2 year old ring bearer in wedding

Bmac11 · May 2013

I am totally stressed about this and wondering if anyone has any experience/suggestions. My DS is the ring bearer in my SIL's wedding in about 3 weeks. We have talked about it many times, even watched videos of other little boys walking down the aisle. My SIL has voiced many times how she is really counting on him and how he better do a good job. However, he is very shy and easily overwhelmed, and I am sure he is not going to walk down the aisle. Both DH and I are in the wedding and will already be down there, but I am not even sure that seeing us at the end will help. He is going to walk with two little flower girls but he doesn't know them well. Ugh!! Totally stressing and not sure what to do.

memali26 · May 2013

DD1 was a flower girl twice. First time at just over 20 months, and she was great. Practically danced down the aisle, all cuteness and smiles. The second time she was 2.5yo and freaked out and started sobbing, and my MIL had to carry her down the aisle.

So honestly, my biggest advice is to ask your SIL to chill and realize he's 2 and unpredictable. He could be just fine, he could panic, there is just no way to know until you are in the moment. The more pressure he feels, the harder on him it will be. At the very least, I would make sure he doesn't hear SIL saying anything that sounds remotely like it would pressure him.

Trick we used to get DD1 down the aisle the first time - her grandpa was standing at the front as a groomsman and I was sitting at the end of a row where she could see me. My sister was at the back with her and when it was time for DD1 to walk, my sister told her papa had candy and mommy had fruit snacks and she needed to walk down the aisle to get to her treats.

newbeg826 · May 2013

I don't have a lot of advice but I am in a similar situation.

My almost 3 year DD is a flower girl in my cousins upcoming wedding. She is shy and doesn't do well in new situations. I am not 100 sure she will walk.

I am not in the wedding, so my plan is to have my DH stay in the back with her and sit up front. We plan on telling her she will get a treat if she walks up.

The bride is a bit of a bridezilla, so I get how much a bride thinks everything has to go perfectly. I kept telling myself that it will go as it will and I can't stress about it too much.

rosesandpeonies · May 2013

my 2 and 3 year old were both flower girls. They did great and they are both pretty shy. It helps if someone walks down with them. the maid of honor actually walked with the girls. I would personally see if you or your husband or someone else can walk with him that he knows. I was stressed too but it worked out. I couldn't believe it.

mommy0411 · May 2013

Is there any way he can walk with you down the aisle? My special needs 2 year old is ring bearer in my brothers wedding in 4 weeks. I am matron of honor so he is going to walk down the aisle holding my hand and then my husbands sister is going to take him to the back for the duration of the ceremony. I am more worried about getting him to wear his tux with all his sensory issues.

tracy41 · May 2013

If your SIL wants perfection she should probably leave kids out of the wedding. My niece was 3 when she was my flower girl and her mom was stressing out she wouldn't walk. Her mom was my maid of honor anyway so I had them walk down the aisle together. She was a cutie pie! During the ceremony she sat down in the grass and starting making a giant circle of flower petals around herself. Made for some adorable pictures. But if the bride is being a little bridezilla about the wedding there might be a problem.

danigirl7181 · May 2013

DD was the flower girl in our wedding. As you can see from my siggy picture she cried, but everyone thought it was the cutest thing. When she saw daddy stand at the front she went right to him. He had gummy life savers in his pocket for her too. During the ceremony she passed out cheerios to people, including the pastor, lol.

Tell your SIL that she is being unreasonable to think he will walk perfectly, maybe he will maybe he wont. Introduce him to the flower girls at the rehearsal dinner and let him play with them, if he gets to know them maybe it will be easier. And there's always bribery, lol.

lawry13 · May 2013

Your SIL needs to go with the flow. My nephew was two months shy of 4 when he was ring bearer in our wedding. Didn't want to be in most of the pictures and wouldn't walk down without his mom (a bridesmaid). When he got to the end of the aisle he saw my mom and immediately sat down with her. I decided to let it go when he wouldn't pose for pre-wedding pictures.

katlizabeth · May 2013

Ds was a ring bearer at 2.5 and is also extremely shy and easily overwhelmed. Dh wasn't in the wedding party, so he walked ds up. I warned the bride and groom before we accepted for him that he would need to walked up With someone, and the bride was ok with that. He did much better an I thought he would.

MMMiller · May 2013

My super shy almost three year old was just the ring bearer in a wedding last week. Thankfully the bride and groom are very relaxed people and were fine with him walking down with me if need be. I left him with the bride and maid of honor and got to the front where I was sitting quickly--before he would have time to think about me going. They always perform better when it's someone other than Mommy asking them to do something. To my absolute amazement he walked right down the aisle (though he didn't look to happy about it and carried the pillow like it was a disease lol). Unfortunately with toddlers it's all in the moment and timing...and in my opinion you don't ask a two year old to be in your wedding and then ask for perfection.

Bmac11 · May 2013

Thank you so much everyone. It is nice to know I am not alone. I am just going to have to accept that what will be, will be. I just hope that everyone else remembers that he is only 2 years old.

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