One & Done: Only child

Questions about having another from your Only

Just curious.  Couple of my friends with onlies have said their LO has asked for a sibling.  My son has never asked that...he knows he has has it good...LOL.  He has asked why do some familes have more than one child and we have one and I have explained it to him.  So have they asked? How did you respond?  Did you second guess your choice/situation?

And another question would be was it a passing thing for them or an on going discussion?

Just thought it would be an interesting point for discussion. 

Re: Questions about having another from your Only

  • Well my can't talk yet, but I'm curious to hear what others have to say!
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  • My husband says "because you make our life complete".  My DS has asked a few times for a sibling, but then hears a baby cries and told me he changed his mind.  LOL
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  • I think mine understands the concept of brothers and sisters (I have one of each, DH has a brother-- plus there are several kids at school who have siblings in other rooms) and she's very articulate, but she hasn't asked about it and we've never really talked about it. If it comes up, it comes up and we'll discuss it along with any/everything else. It definitely won't make me second guess our decision.
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  • She's honestly only said it one time ever, years ago.  "I want a sister, maybe.."  .. and we said something like "mama and papa can't have another kiddo, so you can't... we thought our little family was PERFECT when you came along, and we're soooo happy to have you, and only want you" .. and she's honestly never brought it up again.  Actually, the opposite. She's said a few times "I'm glad I don't have a brother or sister!" (granted, her reasons are on a "selfish" kid level- "I don't have to share with a brother or sister!" or "I can get more toys!" lol) but it's never been an issue.
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  • Not fully yet. She's only 2.5 though. She completely gets the concept as there are many in her daycare room with siblings in other rooms as well as several pg moms of the kids in her room, so she understands there are babies in the mom's bellies and those will be sisters or brothers for her friends.

    My SIL is also pg with their 2nd, and we told her that "Cousin N is going to be a big brother." She immediately said "Cousin N have a sister!" (Turns out she was right, the new baby is a girl!) Which morphed into "Sister for B in mommy's belly?" Nope, sorry kiddo!

    BFP #1 9/23/09. Missed MC 10w3d D&C 11/3/09.

    BFP #2 4/13/10. Bridget born 12/28/10

    BFP #3 Finn born 8/11/15


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  • missymomissymo member
    We are in a book program that sends a free book every month. They sent one that is all about how amazing it is to be a brother or a sister.

    At first I read it as "cousin" instead of brother and sister, but then I just started saying the correct words and in a matter of fact way explained that she wouldn't have a sister or brother, but she would have lots of cousins and friends. I almost threw that damn book out. Lol.

    I am just very straightforward about it. It doesn't matter if she asks for a sibling. She won't be getting one. I just tell her that's her journey, man. Not everyone has a sibling and she's one of those who won't. No lies. No guilt. Just truth.


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    C is 3 years old

  • DS is 4 and hasn't asked this yet.  He definitely understands the concept, but I think with being in daycare and now preschool - he knows that other kids means having to share.  I think he likes coming home to HIS toys and not having to share anymore! ;) 


    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
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  • We have talked about this with each other but LO is still too young to have the concept.

    DH was an only child and constantly wished for a sibling or more, so it's a big concern for him. Not that he sees it as a reason to have another, but he wants LO to be happier with our family than he was.

    And I always got along fine with my brother. So it's not like we'll pretend being an only child is the best, happiest way to be. Just that it's how our lives are. Kinda like he won't have a pony or go to DisneyWorld or all the other things they end up yearning for.

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  • KL777KL777 member

    Yes, DS has asked and I told him every family is different and that he has a mommy and a daddy.  I then start naming individuals who do not have a brother or sister and also start naming all of the cousins he has that are his age.

    I always feel a little bad when he asks those questions because I think he would enjoy a sibling, but I'm just not cut out for multiple children, so I never really second guessed my choice.

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  • lrn327lrn327 member
    C is only 2.5 so he hasn't asked specifically for a sibling yet.  Lots of his friends at DC though are having siblings now and while he's really excited about those babies and others he sees, he told me he doesn't want one.  Thank goodness!  Smile
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  • DD hasn't really processed this, yet. My two cousins, who I'm very close to and live near by, are both TTC. When they have their LOs, DD will be at least 2 1/2. I'm guessing I'll get questions then.

    My plan is to say something similar to pp, "You made our family complete" and let her know how special it is to have her little cousins.

  • meo34meo34 member
    Great discussion and interesting.  Some of my friends felt bad/guilty but never been in the position it was tough to give advice.  At least with nosey co workers you don't have to consider their feelings when they pester you LOL!
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