military and blended families

HisChamaoleGirl · May 2013

DH is in the military so SS receives dependent benefits through him.

BM is saying that we need to get our own id card for SS so when he is with us we will have our own. You cant have numerous id cards and even though we explained that to her she doesn't want to give it to DH when he picks up SS for the summer. That's an issue if he needs medical care, but it sounds like she doesn't want to acknowledge that so she can continue to shop on base with his id card.

If your child is in the same situation, when they travel does their dependent id card go with them?

bosoxy · May 2013

We are the opposite. DH's ex wife is married into the military and his kids are covered by Tricare. Now you've got me thinking we should be taking the card when they are with us. Hadn't thought to do that before. But I guess I just figured if they needed to see a doctor, we could get the info at that time.

hindsight's_a_biotch · May 2013

She can't shop on post with his ID card, not at the commissary anyway. I suppose she could be living it up at the PX but their prices suck and the selection is even shittier so meh. But they don't issue two ID's the the same person. It's not a carseat so she's on crack with that one.

Pinky's ID stays with me. I've never sent it with her when she goes to see her father. He doesn't need her ID to get her care. He can show his, just as I can show mine to get care for my 11 year old son who doesn't have an ID and is my husband's dependent, not my exhusband's dependent.

The only time I sent it with her was when it needed to be redone and only because he asked. You don't have to have the old ID to get the new one, which is why I still have one of her old ones because she looked like a WWII refugee. All she needed was a gas mask.

ETA: No one is going to deny coverage without the ID card. If necessary, they'll call tricare and provide them with the child's SSN to confirm they are enrolled in DEERS/Tricare and eligible for care.

hindsight's_a_biotch · May 2013

bosoxy:
We are the opposite. DH's ex wife is married into the military and his kids are covered by Tricare. Now you've got me thinking we should be taking the card when they are with us. Hadn't thought to do that before. But I guess I just figured if they needed to see a doctor, we could get the info at that time.

Do you generally take the kids over the summer? I believe tricare allows or used to allow a temporary changing of either the primary care manager or the tricare region the child is assigned to if they will be away from home for a certain period of time.

If you haven't done that or if you're talking about minor visitations, you'll need to take them to urgent care. Though please check with tricare to make sure this is still the case, they go back and forth on whether or not they will allow urgent care however, if your children are away from their PCM, I can't see why tricare wouldn't let you.

But they may not or probably will not pay if you take them to a regular doctor who isn't their primary unless the kids are enrolled in Tricare Standard.

Basically, you need to know what Tricare region the kids are assigned to and keep their number on hand should something come up. If it's an emergency, just call an ambulance/take them to the ER as needed and Tricare will sort you out. But if it's something less urgent, call Tricare directly and they'll help you figure out how best to handle it.

Either way, the ID card isn't necessary. It may be necessary that you know their sponsor's SSN or that new number they are giving people now instead of their SSN in order to prevent identity theft. Their sponsor, I assume being the ex wife's new husband.

nikit23 · May 2013

My DD is covered by both DH (military) and BD. BD's insurance is primary on her because of the birthday rule. We don't send her ID card with her. She only visits EOWE and a couple weeks in the summer and I figure if it's a big huge deal where she's needing to see a doctor I'll probably be called to be there anyway. In an urgent care type situation I assume that I'd always just be able to give them her information on the back side once BD's insurance settles out. DH has 3 kids and they all have IDs, but BM is deceased so there's no travel issue there.

HisChamaoleGirl · May 2013

hindsight's_a_biotch:
She can't shop on post with his ID card, not at the commissary anyway. I suppose she could be living it up at the PX but their prices suck and the selection is even shittier so meh. But they don't issue two ID's the the same person. It's not a carseat so she's on crack with that one.
Pinky's ID stays with me. I've never sent it with her when she goes to see her father. He doesn't need her ID to get her care. He can show his, just as I can show mine to get care for my 11 year old son who doesn't have an ID and is my husband's dependent, not my exhusband's dependent.
The only time I sent it with her was when it needed to be redone and only because he asked. You don't have to have the old ID to get the new one, which is why I still have one of her old ones because she looked like a WWII refugee. All she needed was a gas mask.
ETA: No one is going to deny coverage without the ID card. If necessary, they'll call tricare and provide them with the child's SSN to confirm they are enrolled in DEERS/Tricare and eligible for care.

She can and she does shop on base because she is overseas and yes it does help with cost in her situation. The other reason I am thinking DH should take it is because it will expire (has his old ets date on it & he has since re enlisted) and he can take SS to get the new one. You did bring up a good point that bringing up his sponsors information will show he is covered so the id card may not be needed for medical treatment. Thanks!

Ilumine · May 2013

*HiS ChAmAoLe GiRL*:
hindsight's_a_biotch:
She can't shop on post with his ID card, not at the commissary anyway. I suppose she could be living it up at the PX but their prices suck and the selection is even shittier so meh. But they don't issue two ID's the the same person. It's not a carseat so she's on crack with that one.
Pinky's ID stays with me. I've never sent it with her when she goes to see her father. He doesn't need her ID to get her care. He can show his, just as I can show mine to get care for my 11 year old son who doesn't have an ID and is my husband's dependent, not my exhusband's dependent.
The only time I sent it with her was when it needed to be redone and only because he asked. You don't have to have the old ID to get the new one, which is why I still have one of her old ones because she looked like a WWII refugee. All she needed was a gas mask.
ETA: No one is going to deny coverage without the ID card. If necessary, they'll call tricare and provide them with the child's SSN to confirm they are enrolled in DEERS/Tricare and eligible for care.
She can and she does shop on base because she is overseas and yes it does help with cost in her situation. The other reason I am thinking DH should take it is because it will expire (has his old ets date on it & he has since re enlisted) and he can take SS to get the new one. You did bring up a good point that bringing up his sponsors information will show he is covered so the id card may not be needed for medical treatment. Thanks!

1) He does not need the I'd card to get care as long as DH shows his ID card at the time care. Most children under 10 don't have I'd cards.

2) explain one more time that if she does not send said ID card for renewal, then DH will not sign the DD 1772-2 she will need for the later renewal. Then what the ** will she do?

3) I don't give an eff if shopping on base makes life easier for her, she should not be *** shopping on base. It's this side of fraud and personally, I would contact Customs to keep a *** eye out for her while SS is with you. If she as much steps into the commissary she needs to go down.

She lost that priveliedge the minute she divorced your DH. And while I understand that she may be shipping for her son too, unless its milk, lunchables and underroos, she shouldn't get a damn thing,

** that ***.

hindsight's_a_biotch · May 2013

Do they really let you use a minor's ID card to shop at the commissary if you aren't supposed to?

I mean, I'll be honest, it's something I've vent about because she's a douchecanoe but it's not something I could be bothered to care about for any longer than it would take the words to fly off my tongue. If she wants a government rate on some rice, let the commissary folks be responsible for catching that. Isn't there enough to worry about that directly affects the kids?

bosoxy · May 2013

hindsight's_a_biotch:
bosoxy:
We are the opposite. DH's ex wife is married into the military and his kids are covered by Tricare. Now you've got me thinking we should be taking the card when they are with us. Hadn't thought to do that before. But I guess I just figured if they needed to see a doctor, we could get the info at that time.
Do you generally take the kids over the summer? I believe tricare allows or used to allow a temporary changing of either the primary care manager or the tricare region the child is assigned to if they will be away from home for a certain period of time.
If you haven't done that or if you're talking about minor visitations, you'll need to take them to urgent care. Though please check with tricare to make sure this is still the case, they go back and forth on whether or not they will allow urgent care however, if your children are away from their PCM, I can't see why tricare wouldn't let you.
But they may not or probably will not pay if you take them to a regular doctor who isn't their primary unless the kids are enrolled in Tricare Standard.
Basically, you need to know what Tricare region the kids are assigned to and keep their number on hand should something come up. If it's an emergency, just call an ambulance/take them to the ER as needed and Tricare will sort you out. But if it's something less urgent, call Tricare directly and they'll help you figure out how best to handle it.
Either way, the ID card isn't necessary. It may be necessary that you know their sponsor's SSN or that new number they are giving people now instead of their SSN in order to prevent identity theft. Their sponsor, I assume being the ex wife's new husband.

They live overseas so their primary is there. We see them in the summer. We would absolutely take them to Urgent Care or ER depending on the issue. I didn't think the ID was necessary which is why I hadn't thought of it before. Thanks for the clarification!

Ilumine · May 2013

bosoxy:
hindsight's_a_biotch:
bosoxy:
We are the opposite. DH's ex wife is married into the military and his kids are covered by Tricare. Now you've got me thinking we should be taking the card when they are with us. Hadn't thought to do that before. But I guess I just figured if they needed to see a doctor, we could get the info at that time.
Do you generally take the kids over the summer? I believe tricare allows or used to allow a temporary changing of either the primary care manager or the tricare region the child is assigned to if they will be away from home for a certain period of time.
If you haven't done that or if you're talking about minor visitations, you'll need to take them to urgent care. Though please check with tricare to make sure this is still the case, they go back and forth on whether or not they will allow urgent care however, if your children are away from their PCM, I can't see why tricare wouldn't let you.
But they may not or probably will not pay if you take them to a regular doctor who isn't their primary unless the kids are enrolled in Tricare Standard.
Basically, you need to know what Tricare region the kids are assigned to and keep their number on hand should something come up. If it's an emergency, just call an ambulance/take them to the ER as needed and Tricare will sort you out. But if it's something less urgent, call Tricare directly and they'll help you figure out how best to handle it.
Either way, the ID card isn't necessary. It may be necessary that you know their sponsor's SSN or that new number they are giving people now instead of their SSN in order to prevent identity theft. Their sponsor, I assume being the ex wife's new husband.
They live overseas so their primary is there. We see them in the summer. We would absolutely take them to Urgent Care or ER depending on the issue. I didn't think the ID was necessary which is why I hadn't thought of it before. Thanks for the clarification!

If they are overseas, the odds of them even having an ID under 10 is less and less. DEERS offices dont want ids for minors out there JIC they get lost. Anyone can use a baby's/young kids id for another older kid...they just grew up (my DD looks NOTHING like her baby picture in her passport).

However, you do need to get the new plan/sponsor number for their care before they come back this summer. NOT to mention, their mother should be contacting TRICARE prior to their summer time with you, letting them know that they are going to be in CONUS and which region.

That does not mean that she changes their regional care or that you are allowed to do any preventative or regular health care, but it does allow easier processing if you do need to bring the kids to a doctor.

Ilumine · May 2013

hindsight's_a_biotch:
Do they really let you use a minor's ID card to shop at the commissary if you aren't supposed to?
I mean, I'll be honest, it's something I've vent about because she's a douchecanoe but it's not something I could be bothered to care about for any longer than it would take the words to fly off my tongue. If she wants a government rate on some rice, let the commissary folks be responsible for catching that. Isn't there enough to worry about that directly affects the kids?

Actually, an agent CAN be designated to shop for a dependent. But said agent needs to have a waiver signed by the individual base commander. AND said agent is NOT allowed to buy for themselves, so if the kid is with his father, the bm has no effing need to even GO on base, let alone SHOP on base.

And in this particular case, this is not a STATE SIDE base, but an overseas base. So SOFA laws supersede the base commander's desires.

In Germany, you cannot even GIVE a commissary purchased item to an European National, even as Gift. Therefore the exchange would stock up on Jiffy and Peter Pan peanut butter during the Christmas season so we could buy the number one American to German gift.

In Korea, its both the Commissary AND the BX that are off limits to everyone. Hell, if you are not command sponsored, you cannot even step foot into the two stores.

The fact is, both the commissary and the exchanges are BENEFITS for the servicemember and their families. Every year they get those lovely letters detailing how our benefits help equalize their base pay to the civilian world.

When you divorce the servicemember, you loose the benefits. And that is something you need to think about when you procreate with a service member. So I have no problem with buying those WIC type items through the commissary - but sure as hell not happy with buying the other sundries that the actual beneficiary is NOT using (like razor blades or adult shampoo or adult aspirin).

Why should my tax dollars subsidize your decision to divorce your ex or get knocked up by some military doofus.

hindsight's_a_biotch · May 2013

Illumine, you know I know all this and you know that in general, I agree. What I don't agree with is being so far up your SO's ex's that you know this and certainly not so far involved that you would bother to do anything about it, particularly when there is already bad blood there.

I don't know nor do I care to know all of that. It only breeds resentment and bad feelings and ups the tension to ridiculous levels. The only reason this is worth exploring is IF there is a high risk this will come back on the service member. And quite frankly, I can't see how it will. She is his ex-wife, not his spouse. If she gets caught, her little will take the heat for it all by her little lonesome.

And bottom line, she doesn't know that's what homegirl is doing anyway. Any efforts to find out if she is are just wasted capital for future disagreements.

Ilumine · May 2013

hindsight's_a_biotch:
Illumine, you know I know all this and you know that in general, I agree. What I don't agree with is being so far up your SO's ex's that you know this and certainly not so far involved that you would bother to do anything about it, particularly when there is already bad blood there.
I don't know nor do I care to know all of that. It only breeds resentment and bad feelings and ups the tension to ridiculous levels. The only reason this is worth exploring is IF there is a high risk this will come back on the service member. And quite frankly, I can't see how it will. She is his ex-wife, not his spouse. If she gets caught, her little will take the heat for it all by her little lonesome.
And bottom line, she doesn't know that's what homegirl is doing anyway. Any efforts to find out if she is are just wasted capital for future disagreements.

HAB, honestly this is not a blended family issue for me. This is a fraud in the military thing for me. I guess it comes from dealing with it both in my professional life and married to DH.

This is my soapbox and I need to deal with it.

hindsight's_a_biotch · May 2013

If it helps, I'd rat my neighbor out for it if I knew she was doing it or at least read her the riot act and likely kill the friendship over it. So I do agree with you on that front.

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