Baptism

Jenny935 · May 2013

We have our baptism scheduled for July. We are both confirmed Catholics, but we rarely go to church. However, most of the grandparents are super Catholic. We do feel like maybe he'll take to church more than we did, so we owe him the chance to make the decision for himself. However I don't know how long I can stay Catholic. I was all on board for this, and then at the meeting last night we got the speech about how it takes love, a husband, a wife, and God to make a baby. (My snarky self just couldn't help whispering to DH, "He forgot to mention Dr. Y!") While we are not planning on discussing the IVF with him until he's older, he will know eventually, and I don't know how I'll answer his questions about bringing him up Catholic knowing how the church feels about the whole thing. Anyone else in this boat?

PennyLane26 · May 2013

I am Catholic and have the same concerns. While I have major hesitations about the views of he current church, I love my faith and the basics of Catholicism. We will baptize LO, but as she grows up I will be clear about some of our conflicting beliefs.

In the meantime I seriously hope the "higher powers" reconsider a lot of the teachings and policies and pay attention to our evolving world, especially in regards to IF, homosexuality, and marriage in general. The church is quickly alienating the people who make our world and our parish such a wonderful place.

mrskitton · May 2013

PennyLane26:

I am Catholic and have the same concerns. While I have major hesitations about the views of he current church, I love my faith and the basics of Catholicism. We will baptize LO, but as she grows up I will be clear about some of our conflicting beliefs.

In the meantime I seriously hope the "higher powers" reconsider a lot of the teachings and policies and pay attention to our evolving world, especially in regards to IF, homosexuality, and marriage in general. The church is quickly alienating the people who make our world and our parish such a wonderful place.

This...100%. I don't think its wrong to have a religion with those conflicting beliefs and I want M to know this as well.

itsmevkb · May 2013

I'm Catholic but my husband is not. All of our children have been baptized and we are raising them Catholic.

I think I take a little different view than most in that I don't expect the Catholic church to change their teachings to accomodate my views. We did do IVF and we made certain decisions regarding it based on my Catholic faith. My husband and I agreed to use every embryo as I do believe life begins at conception so something like destroying an embryo or donating it to science is not acceptable for us. I feel that the overriding teaching of the Church is to have respect for life, and I believe our choices in our treatment cycles reflected that teaching despite it also breaking some of the other "rules." And, I'm like that with most things. We will teach our children that above all else, the Church teaches and God wants us to love and respect each other and so as long as you're following that principle the rest will fall into place, even if not always 100% aligned with the Church's teachings.

srveatch · May 2013

PennyLane26:

I am Catholic and have the same concerns. While I have major hesitations about the views of he current church, I love my faith and the basics of Catholicism. We will baptize LO, but as she grows up I will be clear about some of our conflicting beliefs.

In the meantime I seriously hope the "higher powers" reconsider a lot of the teachings and policies and pay attention to our evolving world, especially in regards to IF, homosexuality, and marriage in general. The church is quickly alienating the people who make our world and our parish such a wonderful place.

I agree with the above. I had A baptized in April. I was questioning it at first but want her to be exposed to the structure of christian values that the church provides. I too hope the church evolves to modern acceptance.

OceanBreeze1 · May 2013

We are the same boat as you. We baptized DD because I would rather her decide later on that she didn't want to follow it than decide she wants to and have to go through everything for it.

That being said, we also got married in a Catholic ceremony. During our talks the priest, DH's childhood priest, came to our house. Completely non judgmental even though we were living together. He said something that stuck with me, but I don't know that every priest would do the same.

He said being Catholic doesn't mean you have to agree with EVERY thing. Basically, being a good person, doing good, etc., is the important part.

I have a lot of issues with the specifics of the Catholic Church, but I feel like teaching the overall gist of it will be good for DD, as long as it's not forced.

Can you find another place to do the baptism at? A different priest or pastor can make a big difference.

ccam · May 2013

OceanBreeze1:
We are the same boat as you. We baptized DD because I would rather her decide later on that she didn't want to follow it than decide she wants to and have to go through everything for it. That being said, we also got married in a Catholic ceremony. During our talks the priest, DH's childhood priest, came to our house. Completely non judgmental even though we were living together. He said something that stuck with me, but I don't know that every priest would do the same. He said being Catholic doesn't mean you have to agree with EVERY thing. Basically, being a good person, doing good, etc., is the important part. I have a lot of issues with the specifics of the Catholic Church, but I feel like teaching the overall gist of it will be good for DD, as long as it's not forced. Can you find another place to do the baptism at? A different priest or pastor can make a big difference.

This is how I feel. I believe that a lot of what is preached in the church today is someone's interpretation. Maybe you would feel better about the whole thing if you spoke to another priest?

Jenny935 · May 2013

Thanks, everyone! This is the big church in our area ... we plan on auditioning the couple other ones that are nearby but for scheduling a baptism we went with the one with the most availability. It was a deacon doing the meeting last night so I hope to meet and like a priest at some point! When I was growing up, moms did our CCD classes until Confirmation year. The priest that year was really cool. It was like a regular guy who happened to be a priest. He'd be taking off his football jersey when we got there for class on Sunday nights... Too bad he moved to Alaska! I'm hoping it all falls into place. As much as I find myself disagreeing with some things in the Catholic Church, when I'm at services at other churches it never seems quite 'right' either! I subscribe to the "be good people" train of thought. So that's where we are at. Thanks for sharing all your non-judgmental thoughts and feelings.

Jenny952 · May 2013

Yeah I have the same issues with the Church. I was raised Catholic, complete with Catholic education K-12! I appreciate the faith more so for its history and how it connects me with my family. A lot of family events have happened around church events, baptisms, confirmations, weddings, and it's comforting to sing the songs I learned as a child. I do not agree with a lot of teachings but I am a very spiritual person - I suppose karma is more of a true reflection of my spiritualtiy, and I'm too lazy to find another religion that is a better fit. I also really like my current church and priest, and use the time each week to reflect on how blessed I am and what I could have done better. You could say I'm a "cafeteria Catholic" but I'm ok with that.

The way I look at it, someday DD may want religion to play a big part of her life. I want to give her a foundation and let her choose if and how she wants religion in her life. I haven't decided how or when to bring up how she was conceived (IUI)... definitely when she's old enough to understand and not be freaked out about it and also by the tie she's ready to start a family of her own.

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