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XP: SIDS scare + room-sharing

skrapskrap member
in Babies: 0 - 3 Months

Hi all,

I'm a long-time lurker, first-time poster here. My son (first) is 10 weeks old.

He typically goes down for the night around 9:30 & wakes to feed sometime between 1 & 3. Last night I woke up at ten minutes to 4...instead of feeling ecstatic that he had slept for such a long stretch, I was filled with anxiety. Not a peep coming over the monitor, so I went & stood outside his bedroom door--couldn't hear anything. Walked over to his crib, couldn't see his chest moving, placed my hand on his chest & I swear I didn't feel any movement--after maybe 3 seconds I shook him a little bit & could hear/feel him breathing again.

I want to believe that this was 4am sleepiness/paranoia on my part, but I'm terrified that he really may not have been breathing. I think I've been pretty chill as a first-time mom, & I've tried to put SIDS at the back of my mind, but I just can't tonight. I'm so afraid to fall asleep.

We moved our son to his own room when he was 6 weeks old. It's maybe ten feet from ours. We take every precaution I know of to prevent SIDS--he's breastfed, no crib bumpers, nothing in the crib with him, ceiling fan on in his room. He's been doing so well in his own room/crib, I'd hate to backpedal & bring him back in with us, but I'm wondering if that really would be the best thing to do, safety-wise.

Do most families room-share until 6+ months?

Not sure what I'm looking for here--mostly just needed to get this off my chest. I know there's really nothing I can do to completely ensure his safety, so...suggestions for coping with the anxiety? I'm hoping it'll ease a bit after tonight's over...

Thanks! 

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Re: XP: SIDS scare + room-sharing

  • rjeller32rjeller32 member

    Oh man, I remember that anxiety with my firstborn. I swear every ten minutes I would put my finger under her nose to feel her breath. As long as you are taking all the steps to prevent SIDS, there is not much more you can do. The anxiety does go away, but if you aren't comfortable having him in his crib, and you prefer co-sleeping, then go for it, as long as you are being safe.

    I co-slept with DD1 to four months, and DD2 to 3 months. When they get older, and are able to roll around, you get a little peace of mind. 

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  • ClandestineXClandestineX member

    I bet you are afraid, I know any parent.. including me is afraid of SIDS. Anyways, newborns breathe erratically, sometimes they have fast.. very fast.. very slow breathing patterns. You might want to ask about apnea to your Pedi just in case this happens frequently.

    My cousin was saved from SIDS. My older cousin watched her sleeping... but something was off, she was breathing fine and normal... but she looked differently so she tried to wake her... no response. She moved her, shook her lightly, yelled, but no response... but she was breathing. The paramedics came tried to wake her but still no response and so they rushed her to the emergency room where she finally woke up like nothing happened. The doctor said that her mother probably saved her from SIDS that day. 

     
     
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  • buffyverrban1buffyverrban1

    I co-slept until my DD was 6 months, then she was in our room until 13 months and every so often if she wakes up through the night now I still bring her into our bed. (15 months)

    I wouldn't have been able to sleep with her in a different room. Having her in a crib in my room was hard for me. I would wake up and check her if she was sleeping too long. 

    It gets better, but it hasn't gone away for me yet. I still get scared when she sleeps through the night / sleeps in in the morning. (Although I can usually wait it out, I don't have to go check anymore) 

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  • Steph BezSteph Bez member
    An angel care monitor might give you some peace of mind, we have one and it's gone off a couple of times, it's very scary but it's nice knowing you will be woken up if a heartbeat isn't detected. You can set the sensitivity to different levels for when they are older too.
    Love my million dollar family with 2U2! DS born: 12/16/10 DD born: 07/18/12
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  • skrapskrap member
    imagemilkergirl1:

    Have you looked into a Snuza monitor?

     https://www.amazon.com/Snuza-Halo-Baby-Movement-Monitor/dp/B002ITOC7S/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1368586370&sr=8-2&keywords=snuza

     

    I have, but we haven't invested in one because I've heard from friends that they're super over sensitive--I might consider getting one now though if I can't calm myself down a bit. Thanks!

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  • swelniakswelniak member
    I know it's scary, but as pp said, their breathing can be really slow. Sometimes, my LO breaths so softly that I really have to stare at him for a little while to see it. I think at 4 am I might miss it. I definitely know its scary and LO still sleeps in our room in his bassinet, but I know I'll have the same concerns when he makes the move to his crib. I don't think I want a snuza or angel care though for the same reason you said. I think the false alarms would make me more paranoid.

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  • ASmallWonderASmallWonder member
    I think we've all had those nights but if you can step back from the immediate scared feelings, you'll realize it seems almost impossible that he truly wasn't breathing.  I say that because you were able to confirm breathing in him with a small nudge and he's no worse for wear which would mean that if he truly wasn't breathing, he had literally just stopped a moment earlier and you HAPPENED to wake up at exactly that moment, kwim?  We do all we can do to keep them safe and just have to have faith everything will be ok.
    Formerly known as elmoali :)

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  • skrapskrap member
    Thank you all so much! He woke us up again at 4 last night I'm feeling a lot better this morning. I had just worked myself into such a bad head space, so I appreciate all the feedback!
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  • lkm2006lkm2006 member
    Seriously, an angel care monitor. I wouldn't sleep without it.

    I have the snuza also but much prefer the angel care. It has different sensitivity levels so you can play around and get the right one, then you have less false alarms. LO is 10 weeks old and it's gone off once when he moved off the pad.

     

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  • brauchtmbrauchtm member
    Relieve your tension and buy the angelcare breathing monitor.  It's a little pad under the mattress that sends out an alarm if no breathing for over a certain number of seconds.  Love ours.  Had a friend who swears it saved her sons life - after we heard that, we were sold.  
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  • brauchtmbrauchtm member
    Oh yeah - we've used ours for two kids and only had one false alarm.  Had a freaking heart attack that night, but it was worth all the per nights of peaceful sleep.  
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  • J+MSJ+MS member
    Newborns have normal periods of apnea. As long as their HR doesn't slow down and their oxygen saturation doesn't decrease. Which you can't tell from home when they aren't hooked up to monitors but that's how we tell regular apneas from dangerous ones. I'm sure your babe is fine :)
    "Seriously, mommy forum people are some crazy ass bitches." New Year New You
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