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One and done - thoughtful side of the positives :)

meo34meo34 member
in One & Done: Only child

I know I have posted about some of the more practical and somewhat material side of one and done but thinking about a conversation I had with a one and done friend this weekend ( she is torn).  I thought I would post to see if others had the same outlook as me from a less " practical" view.  So a couple of thoughts....

 In some ways I feel I am more present or in the moment with my son than some of my friends with larger families.  I treasure the moments because I know this is a one time deal for me.  Also I am not too overwhelmed to engage with him and don't have the option to say "go play with your sister/brother" so it puts me in a where I am more actively involved in  playing than just care giving.  Along the same lines I think We have more luxury to be more relaxed/kid-like without being over whelmed with choas.  

 Not saying this is always the case but ageneral observation I have made within my own limited experience. 

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Re: One and done - thoughtful side of the positives :)

  • missymomissymo member
    If I'm being thoughtful about it, I think being OAD makes ME a better parent. That does not mean parents with multiple children are any worse than I...but I know my own limits.

    With more kids I would be frazzled, tired, and as you said, more likely to throw out a "go play with your sibling!" when my child is looking for attention.

    I grew up with two sisters and a brother and I never felt the closeness with my parents that I wanted. They worked full time and had 4 kids! There was no way to give tons of attention to anyone. I won't smother my daughter, but she will always know that she is important to me and that I am always there for a hug if she needs it.

    image
    C is 3 years old

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  • ferris0906ferris0906 member

    imagemissymo:
    If I'm being thoughtful about it, I think being OAD makes ME a better parent. That does not mean parents with multiple children are any worse than I...but I know my own limits. With more kids I would be frazzled, tired, and as you said, more likely to throw out a "go play with your sibling!" when my child is looking for attention. I grew up with two sisters and a brother and I never felt the closeness with my parents that I wanted. They worked full time and had 4 kids! There was no way to give tons of attention to anyone. I won't smother my daughter, but she will always know that she is important to me and that I am always there for a hug if she needs it.

    Wow.  This is an excellent way to put what I was thinking into words.  While I agreed with what the OP said, I could not find the words to thoughtfully and respectfully agree.  

    So, I second this!  

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  • missymomissymo member
    Hey, thanks for seconding that, Ferris! I'm on mobile, but imagine a smiley face inserted here. Lol.

    I forgot to mention that one of the reasons I think being OAD benefits my daughter is my patience level! If I had two kids screaming in my ear, I might blow a fuse. It's so much easier to respond calmly to one and keep my cool. I am really patient with my LO, and I would NOT be that way with the added stress of a second kid.


    image
    C is 3 years old

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  • KL777KL777 member

    Like a PP said, I also know my own limits. Some people can handle more than one child, a husband, me time, friends, a home, working outstide the home (if this applies), etc., but I would not be happy if I had to juggle all that plus another dependent human being.

    Also, like a PP said, some women are cut out for multiple children, and I happily say that I'm not! :-)

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  • lrn327lrn327 member
    Like PPs, I'm not sure I'm cut out for multiple kids.  I always say I would rather just have one and do a really good job at it.  I know that personally, I'd always feel as if I was dropping the ball somewhere.
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  • melissac32@yahoo.commelissac32@yahoo.com member
    I could not have said my thoughts better! I feel exactly the same! 
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