're having a girl you get fat and ugly because girls steal your beauty.

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