Serious quick advice needed

Hopeforthebest · May 2013

My sister just called me. Her Ex H tried to kill himself Monday. His mother just notified my sister. My niece was scheduled for her weekend this upcoming weekend and OBVIOUSLY that is not gonna happen.

He is still in the psych ward at the hospital.

Does she call lawyer ask for temporary order to cancel visitation? Ask for supervised visitation after he is released? No clue where to even start.

Holly_1007 · May 2013

Start by calling the lawyer and suspending visitation.

Then ask the lawyer how to proceed.

hindsight's_a_biotch · May 2013

Sure, call a lawyer but really, I'd just wait it out to see what happens. The man is suicidal. Do we really think it's the wisest move to rush into court to legalize "taking away his kid" which is how he's going to view it when circumstances being what they are he's not going to be exercising his visitation right now?

She should try to contact the admitting doctor and see what they recommend on how to proceed. I doubt they'll tell her anything about his mental state but they can probably tell her if she should bring her daughter around or what.

fellesferie · May 2013

Yes, she should call the lawyer and let him know what happened. The attorney will likely be able to suggest a course of action. Does she have a good relationship with her xMIL? If so, she should try to keep the lines of communication open with her.

In terms of supervised parenting time or whatever else, all that can wait. IMO it has to wait until she knows more about what happened.

Hopeforthebest · May 2013

His mother is diabetic (he lives at home with her) and he apparently injected 3+ "viles"? of insulin. She was able to get him into the vehicle with the syringes in his hand still and told my sister it took 5 cops/security guards at the hospital to get them away from him and then there is something about him trying to slit his wrists at the hospital (no idea how that happens at the hospital).

Apparently this is all over a break up with a woman he has been seeing for less than a year.

Just want to cover all the bases...she has o.k. relationship with ex MIL and will def. play extra nice to keep lines of communication open.

Lawyer is out on vacation this week (one man office).

ambrvan · May 2013

I agree with PP wgo said to be careful about rushing into things. He will likely not cope with it well.and could take it out on himself or his daughter, heaven forbid he abscond with her or something.

I do think she should cobtact her attorney immediately and get a temporary order of supervised visitation put in place and if possible contact his doctors or have her attorney do so about how to proceed with this. In this kind of situation, his health is tied to the child's health, as well. KWIM?

Hopeforthebest · May 2013

Def. don't want to rock the boat with his delicate mental health situation, but just want to cover sister and do things correctly and on record in case God forbid this blows up more down the road.

My niece loves her dad and the relationship between sister and him has progressed to where he has been to the last two birthday parties and much better about communication.

HisChamaoleGirl · May 2013

Hopeforthebest:
My sister just called me. Her Ex H tried to kill himself Monday. His mother just notified my sister. My niece was scheduled for her weekend this upcoming weekend and OBVIOUSLY that is not gonna happen.
He is still in the psych ward at the hospital.
Does she call lawyer ask for temporary order to cancel visitation? Ask for supervised visitation after he is released? No clue where to even start.

When this happened to a family member she filed an emergency with the courts and the BF only had supervised visits. This went on until he completed directed classes and counseling. He now has his regular visitation schedule back. If she has a lawyer, I would suggest reaching out to him to file immediately.

Pamelacake · May 2013

I wish I had the answer to that. BM tried to hang herself in front of then 4 and 5yo SD's and we can't seem to get the jugde to bugde. All judges are different though. Good Luck!

hindsight's_a_biotch · May 2013

MelRC117:
If people seriously think a doctor is going to release any information to some person over the phone, then they clearly dont know anything about protection of medical informatuon. good luck to you OP...we went through this and no one could do *** supposedly

Stellar reading comprehension skills there, honey. Really, excellent work.

ambrvan · May 2013

MelRC117:
hindsight's_a_biotch:
MelRC117:
If people seriously think a doctor is going to release any information to some person over the phone, then they clearly dont know anything about protection of medical informatuon.
good luck to you OP...we went through this and no one could do *** supposedly
 
Stellar reading comprehension skills there, honey. Really, excellent work. 

Really, excellent work at being a bittch.
No doctor is going to tell you how to proceed with something you do through the LEGAL system smarty. But really honey, nice advice.

I think what people mean, including myself, is that the doctor might be willing to advise on what would be best for the BD's mental stability in regards to seeing his child and whether or not he is a danger tmultiple

We have dealt with similar situations multiple times with BM, and the doctor attending was always a different one and was always willing to help in whatever way that would not violate HIPPA.

Also, since the BD is in a psych ward, he should have a social worker assigned. They should be able to help somewhat, too.

+just+j+ · May 2013

Mel's right on this one. You can check, but that doctor is not going to advise anyone on anything except direct family - i.e. his mother. So I suggest OP's sister talk directly to them and find out thru them.

An emergency custody order is not unreasonable. More than likely they will keep him for at least a couple of weeks. SD stayed for almost 2 herself when she tried her fake "I need attention" suicide attempt. That's where you want him to find out. They can help him sort thru how that may affect him. The kids need to be protected. Period.

hindsight's_a_biotch · May 2013

ambrvan:

I think what people mean, including myself, is that the doctor might be willing to advise on what would be best for the BD's mental stability in regards to seeing his child and whether or not he is a danger tmultiple We have dealt with similar situations multiple times with BM, and the doctor attending was always a different one and was always willing to help in whatever way that would not violate HIPPA. Also, since the BD is in a psych ward, he should have a social worker assigned. They should be able to help somewhat, too.

Yes, thank you, this was exactly what I was saying as I was sure I'd made it clear that the OP's sister should probably wait out legal proceedings while he was in the hospital as long as there was no danger to her child. I also made sure to note that the doctors could not and likely would not give her information about his condition or treatment.

Wahoo · May 2013

+just+j+:
An emergency custody order is not unreasonable.
...That's where you want him to find out. They can help him sort thru how that may affect him. The kids need to be protected. Period.

It's not the ex's job to worry about her former husband's feelings. It's her job to protect her child. A parent who threatens suicide is not fit to care for a child until they can prove they are healthy.

ballmom · May 2013

hindsight's_a_biotch:
ambrvan:

I think what people mean, including myself, is that the doctor might be willing to advise on what would be best for the BD's mental stability in regards to seeing his child and whether or not he is a danger tmultiple We have dealt with similar situations multiple times with BM, and the doctor attending was always a different one and was always willing to help in whatever way that would not violate HIPPA. Also, since the BD is in a psych ward, he should have a social worker assigned. They should be able to help somewhat, too.
Yes, thank you, this was exactly what I was saying as I was sure I'd made it clear that the OP's sister should probably wait out legal proceedings while he was in the hospital as long as there was no danger to her child. I also made sure to note that the doctors could not and likely would not give her information about his condition or treatment.

I work for a physicians group and I can assure you that the doctors will not discuss anything with anyone who is not listed on the HIPAA forms. They should not even tell you if the patient is being seen by them or not, outside of a CO of course.

That said, I agree with the others and that she should contact her attorney and ask what he recommends be done. It is a delicate situation and the attorney will know exactly how to handle it.

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