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should expectant dads help pay pregnancy bills?

destinycochran1destinycochran1 member
in Dads & Dads-to-be

My boyfriend and I live together and split all of our house bills evenly. I feel like we should also split the prenatal care bills. I?m spending a few hundred dollars a month on my medical expenses, despite having insurance and despite my boyfriend making more money than me. Also, I?m 16 weeks along.

 

I tried to talk to him about helping me with the pregnancy costs and he said, ?Look I understand where you?re coming from, and that you feel it?s fair for me to help with the baby bills. But I don?t really feel like I have to?.

 

He figures sense it?s my body and my doctor?s appointments that I should pay for them all on my own. This is our first pregnancy so I?m not sure what the standard is.

 

I don?t know if I should just keep struggling to pay everything alone or if I should talk to him again about helping. Are expectant dads supposed to help pregnancy bills?

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Re: should expectant dads help pay pregnancy bills?

  • futant462futant462 member

    I'm laughing to myself because of how ridiculous this guy sounds.  News flash for him:  pregnancy is a shared experience.  

    "Since it's my body and my doctors appointments...I should pay for them."  What kind of "man" would tell you that?!

    Expectant Dad's should help with everything.  Bills, cleaning, lawn care, pet care, going to the store for weird food cravings, giving daily moral support to their significant other...because after all it's you doing all of the work.  

    Obviously I don't know how old you two are and whether this is a planned pregnancy.  Regardless, he has to man up and help you no matter what. 

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  • destinycochran1destinycochran1 member
    I'm twenty and he will be twenty next month, maturity and responsibility are things he's still learning about. But it is nice to know I'm not asking too much from him.
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  • futant462futant462 member

    imagedestinycochran1:
    maturity and responsibility are things he's still learning about. .

     He's about to get a lesson in maturity and responsibility.

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  • Kentuckyboy76Kentuckyboy76

    Explain it to him like this. The baby is 50% you and 50% me so that is how we split the bills....

     I almost cant type that without a smirk on my face as I agree with Futant, he is about to get a huge lesson on being a responsible person.

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  • LuckyDadLuckyDad member
    imagedestinycochran1:

    I tried to talk to him about helping me with the pregnancy costs and he said, ?Look I understand where you?re coming from, and that you feel it?s fair for me to help with the baby bills. But I don?t really feel like I have to?.

     He figures sense it?s my body and my doctor?s appointments that I should pay for them all on my own. This is our first pregnancy so I?m not sure what the standard is.

     

    "I know you like blowjobs and would like a blowjob, but it's my body, and I don't really feel like I have to".

     

    You need to sit down with this guy and have a long, long talk about the expenses involved in raising a child and what you two think is "fair". Technically he's correct, he doesn't "have" to help you out. But he should, and it's concerning he's not willing to. 

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BhqjipgCIAAOz7H.jpg
    -My son was born in April 2012. He pretty much rules.
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  • destinycochran1destinycochran1 member
    imageLuckyDad:

    Technically he's correct, he doesn't "have" to help you out. But he should, and it's concerning he's not willing to. 

     

    Yeah his overall detached behavior towards the pregnancy concerns me a lot.

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  • T3hHusbandT3hHusband member
    This is some serious bullshi... You think it's hard now? Wait until his reality check bounces. I'm sorry, but it looks like you'll be footing a lot of bills. Don't worry too much though, I'm sure he'll be able to provide good child support.
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  • ladyjenna13ladyjenna13 member
    imagefutant462:

    imagedestinycochran1:
    maturity and responsibility are things he's still learning about. .

     He's about to get a lesson in maturity and responsibility.

    No truer words have been spoken.

    I would add this....estasblish paternity immediately after birth and get the child support process started shortly after that. Since you are not married, and he is obviously an immature boy-man at this point, you need to make sure that your child is being taken care of by his father.  I use the word "father" tounge-in-cheek.

    Your responsibilites are to your child, not this dude.

    image

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  • T3hHusbandT3hHusband member
    imageladyjenna13:
    imagefutant462:

    imagedestinycochran1:
    maturity and responsibility are things he's still learning about. .

     He's about to get a lesson in maturity and responsibility.

    No truer words have been spoken.

    I would add this....estasblish paternity immediately after birth and get the child support process started shortly after that. Since you are not married, and he is obviously an immature boy-man at this point, you need to make sure that your child is being taken care of by his father.  I use the word "father" tounge-in-cheek.

    Your responsibilites are to your child, not this dude.

    +Eleventibillion. 
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  • 2010weddinggal2010weddinggal member
    thats a pretty douche thing to say, sorry dear ur going through this but it takes two to make a baby. it should be two that supports baby.
    <a href="http://lilypie.com/"><img src="http://lb1m.lilypie.com/NpgBm8.png" width="200" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie First Birthday tickers"
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  • mirandaranae8mirandaranae8 member
    I would almost say that he needs to pay MORE than 50% of the prenatal care, since you split everything else 50/50 but YOU are the one who is carrying the child and gets to deal with the not so fun aspects of pregnancy. You're the one whose body will be changed forever.. he needs to man up, regardless of age. I've heard of 17 year old boys who have stepped up more than this. If he makes more money, it shouldn't be a problem.. and if you split your bills 50/50 then he should also have to do 50% of the chores around the house.. especially since HE got YOU pregnant!!! :D
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