Husband going on business trip.....

SombodiesWife · May 2013

Would like to get everyone's opinion as to whether or not I'm over reacting.....

I'm 36 weeks pregnant, in a week in a half my husband is going on a business trip, a 4 hour car ride from our city, in a remote area, that does not always have full cell reception.

My upset here is, I had my daughter at 37 1/2 weeks. I know every pregnancy and birth is different and I may not deliver at the same time as my previous pregnancy, however my OB has already said he thinks I will deliver early. My husband does not think his business trip is any call for concern and he'll be close enough. His lack of concern is making me angry, and I feel he has no business ( no pun intended) going any where while I'm this far along in the pregnancy. I've tried explaining my feelings on the situation and all he keeps saying is your not going to deliver in 10 days and down playing my concern. Am I over reacting here or is he being an a$$?

Thanks and looking forward to your replies.

Jasmineeelizabeth · May 2013

How long is the trip?

SombodiesWife · May 2013

3 days.

Lolalipsy · May 2013

Is there not a landline you could contact him on, or could he not call you periodically from a landline? This would ease any worries I had.

Personally I wouldn't be too concerned if he's not away that long and so long as I could reach him by a landline. I do understand how anxious it's making you feel but so many women and their husbands have had to go on business trips later than 36 weeks. Many of which involved flying to different states.

JCWhitey · May 2013

How many days? Or is it just a one day thing?

If it's just a one day thing then, IMO, you are overreacting a little bit. But if it's several days I can see your concern.

rmcseattle · May 2013

My DH travels Monday-Friday. We live in Seattle, he is in Orlando this week and next. He's planning on traveling up until my due date on May 30. I have two friends to be on call...I'm a FTM and not worried at all. A four hour drive is nothing:) plus I think it helps my DH keeping a busy schedule so he's not anxious and we both aren't just waiting, twiddling our thumbs.

BC&LM · May 2013

Yeah, I would be a bit upset even if it wasn't really warranted. Actually, I would be more worried about my husband being hurt while traveling than being away for a couple days because I am a bit paranoid! However, if it's something important to his job, there is not much you can do about it.

[Deleted User] · May 2013

I'd just relax. It wouldn't bother me but I'm pretty laid back on the subject. My fianc? will get there when he gets there.

laurakaz13 · May 2013

I wouldn't be worried at all and I do think you're overreacting. The hotel he is staying at has a landline. If you need to contact him, you can contact him there.

My DH is a pilot in the military, and was off on a training mission in a different state right up until my due date. I guess I'm a tad laid back about this stuff too though.

Soleil3 · May 2013

You are overreacting. It's only 3 days, and the likelyhood of having a less than 4 hour labor is slim. It's not like he's flying to china.

PrimRoseMama · May 2013

I would not be upset. I think your are over reacting. My husband travels regularly. It's part of his job and a fact of life for us. Is it difficult? Yes, but 3 days is nothing. He can't put his working life on hold because you might go into labor.

mben1119 · May 2013

I think you're overreacting. Its a 3 day trip, and he's only 4 hours away by car.

mittensonkittens · May 2013

I wouldn't be comfortable with it in my situation. I don't want DH traveling past 36 weeks. My first labor was 17 hours, but my second was 4 hours. And now we have 2 LOs and no family within 1000 miles. My network of friends has also gotten smaller in the last year as 2 families moved away. I don't want to deliver this baby in a bathtub with my kids watching, I need DH here. He wanted to take a business trip when I'm 37 and a half weeks, but I said no. He can do the trip when the baby is a month old.

BelhurstBride · May 2013

Soleil3:
You are overreacting. It's only 3 days, and the likelyhood of having a less than 4 hour labor is slim. It's not like he's flying to china.

I was going to say the same thing. It really wouldn't even dawn on me to be concerned about it.

I'm actually thinking of sending DH and DD on our annual camping trip even though I don't feel comfortable going. It's 3-3.5 hours away and is actually scheduled during the week of my due date.

dontgiveupnomatterwhat · May 2013

I don't think you're overreacting. I am not used to my husband going on trips though, so for me, I would be worried and concerned...but I'm a FTM, and would be upset if I went into labor and he wasn't here.
On the bright side, he doesn't seem to be going far away, as you stated he said "he will be close enough". So I am sure that if something happened, he would leave and come straight to you.
Don't hold a grudge against him for having to work, but your concerned emotions are valid, IMO. Not everyone can be chilled out and relaxed about their spouse traveling when they aren't used to it.

mittensonkittens · May 2013

ms.mittens:
I wouldn't be comfortable with it in my situation. I don't want DH traveling past 36 weeks. My first labor was 17 hours, but my second was 4 hours. And now we have 2 LOs and no family within 1000 miles. My network of friends has also gotten smaller in the last year as 2 families moved away. I don't want to deliver this baby in a bathtub with my kids watching, I need DH here. He wanted to take a business trip when I'm 37 and a half weeks, but I said no. He can do the trip when the baby is a month old.

To add to my previous response, 2nd babies often come faster than the first. My labor was 4 hours, but I didn't know at the time it would be so fast. Contractions went from 15 minutes apart to 2 minutes apart. We barely made it to the hospital in time. It was the middle of the night and we had to get someone to take DS1. After that experience, I think you are completely justified in being worried about your DH being 4 hours away. If his trip can be moved, move it.

ScarletOflaherty · May 2013

Agreed with PP's, he can't put his work life on hold from 37 to 41 weeks, life goes on. Have him leave you the phone numbers of the business/hotels he will be at, and it won't matter if his cell works or not.

notquiteblushing · May 2013

Whether you're overreacting is neither here nor there, you are upset, so what can we do about this?

Can you explain why your doctor thinks you're going to deliver early? Are you having any internals done? When is your next appointment? Can you bring your H with you?

Can you guys set up a communication system? My H travels for work and it does get frustrating when he doesn't respond to calls and texts right away. Can you have him call you every four hours to check in? Every three hours? Figure out what's going to make you comfortable and make a plan.

homebird · May 2013

My husband is going to be gone from Monday - Friday of next week for a work conference. I'll be 38 weeks pregnant, and he'll be a 3-4 hour car ride away. It's nbd.

It would be ridiculous of me to expect him to never go anywhere because I *might* go into labor.

homebird · May 2013

Also, your OB has no idea when you're going to deliver and shouldn't be making predictions for you.

all1005 · May 2013

My husband is away right now and will be away again in a couple weeks. He's a 3.5 hour drive away. I had my first at 38 weeks so similar situation. I have no problem with the travel and I'm going with it, worse case he's meeting me at the hospital where he may/or may not come after the baby is born. Sure it would suck but I think the likelihood is pretty slim.

kt012885 · May 2013

Obviously each person feels differently but I would feel the way you do. I'm a ftm and even tho I have a lot of family nearby I wouldn't want dh possibly missing anything. Granted your dh will only be 4 hours away and I'm sure he'd make it if you did go into labor while he was gone but it's just the fact that you are worried about it and he isn't caring the way you want.

I'm no help but I don't think you are overreacting esp since you have given birth early before. If he's going to go regardless, don't stress about it and just deal with it when it comes but I'd ask him to check in with you as you feel comfortable. GL

elle_bee · May 2013

How fast was your first labor? I definitely don't think it's nbd as some PPs said and I don't think you are overreacting bc you will be 37.5 weeks and its a second baby. I don't think the length of the trip is as much of a concern as is how long it would take him to get back if you go into labor. Also don't get what a landline has to do with anything...

My second was about 4 hours and my first was 14.

My DH went to NY last week (we are in LA) and I was annoyed but not overly concerned as I do not have a history of going early at all.

CNYBride05 · May 2013

He's being an a$$. Sorry

barnwife · May 2013

I understand where you are coming from. I would be nervous, but wouldn't ask him to change the trip. Bear in mind though, that my labor with A. (so my second one) was 2 hours from the moment I knew it was the real thing to holding LO in my arms.

JellyTwoPointO · May 2013

I would be very upset and I think your concerns and your reasons for your concerns are justified. Heck, my husband is in a band to make extra money and he's not booking any gigs in June or July because he wants to be absolutely sure he's as available as possible for me. And his gigs are local!

sware2010 · May 2013

Pretty sure I've heard 7-8 hours as the average length for second labors and of course, it could be much shorter. This means that if you go into labor while he's gone, you have 3-4 hours to both get a hold of hubby AND for him to get on the road. If you have to call his hotel to get in touch with him, how long will it take for him to actually get the message since he's probably not hanging out there all day? Do you have a direct line with him wherever he'll be working? Also, once he knows you're in labor, is he able to leave immediately, or would he have to tie up loose ends first?

Maybe I'm paranoid, but I'd be nervous.

Liz4444 · May 2013

Here's the thing, it's a business trip, does he really have much of a choice? It's not like he's choosing to go away drinking with his buddies. It's 3 days and he's not going that far away, he can make it back easily. If you are nervous, do you have friends or family you could stay with?

Millie1984 · May 2013

Personally, I don't think you are being irrational, and I would also be upset.

Lovehavinggirls · May 2013

I would be nervous and dh will not be traveling past 35 weeks. I had dd at 35 weeks and can't imagine going through it by myself. Dh doesn't travel for work so it's really not an issue for us but we had discussed with dd1 and this time that if he wants to go on a guys weekend over the summer it has to be earlier.
If he doesn't have a choice then I would set up check in times and make sure I had a dr appointment either a day or two before he left.

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