Homeschooling, do your kids pay attention?

DisneyFreeek · May 2013

Right now my girls are 1.5 and 2.5. Lately the older one has been asking me about school. I think because of questions that her grandparents ask. She has an amazing memory. Their favorite show is Umizoomi, and they know pretty much all the shapes, they know patterns, 2 year old can count to almost 20, she knows her colors, and can sing the entire ABC song. I sit down with them with flash cards, and while the 2 year old pays attention, the 1 year old does not. Is this just an age thing? I am so afraid of making the choice to homeschool, and they will be unruly and not want to listen to me. They don't listen much as it is, but I figure it's because they are so close in age, and big sis acts like a baby sometimes because why can sissy and she can't? But I am also majorly afraid of the school systems in my town. I live in one of the worst cities in CA, according to a list. We have so many gangs, in fact someone was murdered around the corner from the school they would attend, and we live on a decent side of town.

I am also afraid of the bs that my DH's parents will give me. My mom is all on board, but the formally educated and snobby side of his parents tells me they won't be supporting in my decision. They are all about friends and socializing, where while I think that is important, it is not everything. I had friends in school, I speak to a few of them on facebook, but no life lasting friendships. I would rather my kids focus on all learning and not so much on who has designer jeans and who is dating who. That's all nonsense and I don't really want them to think these things are important.

And what about college? Are there moms here who home schooled and did your kids get into a good college? I want my girls to go places, not be stuck in this town forever. I did not go to college, so I have no idea what it takes to get into one. I pretty much gave up in school because I just didn't respect teachers. I was extremely smart as a child, I was in advanced classes and all, but I just had no desire to learn from books.

So that brings me to another question. I saw a Wife Swap episode with the "unschoolers" and I thought, what an interesting take. While I don't agree with just letting them play on the kindle all day, I do let them play with it. We have books, puzzle games, animal match games, and it is a very easy way for her to learn for herself. If she runs into something she can't figure out, she asks me. I know I don't want to force them to do anything they don't like, ever. I hate the answer, "because I said so." I always try to explain my actions to my kids so they understand "why." Any advice on experiences with your kids, and at what age should I start a classroom type environment if I choose to homeschool. Obviously 2 is a bit young, the attention just isn't there with my little one yet. Thanks moms, I really need some advice!

wifeofadam · May 2013

I sit down with them with flash cards, and while the 2 year old pays attention, the 1 year old does not. Is this just an age thing? None of my two-year-olds, with the exception of the first one, liked to do flashcards. I think the oldest tends to be more obedient and used to just sitting and focusing on Mommy, so it's easier for them. Second+ born children are used to being entertained by older siblings. Sitting with a flashcard is boring.

Plus, all children are different. my 4YO hates flashcards and still won't sit with me to do them. It doesn't mean he won't learn well from me, it just means I have to change my teaching style to appeal to his learning style.

As far as parents go, you need to do what you think is right for your kids regardless of what anyone else says. We've had some family members say some offensive things about our decision, but we have confidence in our choice and the proof is in the pudding. Our outcomes, we feel, as far superior to our family members who are choosing to send their kids away to school. I think seeing that is shutting those people up.

And what about college? Are there moms here who home schooled and did your kids get into a good college?

I have friends who were homeschooled and got into good colleges. Actually, colleges are now trying to "recruit" homeschooled kids because of what they bring to the school. Most schools are finding that homeschooled kids don't require the same remediation as their public-schooled peers.

We sort of do unschooling with certain subjects, but do formal lessons in math and language arts. While I want my children to pursue whatever they are interested in at any given time, I also know that math isn't one of those things that is going to appeal to everyone. Plus, at such a young age, I feel like teaching them to read and write properly is crucial to them being able to explore their own interests one day. Once they can read and write well, they can explore a book on any topic they choose. But getting them to the point where they are reading and writing does, in my opinion, require some formal lessons.

I would suggest doing some research on different learning and teaching methods and find what suits your personality and family lifestyle the best. After doing this, we have decided to approach our kids' educations with a combo of the Charlotte Mason style and unit studies. We have planned unit study topics, but do a lot of unschooling within the topics, if that makes sense.

Gwyneddlesliegrace · May 2013

My girls at almost 2 and 4. My four year old is your typical "high spirited" child. She never sits, has so much energy, and is very very strong willed. We starting home schooling this past January and I am honestly VERY surprised by our results. She will sit and listen, do her school work, behave, and is excelling. The structure has been amazing for her and I am very confident about our home schooling future.

As far as your in laws, it's not really up to them. It is your and your H's choice, they will have to deal.

Plenty of home schoolers go to good colleges. They tend to have higher test scores and really excel.

I saw that episode of wife swap and had a lot of issues with it. The 11 year old was just learning to read... Make sure you do your research and do what is best for YOUR family. You know your kids and what they need education wise.

Lulobug22 · May 2013

Your kids are babies there is no reason to try to do flash cards with them. They learn through play.

TobieRose · May 2013

As you say, 1 is definitely young to be paying attention to flash cards, so I wouldn't worry about that just yet. Right now their job is to be active, so asking them to sit down and pay attention to a "school-like" activity is beyond their grasp. Honestly I don't think you have to worry about any sort of school-like environment until your kids are 5 or 6. Read to them all the time, take them on walks outside and talk about the things you see, etc. They are already learning so much at this age on their own!

My little one is 1 so I haven't started homeschooling yet, but I was homeschooled k-12 and I got into a good college and got a full ride for grad school. I think things will be pretty different by the time our kiddos are old enough for college in terms of requirements etc, but for me, I took my SATs and GED and that was fine.

Also, homeschooling your children certainly doesn't mean giving up on socialization! Personally I believe healthy and natural socialization involves interaction with ALL ages, not the unnatural situation of being stuck in a room with 20-30 kids the exact same age. But there are homeschool groups and activities available depending on where you live, so your kids can have plenty of opportunity to interact with their peers. You will have to research a bit to see what's available in your area, but that will give you something to tell your DH's parents.

I can't help out much with the unschooling; I wasn't unschooled and the only unschoolers I knew growing up were practically illiterate by the time they were in high school (!!), so my experience of it has been negative. The oldest girl was 14 years old and couldn't read because she never WANTED to learn how to read and her mom didn't force her. I know there are a lot of different ways to unschool and that it works well for some people. No matter what way you choose to homeschool, at some point you will probably meet with resistance from your kids, I guess that's just a part of parenting too.

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