Gender Reveal Party

DemoDoll · May 2013

I know it's sex and not gender but I think Gender Reveal Party is the common name everyone uses.

Anyway, after seeing so many people in the GYKY post that their flame worthy thing is a gender reveal party. Please enlighten me why it's flameable?

Also, my flameable thing was team sneaky. What's everyone's opinion on that.

The board seems kind of slow so I thought I would spark a discussion.

DemoDoll · May 2013

I will start with my opinions, I think a GRP isn't flameable because I don't think it's AW at all. We did one and it was a blast and the people who attended had a great time. We had 20 people come, between our siblings, parents, grandparents, and best friends. We served pizza and cake and ice cream and appetizers. We had people cast a vote on what they thought we were having by wearing that color to the party. We also had favors that we made for everyone, which was a candy buffet. When Everyone RSVPd they asked about gifts and I simply said that we wanted this party so all of the most important people could find out what our baby wAs at the same time so this is not a party to bring presents to. So no one did.

Team sneaky might be flameable but we just want to do it to have something secretive between DH and I. We actually were team sneaky for 4 weeks last time and no one still knows, it was a lot of fun. We kept her name a secret and people were so annoying about it. But when my brother was team green, when people asked about their baby's name they said they can't decide because they don't even know what they are having yet. So having the elusion that we are team green will hopefully get people off our backs about names.

ramfan05 · May 2013

My guess is that people consider it flame worthy because it is AWish. I just say to each her own, we are team green anyway! If someone wants to celebrate, let them celebrate!

Also, I don't know what team sneaky is. I must've missed that in the other post. Please enlighten me!

DemoDoll · May 2013

ramfan05:
My guess is that people consider it flame worthy because it is AWish. I just say to each her own, we are team green anyway! If someone wants to celebrate, let them celebrate!nbsp;Also, I don't know what team sneaky is. I must've missed that in the other post. Please enlighten me!nbsp;

It where the parents find out what they are having and don't tell people. I've heard both ways where people know you are team sneaky or people still think you are team green. We will be acting like we are team green. We will never tell people we knew, even after the baby is born.

JulianneJacks · May 2013

DemoDoll:
ramfan05:
My guess is that people consider it flame worthy because it is AWish. I just say to each her own, we are team green anyway! If someone wants to celebrate, let them celebrate!nbsp;Also, I don't know what team sneaky is. I must've missed that in the other post. Please enlighten me!nbsp;

It where the parents find out what they are having and don't tell people. I've heard both ways where people know you are team sneaky or people still think you are team green. We will be acting like we are team green. We will never tell people we knew, even after the baby is born.

Do you really think you're not going to let it slip by referring to the baby as him or her after you know?

JulianneJacks · May 2013

DemoDoll:
ramfan05:
My guess is that people consider it flame worthy because it is AWish. I just say to each her own, we are team green anyway! If someone wants to celebrate, let them celebrate!nbsp;Also, I don't know what team sneaky is. I must've missed that in the other post. Please enlighten me!nbsp;

It where the parents find out what they are having and don't tell people. I've heard both ways where people know you are team sneaky or people still think you are team green. We will be acting like we are team green. We will never tell people we knew, even after the baby is born.

Do you really think you're not going to let it slip by referring to the baby as him or her after you know?

ramfan05 · May 2013

DemoDoll:
ramfan05:
My guess is that people consider it flame worthy because it is AWish. I just say to each her own, we are team green anyway! If someone wants to celebrate, let them celebrate!nbsp;Also, I don't know what team sneaky is. I must've missed that in the other post. Please enlighten me!nbsp;
It where the parents find out what they are having and don't tell people. I've heard both ways where people know you are team sneaky or people still think you are team green. We will be acting like we are team green. We will never tell people we knew, even after the baby is born.

Thanks! That's what I thought it was, but wanted to be sure.

Like the gender reveal parties, I really don't have any problem with people doing it this way. I think it's kind of fun that you and your husband will have such a special secret between you. It seems when you're pregnant, people think your pregnancy and everything about it is everyone's business, so it'd be nice to have something just for you two.

If it were one of my friends and I knew they were team sneaky, I don't feel like I would treat it any differently than if I knew they were team green. It certainly wouldn't make me mad that they wouldn't tell me the sex of their baby!

ramfan05 · May 2013

macylynn27:
I think that it can be flameworthy/AWish depending on how you go about it. If you demand/expect presents, or invite everyone who also attended your shower, that's a little much.
But I was always a fan of GRP with close friends and family with no gifts. I think the way you went about it was perfect. Sounds like a lot of fun!

I totally agree with this. If it seems like someone is doing it for the gifts, then that's what the shower is for. I think having all of the people you love around to announce to them all (they are all going to want to know anyway, right?!) could be fun.

Sarah52Beth · May 2013

A gender reveal party is a little much for me. I could see inviting people over for dinner or to hang out and then make it a surprise that we got a gender reveal cake or something, but I wouldn't want to have a party with invitations or decorations. I think something more low-key is more my style.

Realistically, since we live 7 hours from home, we would probably do something for a gender reveal with just the two of us, and then post pics on fb for our family to see. That way they don't feel left out.

I couldn't be team sneaky. I would definitely let it slip. H and I are still undecided whether we would find out or be team green. We are both planners, but my parents have convinced us that is the best and most genuine surprise of your life.

lmills730 · May 2013

macylynn27:
I think that it can be flameworthy/AWish depending on how you go about it. If you demand/expect presents, or invite everyone who also attended your shower, that's a little much.
But I was always a fan of GRP with close friends and family with no gifts. I think the way you went about it was perfect. Sounds like a lot of fun!

Totally agree. I am in the special events industry so the idea of a fun party always calls my name. I would only invite family (parents, grandparents, siblings) and very close friends who I know would really care. I imagine a fun dinner party with reveal cupcakes or something for dessert. Nothing elaborate and no presents.

candrew05 · May 2013

This will likely be flameable...
I hate to say "it's a lot of hype for nothing" but..."it's sort of a lot of hype for nothing."
May sound awful, I understand the excitement in revealing the sex, and really to each their own. I'm happy for those that enjoy it. I don't understand what team green or sneaky mean, but personally I've never found the sex that important to use as an excuse to party. Plus I hate being the centre of attention so a shower is enough of that!
If we decide to find out the sex I'm sure we will reveal it somewhat the same way we decide to tell family we are pregnant. Likely individually. I don't know a soul who would be offended over "the order" we do it in.

Edit: I like how the next two posters after me phrase it as well...

kndeckar · May 2013

Sorry but my personal opinion on Gender reveal parties is they are AWish. In my experience, nobody cares as much about the sex of your baby as you do. They may pretend to, but they don't. Trust me.

And I've never heard the term Team Sneaky before, but I think I understand it. I don't see a problem with keeping it a secret at all, I just think it would be a LOT of work to try to keep something from slipping!

pantherRN · May 2013

My excitement over your child's sex, which is small to begin with, isn't going to change if you tell me via text or invite me to a party. I think aside from maybe your parents and siblings, this is true for most people.

I don't understand wasting money to have a party where the main event is cutting into a cake with colored icing.

I think this is an UO though.

DemoDoll · May 2013

JulianneJacks:
DemoDoll:
ramfan05:
My guess is that people consider it flame worthy because it is AWish. I just say to each her own, we are team green anyway! If someone wants to celebrate, let them celebrate!nbsp;Also, I don't know what team sneaky is. I must've missed that in the other post. Please enlighten me!nbsp;

It where the parents find out what they are having and don't tell people. I've heard both ways where people know you are team sneaky or people still think you are team green. We will be acting like we are team green. We will never tell people we knew, even after the baby is born.

Do you really think you're not going to let it slip by referring to the baby as him or her after you know?

Not at all, we actually kind of found out at 12 weeks that she was a girl and kept that a secret and then found out at 16 weeks that she was for sure a girl and never let it slip for 4 weeks. It was fun and I don't think it would be hard at all for us.

Milagros315 · May 2013

pantherRN:
My excitement over your child's sex, which is small to begin with, isn't going to change if you tell me via text or invite me to a party. I think aside from maybe your parents and siblings, this is true for most people.

I don't understand wasting money to have a party where the main event is cutting into a cake with colored icing.

I think this is an UO though.

This is exactly what I was thinking.

marlyjane · May 2013

Although I love planning, I think the DH and I would prefer to be team green... it's just so classic (and increasingly uncommon) to find out what the baby is at birth. Plus - if we can get pregnant - we do want more than one kid. So keeping the newborn stuff neutral makes sense to me: hand-me-downs.

Thankfully I've never had to go to the gender reveal party - I've only seen them on Facebook. If we found out the sex, there's no way that would happen - I avoid parties that involve myself at all costs. Even though whole baby shower idea makes my skin crawl - although it would be nice to get *stuff*, and I love being around my friends... I hate being the center of attention. I would imagine that I would like it even less if I were pregnant, ha.

The last gender reveal party I saw on Facebook was on Sunday. The mom and dad had the doc write the gender of the baby on a piece of paper and put it in an envelope. They took it to a floral shop with instructions to bring blue or pink balloons - so at the reveal party, even the mom and dad were finding out for the first time. Still haven't decided if that was neat or weird.

DemoDoll · May 2013

kndeckar:
Sorry but my personal opinion on Gender reveal parties is they are AWish. In my experience, nobody cares as much about the sex of your baby as you do. They may pretend to, but they don't. Trust me.

And I've never heard the term Team Sneaky before, but I think I understand it. I don't see a problem with keeping it a secret at all, I just think it would be a LOT of work to try to keep something from slipping!

I think it must depend on your relationships with people. I am genuinely escatic to find out what my friends and family are having! Like thrilled! If its a girl, that's another lifelong playmate for my daughter, if its a boy then I get to buy clothes for their kid that I don't buy for my DD, like polo rompers and cute boy stuff.

We weren't going to have friends come to our party but when they found out we were having one, they all asked/invited themselves. Everyone at the party was either pregnant or just had a kid that year, so it was relatable to them.
ETA: wow I sound defensive, not my intention, just showing a different view on the subject.

DemoDoll · May 2013

macylynn27:
marlyjane:
Although I love planning, I think the DH and I would prefer to be team green... it's just so classic (and increasingly uncommon) to find out what the baby is at birth. Plus - if we can get pregnant - we do want more than one kid. So keeping the newborn stuff neutral makes sense to me: hand-me-downs.
Thankfully I've never had to go to the gender reveal party - I've only seen them on Facebook. If we found out the sex, there's no way that would happen - I avoid parties that involve myself at all costs. Even though whole baby shower idea makes my skin crawl - although it would be nice to get *stuff*, and I love being around my friends... I hate being the center of attention. I would imagine that I would like it even less if I were pregnant, ha.
The last gender reveal party I saw on Facebook was on Sunday. The mom and dad had the doc write the gender of the baby on a piece of paper and put it in an envelope. They took it to a floral shop with instructions to bring blue or pink balloons - so at the reveal party, even the mom and dad were finding out for the first time. Still haven't decided if that was neat or weird.
I do love the pictures of the parents finding out for the first time. My favorite is a couple who opened a box of balloons (they didn't know what color was going to come out) and out came pink! The look on their faces was priceless. The next frame they were hugging and crying and so happy.
I'm a photographer though, so I probably enjoy looking at any and all photographs more than the average person does. 

I love revealing that way too!! It is so cute! There was a bumpie on my BMB that did that with her DH and DD and it was the cutest picture I've seen!

kleigh926 · May 2013

Gender reveal parties aren't our style, so we would never have one. But I don't side-eye them for other people, and I think I'd have fun going to one.

We were Team Green with DD and DH wants to be TG again with the next kid. I'd like to find out next time though. I have thought about being Team Sneaky and just me knowing the sex, but I think that would be awfully hard to keep from DH for 20+ weeks of pregnancy. So I don't know what we'll do. But basically, I think it's no one else's business what you choose to do regarding finding out the sex of the baby.

PreDempsey · May 2013

I think we'll do one because I really like dinner parties, cake, and surprises.

bornmommy · May 2013

krptcmschfmkr128:
JulianneJacks:
DemoDoll:
ramfan05:
My guess is that people consider it flame worthy because it is AWish. I just say to each her own, we are team green anyway! If someone wants to celebrate, let them celebrate!nbsp;Also, I don't know what team sneaky is. I must've missed that in the other post. Please enlighten me!nbsp;
It where the parents find out what they are having and don't tell people. I've heard both ways where people know you are team sneaky or people still think you are team green. We will be acting like we are team green. We will never tell people we knew, even after the baby is born.
Do you really think you're not going to let it slip by referring to the baby as him or her after you know?
Even before they find out the sex, most people end up referring to the baby as "him" or "her." It gets weird to continually refer to the baby as "it."

Totally agree. We didn't know DS's sex and I would switch him and her when talking to people. Or just say "the baby" and eventually he became "little turtle."

Here's an early UO. I love GRPs. If they are done tastefully (only invite family and good friends, no gifts, serve dinner, maybe a couple games etc.) I think they are fun! Its just another excuse for a party. Who doesn't like getting together with good food, good drinks, and good people?

[Deleted User] · May 2013

I totally misunderstood what flameable meant in that other post.. rofl. Don't ask me what I was thinking because I have no idea.. I won't make that mistake again though Embarrassed

[Deleted User] · May 2013

kndeckar:
Sorry but my personal opinion on Gender reveal parties is they are AWish. In my experience, nobody cares as much about the sex of your baby as you do. They may pretend to, but they don't. Trust me. And I've never heard the term Team Sneaky before, but I think I understand it. I don't see a problem with keeping it a secret at all, I just think it would be a LOT of work to try to keep something from slipping!

I went to a gender reveal party a couple of months ago, and it was really exciting! ..but maybe that's just me since I was the only baby crazy person in the room. I'm not sure how everyone else felt, but I had fun

[Deleted User] · May 2013

CLECyclist:
I think they're silly. If you want to do a little photo shoot and post in on FB or in e-mails to people then I think that's better. A party to reveal the sex of the baby seems AW-ish and gift grabby. People will probably ask what the sex of the baby is before you'd have any baby showers, if the word hasn't gotten out by then (if you are finding out).

That is exactly what I want to do. I love taking cute, creative pictures.. and it doesn't make anyone feel obligated to buy a gift, or feel like they can't come to a party because they can't afford one. Plus you'd have a good keepsake I can't wait to do this!

DLpanda08 · May 2013

I give gender reveal parties the side eye when it involves invitations and photo shoots and gifts and inviting lots of non-family members. If you want to do a cake or something with family then I still think it's a bit strange, but less AWish.

To each their own though, and I would never begrudge someone a chance to celebrate.

For me, personally, I'm just a bit weirded out by the idea. I mean, you're basically throwing a party to talk about your child's genitals. Put all the mustaches and bows on the invites you want, but that is really what it boils down to. "Come check out my kid's junk".

I also give side eye to people who post gender reveal ultrasound pictures on FB. If I see one more "all boy!" or "here's the money shot!" post on my news feed I may vomit. Maybe I'm a prude, but I really don't think that is appropriate.

annabenanna · May 2013

When we weren't TTC yet, I would roll my eyes at gender reveal parties, but now that we are TTGP, I don't know... I guess it depends on how it is done.

I don't think the focal point should be trying to guess the baby's sex, but that should just be an added bonus. What I'm trying to say is that the party should be fun for the guests too.

We have a friend who got married when she was 5 months pregnant, their wedding cake was a gender reveal cake. So that kind of was just icing on the cake, you know?

Have you gals seen this one? They used FIREWORKS to reveal the baby's sex. Talk about extravagant! I will say the party was styled beautifully though.

https://blog.hwtm.com/2012/03/countdown-gender-reveal-party/

lmills730 · May 2013

annabenanna:
Have you gals seen this one? They used FIREWORKS to reveal the baby's sex. Talk about extravagant! I will say the party was styled beautifully though.
https://blog.hwtm.com/2012/03/countdown-gender-reveal-party/

Wowzers!!! The Event Professional in my LOVES the styling, what an awesome party....BUT, wow, how extravagant. I can't imagine having that kind of money haha.

EmeJay · May 2013

I had never heard of Gender Reveal party before the rise of Pinterest.I still don't understand how it can be "a thing"?

To each their own I guess.

rockopera · May 2013

I couldn't care less if people do them or not. Whatever floats your boat. But they are absolutely AW moments. Come to my party and be excited for my secret announcement! That's kind of the definition of AW, right?

salt78 · May 2013

I don't think GRPs are AW-y. We would have done a little non-gifty party with family and close friends, but we had a couple minor red flags in an earlier ultrasound and at that point I just wanted to make sure I was having a healthy baby and a party became really unimportant.

Obviously no one else is going to care about the sex of your kid as much as you do. But I still do get excited for my friends when they are finding out and I would love it if one of them had a party to announce it. I would side-eye it if it became a lavish gift giving, professionally photographed occasion. But sure I'd love to come over for some cake and share your happy news.

As far as team "sneaky" is concerned, it's whatever. I don't care what other people do.

DemoDoll · May 2013

salt78:
I don't think GRPs are AWy. We would have done a little nongifty party with family and close friends, but we had a
couple minor red flags in an earlier ultrasound and at that point I just
wanted to make sure I was having a healthy baby and a party became
really unimportant. Obviously no one else
is going to care about the sex of your kid as much as you do. But I
still do get excited for my friends when they are finding out and I
would love it if one of them had a party to announce it. Though I would sideeye it if it became a lavish gift giving, professionally photographed occasion.As far as team "sneaky" is concerned, it's whatever. I don't care what other people do.nbsp;

That actually happened to us too, our u/s was on a Friday and the party was that Saturday. We found out our baby had multiple cysts on her brain and our OB didn't explain anything to us, just said that we needed to go to a specialist for more u/s and testing. I didn't even want the party at the point but all the food was bought and everything so we had it any way. It helped take our mind off the bad news but if the party would have been scheduled later I would have canceled it.

Emerald27 · May 2013

I think gender reveal parties are cute if you have just close family, aka parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, as a way to tell your closest loved ones the sex of the baby at the same time in a fun way. It's also a super sweet excuse to get everyone together for yummy food and to catch up.

On the other hand, if you invite everyone you know, it's kind of silly.

The sneaky stuff is weird to me. That you'd know baby's sex but not share...then again, we are all for keeping names a secret until birth, but that's because we don't want any negative comments about our names in advance. :

annabenanna · May 2013

lmills730:
annabenanna:
Have you gals seen this one? They used FIREWORKS to reveal the baby's sex. Talk about extravagant! I will say the party was styled beautifully though.
https://blog.hwtm.com/2012/03/countdown-gender-reveal-party/
Wowzers!!! The Event Professional in my LOVES the styling, what an awesome party....BUT, wow, how extravagant. I can't imagine having that kind of money haha.

I know it. Did you see the clocks? *drool* They did it on NYE, so they did the whole countdown and at midnight the fireworks. Such a clever idea. Obviously, the mom & dad are high rollers.

Blissed+Out · May 2013

I think we will have one because one business we own is a photo booth company. Since we have a photo booth set up in our basement at all times for training purposes I thought it would be really cool to incorporate that in to the party and have guests take pictures in the booth with their guess at the sex of the baby use a chalk board to write on or lips/mustaches. I just thought that would be a really fun way to guess for the guests and for us to have a scrap book of the party :

salt78 · May 2013

lmills730:
annabenanna:
Have you gals seen this one? They used FIREWORKS to reveal the baby's sex. Talk about extravagant! I will say the party was styled beautifully though.
https://blog.hwtm.com/2012/03/countdown-gender-reveal-party/
Wowzers!!! The Event Professional in my LOVES the styling, what an awesome party....BUT, wow, how extravagant. I can't imagine having that kind of money haha.

Was "Hollistyn" their girl name choice? Holy hell that's awful.

jaytee16 · May 2013

annabenanna:
Have you gals seen this one? They used FIREWORKS to reveal the baby's sex. Talk about extravagant! I will say the party was styled beautifully though.
https://blog.hwtm.com/2012/03/countdown-gender-reveal-party/

Wow, that seriously looks like a wedding! High rollers, indeed!

For us, I could not see planning a big party, but I could see us having a family dinner and while we're all together, sharing the news if we find out the sex of the baby. (The use of gender in this context irks me insanely...)

ETA: I would like to do a cool photo announcement to email extended family or share on FB - I am a sucker for those!

wifeofafarmer · May 2013

I've been to a couple of GRPs (family & really close friends) and we were never asked to bring gifts - in fact it was clearly stated that no gifts. We all wore what color we thought it would be. The entire group took a pic together, then the 'pinks', then the 'blues' and then the couple cut the cake and we had dessert. It was just fun to sit around and talk, laugh and eat together. If we were able to do plan a GRP, I would do something like that - no gifts, no decorations just the most important stuff - our family & friends.

bumpuser5823822 · May 2013

DemoDoll:
kndeckar:
Sorry but my personal opinion on Gender reveal parties is they are AWish. In my experience, nobody cares as much about the sex of your baby as you do. They may pretend to, but they don't. Trust me. And I've never heard the term Team Sneaky before, but I think I understand it. I don't see a problem with keeping it a secret at all, I just think it would be a LOT of work to try to keep something from slipping!
I think it must depend on your relationships with people. I am genuinely escatic to find out what my friends and family are having! Like thrilled! If its a girl, that's another lifelong playmate for my daughter, if its a boy then I get to buy clothes for their kid that I don't buy for my DD, like polo rompers and cute boy stuff. We weren't going to have friends come to our party but when they found out we were having one, they all asked/invited themselves. Everyone at the party was either pregnant or just had a kid that year, so it was relatable to them. ETA: wow I sound defensive, not my intention, just showing a different view on the subject.

This goes for me too! I think it is so fun to guess the sex. I actually get kind of bummed when all I get is a text message. I guess I just like a little bit more excitement in my life! haha

I also think that each family is different. I know that no one will care what the sex is more than us, but my parents are going to be right behind us. My mother will be up my butt trying to get me to spill the beans. I also think that my family will really get on board with the GRP but DHs side won't be nearly as excited but it is whatever. I wouldn't not invite them just because they don't like to throw parties like we do. (They don't even really get into birthday parties for their kids).

If they are done there should be no gifts (please no presents just your presence) and you should feed your guests something other than cake. Its an excuse for family to get together, hang out, eat yummy food, and have some fun.

Edited spelling*

Nechie122 · May 2013

I think they're dumb. Everyone says they don't care what they're having as long as the baby is healthy, but then why make a big deal out of something that's seemingly so unimportant?

Like a couple of the PPs, I realized just how dumb they are when I found out at my ANATOMY SCAN, which I refuse to call the gender reveal ultrasound, that my DD would go through life with a heart defect. My sister found out at her anatomy scan that her baby had a condition "not compatible with life."

I love to celebrate things, important things. I love to give gifts! But a baby's sex is not really more than a passing curiosity to me.

JoJo42 · May 2013

Pregnant Women are Smug by Garfunkel and Oates - YouTube

? 2:26? 2:26

www.youtube.com/watch?v=tJRzBpFjJS8

Apr 10, 2009 - Uploaded by rikilind

Riki Lindhome and Kate Micucci sing about smug pregnant women.

i hate this song. Since when are gender-preferences meant to be public knowledge anyway? Yeah, so I can listen to people tell me how 'sorry' they are that I got a girl instead of a boy? No thanks, I wouldn't trade my DD for the world.

angelsnight · May 2013

I agree that a GRPs can be AWish but it depends on how you do it. If you invite a bunch of people and/or expect gifts, it's pretty AWish. But if you keep it small and don't expect anything, why not? We had cupcakes made with pink frosting inside....then we went to my inlaws house, then my SIL's and then my brother's with the cupcakes and let them find out the sex by biting into the cupcake.

We ended up just telling my dad over the phone because we weren't sure when we would get to see him next, and he wouldn't care about cupcakes either way. It was a lot of fun, we kept it to immediately family only and everyone loved it.

I don't think there is anything wrong with the parents finding out the sex of their baby and not telling. It's their kid, their decision. BUT, I think it's pretty crappy to tell people you know, but that you're not telling. People are just curious and it's annoying to be told, "well we know but we're not telling". I think it's better to just pretend you don't know, and it will definitely be more peaceful for the parents if they aren't harrassed about it for 20 weeks.

Gender Reveal Party

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Pregnant Women are Smug by Garfunkel and Oates - YouTube

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