Send her to school or hold her back???

sunflwr2 · May 2013

I know this is a very personal decision, but I'm looking for some thoughts. Dd will be 2 September 8th. The cut off here for school is October 1st. I'm looking into two year old programs to send her to maybe a couple hours twice a week (she's home with me now). But it had me thinking about pre school, kindergarten, etc. I want to hold her back so she's one of the oldest in her class. But so many people are telling us to send her. Because the cut off is October 1st she would be a full year younger then her classmates. If her bday was in the summer i would send her but i feel like being so close to the cut off and that the school year starts before her bdAy changes things. She is so so so verbal and I can literally have a conversation with her. But on the other hand she's wimpy in other aspects. Like for example she freaked out the other day when my husband was using packing tape. The loud noise of the tape pulling scared her to death! Haha! So I'm really more concerned with how she would do socially being so much younger not just at a young age but even as she's older. My thought is if I hold her back and she's bored there are always things to do to keep her mind busy in school but sending her and then holding her back I feel might be kind of a negative image for her.

I'm sure I'm just over thinking this but I don't have any other kids so I was just looking for some other thoughts.

rlyttle · May 2013

DS will be turning 6 going into kindergarten. We have decided that it can only help him to be a little older when going to school. I think this is especially true for boys, but I would do the same thing with a girl. I personally wouldn't have liked it if I was one of the youngest kids on my class. I enjoyed being one of the older ones. It's a personal decision that obviously doesn't have to be made today.

AimeeL85 · May 2013

I'm not sure if what you're trying to decide is whether to put her in preschool now or not, or whether to have her be one of the oldest/youngest when it comes time for Kindergarten.

If you think preschool in general would be a fun thing for her now, I would say to send her and don't worry about the age thing. Some kids have to be the oldest and some kids have to be the youngest, and if she's one of the younger ones she'll learn from the older ones. We are sending my 2 year old starting this fall, 2 days per week for 2.5 hours. While I don't think they necessarily need to go at this age, I think it's fun for them and is so few hours that it's more like playdates than school.

Brewtowngrl · May 2013

fredalina:
Personally I think it's ridiculous to make this decision with a 2 year old. SO MUCH changes between 2 and 5. Social, maturity, academics, personality. Proceed as though she will go to school on time and evaluate when she's 5.

This. Way too much changes over the next few years.

mommyton&e · May 2013

I think it also depends on the child. My son is in daycare center. When he is one of the youngest kids in the room he thrives. His behavior is good, for his age. He listens and follows direction fairly well. However as they shift kids and winds up being one of the oldest, I think he gets bad. We get more reports from teachers about how he doesn't listen as well, doesn't follow directions, and wants to do his own thing. They move him up and he is back to good reports and good behavior.

TriciaandSean · May 2013

My son also has an early September birthday and the schools here cut off September 30th. We have decided to wait and send him to school when he's closer to 6.

There was a 60 minutes episode awhile back about how keepng them back a year usually makes them a leader instead of a follower and how even if they are "ready" academically, their maturity level is where the problems usually rise. I have a lot of friends who teach and they can always point out the younger kids in their class.

BelhurstBride · May 2013

fredalina:
Personally I think it's ridiculous to make this decision with a 2 year old. SO MUCH changes between 2 and 5. Social, maturity, academics, personality. Proceed as though she will go to school on time and evaluate when she's 5.

I was going to say the same thing.

Send her to preschool now. When she's closer to 5 meet with her teachers and see if they think she's ready to enroll in kindergarten.

memali26 · May 2013

Brewtowngrl:
fredalina:
Personally I think it's ridiculous to make this decision with a 2 year old. SO MUCH changes between 2 and 5. Social, maturity, academics, personality. Proceed as though she will go to school on time and evaluate when she's 5.
This. Way too much changes over the next few years.

Completely agree with this. In general, I wouldn't recommend holding a child back just because of when their birthday is. Wait and see how ready she is closer to 5.

Kim&Doug · May 2013

My middle daughter's bday is 8/17 and she started K on time. She is the youngest in her class but only by a few days in some cases. She was excited to start K, but she probably wouldn't have noticed if she was in Pre-K. But I do think she might have been bored in Pre-K. She has always been hyper and impulsive so we've just reigned that in a bit at school, with daily green tickets from the teacher as positive reinforcement. She's exactly where she needs to be academically and behaviorally. I personally like to be ahead of the game. I was always jealous of my high school boyfriend and another high school friend who were a year or more younger than me but in the same year of school. To me, it's a head start at life. But I understand some might not be ready, and have also seen the 60 Minutes show where they showed the benefits of holding kids back.

sschwege · May 2013

That's so tough! Our cut-off is September 1st, DD was born September 7th, so the decision was made for us. She will be the oldest in her class. But I think if we had to make the choice we would have chosen to wait another year. I would rather my child be the oldest than the youngest. I think it will make standing up to peer pressure easier, I like that she will be the first to get her driver's license so we will have ultimate control, another year to save for college, etc. Plus I just think she has her whole life to go to school/work, another year being home with me will be nice.

Want a personalized experience?

Send her to school or hold her back???

Re: Send her to school or hold her back???

Choose Another Board

Search Boards