Single Parents
Custody for a SAHM
My husband and I lost our home to Sandy then I lost my job. It's a long story but he blames me for his hatred of NJ we lived in VA Beach for 7 years and moved to be closer to my family after the birth of our son
He has been verbally abusive for over 4 years and now he does it in front of our 18 month old. I calmly tell him its not the time to talk in front of our son. He just tells to F off. I usually pick the baby up and leave.
Sorry for rambling but until I go back to teach in September I have no income of my own to rent an apt. I do work part time but I fear what happens when my son who has never been in daycare is no longer seeing Daddy or Mommy from 7 4. Also I think until I find a job as a teacher daycare is a luxury.
My husband says he will support us but is it better to file when I am employed? I will have more control and I want full custody.
Not sure if waiting 4 months is just putting it off or if I should speak with a lawyer to get my ducks in a row now .
Sorry for rambling I am heartsick
He has been verbally abusive for over 4 years and now he does it in front of our 18 month old. I calmly tell him its not the time to talk in front of our son. He just tells to F off. I usually pick the baby up and leave.
Sorry for rambling but until I go back to teach in September I have no income of my own to rent an apt. I do work part time but I fear what happens when my son who has never been in daycare is no longer seeing Daddy or Mommy from 7 4. Also I think until I find a job as a teacher daycare is a luxury.
My husband says he will support us but is it better to file when I am employed? I will have more control and I want full custody.
Not sure if waiting 4 months is just putting it off or if I should speak with a lawyer to get my ducks in a row now .
Sorry for rambling I am heartsick
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Re: Custody for a SAHM
He is physically abusive too and plans to live over 8 hrs away. He has no idea how to care for our son since he sleeps until 2 most weekends and I doubt a judge would laugh at me but thanks for the sweet thoughts
I went to court tons of times with XH because of the physical, verbal, and spiritual abuse I was suffering. All I got was a protective order for a few months because XH didn't show up to court and I didn't have any records of going to the hospital or calling the police.
My advice to you: Call the police if he's scaring you. If you feel even a little bit threatened call and that will be documented so if you do go to court, they have a record of that. If he lays hands on you, go to the hospital. Even if it's just a scratch. He won't be able to see the hospital records but when the time comes, it will help SO much.
Good luck.
I agree with previous posters. I dont mean to upset you but if he has been abusive for 4 years, the first thing the judge is going to ask is what has happened right now that has caused it to be an unsuitable environment for your son. Sole custody is a difficult road to win, especially if the spouse wants joint. Full custody generally involves guardian ad litems, attorney ad litems, home study, and all other sorts of professionals that make that determination. Its definitely a hard burden to prove.
I don't know how the family courts are in VA so I can't tell you if it is better to file before or after job. If you were in TX, I would tell you to get a job asap.
First of all, I'm so sorry that you're going through this!!
Find a lawyer who will give you a free consultation so that you know what your options are-- you may be able to file a temporary support order when you file for divorce so that he has to take care of you & your son. I filed for Pendente Lite, which says that my husband has to continue paying all of the household bills that he always has, until the divorce is final. This was put in place so that he couldn't take off with his entire paycheck and leave us with nothing. (I consider myself a SAHM, but I work as a consultant two days a week.)
As for custody, I don't have any experience with attempting to get sole custody, but if your husband plans on moving 8 hours away, I believe he'll forfeit much of his time with his son-- He'd still have visitation, but not as often.
I'm sure you H makes a horrible husband but that has no bearing on his parental capabilities.