When is it ok

randimarie86 · May 2013

To let them cry it out? LO will be 8 weeks on Saturday. I know that he needs me, so please don't flame me for asking. But I get nothing done during the day. When/If he naps, it's for 30 minutes at the longest, and that might happen twice a day. I have let him cry for up to 10 minutes, and that's only to blow dry my hair or attempt to get stuff done. He only wants to be held, and I feel like he's already spoiled and knows when he cries that I'll pick him up. Will this get better? Am I a bad mom to let him cry sometimes? Don't get me wrong, I would love nothing more than to rock him all day long, but I have things to get done. I'm considering a carrier thing, but I won't be working until September, and I just hate to spend money on that right now.

ETA: his 30 min naps are when I put him down. He could sleep all day in my arms.

ohhashley · May 2013

Get a baby wrap to wear, that way you would keep him with you at all times.
I let DD "fuss" for a bit but when ate full on cries I go fix it, shecusually just dropped her nin or wants a cuddle.

bumpuser5078523 · May 2013

First of all, I want to say I'm not against crying it out when they are older in certain situations.

Your baby is too young to full out cry for too long. Fussing with occasional wails is okay, in my opinion. Baby is probably going through a phase and it will get better.

I would look into making a sling out of some fabric. Super easy and cheap. I think you can make them out of an old sheet.

evertz · May 2013

I agree with PP. I'd get an inexpensive wrap and wear baby so you can get things done and he stays calm.

Angela814 · May 2013

My baby is a lot like yours, except I do usually get one 2 hr long nap in the late afternoon. Sometimes I have to let her cry so I can make a sandwich for lunch or brush my teeth or help DD2 in the bathroom... I really try not to let her cry for more than a few minutes.

mrskumie · May 2013

Your LO is incapable of selfsoothing at this point. "Crying it out" won't work. If you need to put him down for a few minutes to make food/go to the bathroom, that's different, but he shouldn't be left to cry himself to sleep. Most experts agree its not a good idea until 46 months.

And yes, your baby is understanding that if he cries you will pick him up, but it's not manipulative, its how he communicates his need to have you with him. Responding to his cries promptly teaches him to feel secure and happy in his environment because he knows you will always be there for him. A pretty good lesson for the rest of his life, if you ask me!

My LO is seven weeks too, so I totally understand. Do you have a friend or relative who could come by for a little bit, even if its one day a week, so you can get things done?

RussianMommy · May 2013

at 6 months. 8 weeks is really young.

can you swaddle him? if he's crying/fussy, he needs extra comfort. Trust me, you can't spoil a baby. what about swaddling and then putting him in a swing with a sound machine? that puts my baby right to sleep. Just keep finding ways that comfort him.

AtlJuneBride · May 2013

Grace0609:
knitfaced:
It's really not appropriate until around 6 months. I would much rather let my hair air dry then cause permanent emotional damage to my child.

Wow.  I think that's a little extreme. 

Yeah that was unnecessary.
OP, try starting a routine first
Around 8 weeks is a good time for that. I found with my DD that once we got her on a predictable schedule she napped a lot better.

Monsieur_et_Madame_Ha · May 2013

Grace0609:
You know your own kid the best. But, generally self soothing skills do not start until 4-6 months of age, so I personally wouldn't let him really "cry it out" until that age range. Now, I have no problem, personally, with putting baby down and letting him cry for a few minutes while I am doing things. With 3 kids now at home there is really no option. My older kids need things, so I try to make baby comfortable, but then there are times I just have to leave him and walk away for a few minutes. He'll live.

Ditto to all of the above, especially the bolded.

randimarie86 · May 2013

Wow. To those of you who came in on your high horse, appreciate you. I am trying my damnedest to be the best mom I canbe. I'm a FTM and did not know when CIO was appropriate, and came here to ask. I would not prefer to have styled hair over an emotionally stable kid. I'm sorry that you thought that was the purpose of my post. It was only an example. In fact, I think my child has cried maybe twice while I blow dry my hair, and that was only when he was no longer content in his bouncy seat while I was in the middle of it and he cried for a minute or two at the most. Excuse the helll out of me for that.

To the rest of you, thank you very much for your responses!

TexasAggie06 · May 2013

randimarie86:
Wow. To those of you who came in on your high horse, appreciate you. I am trying my damnedest to be the best mom I canbe. I'm a FTM and did not know when CIO was appropriate, and came here to ask. I would not prefer to have styled hair over an emotionally stable kid. I'm sorry that you thought that was the purpose of my post. It was only an example. In fact, I think my child has cried maybe twice while I blow dry my hair, and that was only when he was no longer content in his bouncy seat while I was in the middle of it and he cried for a minute or two at the most. Excuse the helll out of me for that.
To the rest of you, thank you very much for your responses!

I think all of the reasonable people read your post and understood your question.

I appreciate you asking, DH had been inquiring about when to allow DS to cry more before going to pick him up *not that we're intending to do so at this point* and I didn't know the answer.

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