Sticky Post--PLEASE Add To

Based on Jade's suggestion below, I quickly went back through old posts and compiled the following.  I will review the whole thing at the end of the week and put together a final version that Salt can make clicky.  Please, please, please add to it.

Reasons for Being OAD

? A family simply feels whole and full with one child.

? Simply never, ever wanted to more than one.

? As an only child you want your child to have what you had growing up (a happy, fulfilled childhood).

? Mother?s medical condition prevents or makes it unsafe to conceive or give birth to another child.

? The age of one or both parents.

? Parents? recognize their own limits, so being one and done makes them better people and parents.

? Child had medical issues at birth resulting in NICU time or significant additional challenges.

? Child has medical issues or other special needs that take a significant amount of time, effort, and love to support.

? Financial reasons.  Enough said.

? Career-driven aspirations need to be balanced with raising a family. 

? Difficult pregnancy or pregnancies.

? To avoid the return of the extreme stress on a person or persons felt during the newborn stage. This includes but is not limited to post-partum depression and exhaustion from lack of sleep.

? To avoid the return of extreme stress on a marriage due to the demands of a newborn.

? Desire for the ability to be fully present in every moment?larger families may be more stressful and have to divide time and love.

Positives of Being OAD

? The general ease of life.

? Not having to allocate resources (money, time, patience, love, etc.) between siblings.

? Bedtime is easier.

? Eating out is a quieter and easier affair.

? Vacations are possible and cheaper and less stressful.

? It?s easy to find a sitter most of the time.

? The cost of education.

? Only having to do the diaper and potty training cycle once.

? Able to afford and attend all events.

? Never being outnumbered, even when one spouse/partner is away.

? No sibling fight refereeing.

? Reclaiming your body more easily and sooner (if ever!).

? Less cleaning.

? Only need one car seat.

? Space?you only need one bedroom and everything that goes into it.

? Space?you can sell/pass on all the baby gear right away.

Talking Points For Those Who Can?t MYOB

? I think this concept of having kids in order to have someone to take care of you is one of the most selfish reasons to have kids.  It never crossed my mind that it would fall to DS to take care of me. (responding to ?who will take care of you when you?re old??)

? ?You need to understand that everyone has a different situation that should be respected.?

? (Snarky response) "When people ask me "is she your only child?" I look them right in the eye & reply with a straight face, "No, she is a triplet and we only travel with 1 child at a time."
I walk away with a HUGE smile on my face and leave the person that asked the dumb question in completely puzzled state. "

? ?I have started being very honest about it, and I don't care if it makes people uncomfortable. If someone (an acquaintance or coworker, at that!) decides they want to wade into those waters, than it isn't my fault if they feel bad when I tell them that I wanted a second child, but won't be blessed to have another.?

? ?Usually I laugh it off or evade but unlike when we were first in the position of one and done I don't hesitate to lay it out there, yeah we wanted to have another but can't.?

? "This year all three of us are travelling to Europe to take in some sights.  So what are your travel plans looking like?  Oh, you guys aren't going anywhere?  Too expensive?  Travelling as a family of seven is a logistical nightmare?  Yeah, that sucks."

Great Articles

First chapter from a research-heavy book.

Somewhat snarky article from one mom on how to respond to those who tell you to have another.

Article written by an only on the benefits she experienced.

Funny article called, ?Eight Things Never to Say to a Mom of an Only Child?

Well-written article from an only child who talks about her benefits and touches a bit on the research.