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Interesting BF story

Littlejen22Littlejen22 member
in Blended Families
When we went to Hong Kong two months ago we spent some time with DHs cousin that he never met before. DH did not even know about his uncle until not that long ago and his cousin said it was because they had different mothers they did not talk often.

The cousin is married to his second wife and they have two girls. He has 16yo from his first marriage that he sees several times a week but his son is not brought around his other kids because his ex is not comfortable with it. From what he said it sounds common for the mother to be skeptical of the new family so this does not seem weird to him that he spends two or three evenings a week with his son without the rest of his family. Apparently it was even a huge deal that he sent his second DD to the same international school that his son goes to when she was not accepted at the school her sister goes to. And my fav part is when I asked what he does with his son if he cannot go to his house...they go out for diver and drinks!!! I even just saw on FB that he was recently in Canada with his son and I know he spends summers there with his wife and girls so I guess they make separate trips! So weird.
Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
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Re: Interesting BF story

  • Littlejen22Littlejen22 member
    imageauntie:
    Are they culturally Chinese? Do you think the first wife has more of an upper hand because the first child is a boy? Or is that standard behavior there?
    I remember reading a bio of Ronald Reagan written by one of his spawn who claimed that the great communicator kept his two litters of children from each other. The writer said thatnbsp;he and Nancy did not share the existence of Ron's kids from his first marriage with the ones born in that marriage for years. Creeps me out.


    They are Chinese and I honestly do not know how it would be if the oldest was a girl but I am sure having a boy gives her somewhat an upper hand. Luckily for me my DH was raised in England and is pretty American by this point and DD is totally his little girl.

    I have no idea if the kids have ever met but just don't get to spend time together. I do know that his 12yo DD asks questions about her brother but more in a sense of how did he like such and such. I also would think that his son would push back but I do not know if culturally he just does not question it or if he is fine with it because he is his fathers buddy or if he is the first and does not want to associate with the others since they are lesser in his mind.

    I never thought about it but with the Ronald Regan situation I would not be shocked if that is common for that generation who divorced. I worked with a guy 10 years ago and he was in his mid forties and just found out his father had a child from his first marriage and it was just never spoken about.
    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
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  • CurlieWhirlieCurlieWhirlie member

    The Ronald Regan Thing (I think we should make that the official name! It will become board slang!) is totally common for that generation. My mother was born in the late 40s, and her bio dad had five other children by two different women whom my mother only met three years ago. The only reason she even sought them out at all was to find out about family medical history, now that they're all getting older.

    Of course my mother was also raised with two half brothers with whom she shared a mother, so I think the "separate families" thing only works when it's the dad who is the shared parent. Which makes sense, I guess. 

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  • twister22twister22 member
    I cannot imagine keeping siblings apart...
    image
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