Question about dr appt..

Ryanswifey619 · May 2013

I just need some advice...DH cant make our appt on Thursday because of the time. I want to take my mom in his place, but my mil wants to go instead. We get along good, but I just feel better with my mom there. Shes(MIL) already told me multple times that she would like to go. Im not sure what to do here, cause I feel like if I take her, its only because I feel like I have to take her now or get guilt-tripped about it later. Side note, my mom and mil dont get along too well either, so Im afraid that if i take one, the other will get upset and jealous..Thanks for any advice

bowman958 · May 2013

Just out of curiosity - is there something special about this appointment and you would like company? Or do you just prefer to have someone along with you?

If you are able to go by yourself, it might help alleviate any hurt feelings on either side. But if you'd really like to have someone with you as a comfort, take the person you are most comfortable with - sounds like your mom. Have your H speak with your MIL and explain if she makes an issue of it.

skio · May 2013

Don't take either.

Ryanswifey619 · May 2013

Its just going to be a normal regular checkup appt. Usually, DH tries to go, but when he had brought it up that he might not make it-in front of my mil-she immed. asked if she could go, she would go, etc..I dont mind going by myself, I just dont know how to approach this so she doesnt get upset. We did take my mom to an appt in Dec, since it was near her bday, and mil brought it up before when I was having a bad day.

Aurora317 · May 2013

bowman958:
Just out of curiosity is there something special about this appointment and you would like company?nbsp; Or do you just prefer to have someone along with you?If you are able to go by yourself, it might help alleviate any hurt feelings on either side.nbsp; But if you'd really like to have someone with you as a comfort, take the person you are most comfortable with sounds like your mom.nbsp; Have your H speak with your MIL and explain if she makes an issue of it.nbsp;

All of this. Go solo, or if there's a reason to have a support person there choose the person who will bring you the most comfort. Letting your MIL guilt you into taking her is just upending the floodgates for more guilt and manipulation after LO arrives.

bowman958 · May 2013

Ryanswifey619:
Its just going to be a normal regular checkup appt. Usually, DH tries to go, but when he had brought it up that he might not make it-in front of my mil-she immed. asked if she could go, she would go, etc..I dont mind going by myself, I just dont know how to approach this so she doesnt get upset. We did take my mom to an appt in Dec, since it was near her bday, and mil brought it up before when I was having a bad day.

I would go alone, and I wouldn't bring it up with her or in front of her again.

santoriello21 · May 2013

If it means that much for her to go I would take her. She may want to hear the heartbeat.

periwinklebloom · May 2013

Does your MIL try to guilt trip you into things a lot? If yes, stick to your guns. If not, I would just let her go, since it seems to mean a lot to her. Since it's just a regular check up, you'll be done quickly.

Stensgard · May 2013

You mentioned that you get along well, is it really a big deal to take her to what is probably going to be a 30 minute appointment? I don't know about anyone else, but my regular checkups are very uneventful, not sure why anyone but me would even be interested.

CindyRelluh · May 2013

If its just a regular check up, there's no reason to have someone with you. DH has come to two ultrasounds this pregnancy and that's it, I see no reason dragging someone along to a "Hey how are ya? Here's the hb, see ya later" appointment.

AZMagnini14 · May 2013

skio:
Don't take either.

Agreed. I go to most solo because of DHs work schedule. No need for more people in the room. Appts are 10 minutes.

Ryanswifey619 · May 2013

Yeah, I was thinking of just going alone since its just going to be a quick 10min appt. I didn't really see any reason to bring anyone with, but unfortunately, mil overheard me talk to DH about it and kept going on and on. When I had said I might just go alone, she kinda sulked about it. I just don't see it making sense for both her and i to both miss work for a regular checkup.

JaimeCH · May 2013

Are they testing for GBS at this appointment? I wouldn't want MIL there for that. You could always still use that as an excuse if they are not.

913mom · May 2013

Go by yourself... you are a big girl.. you will be okay.

dontgiveupnomatterwhat · May 2013

Go alone.

...I enjoy going alone...that way I'm the only one who hears my weight.

logoz80 · May 2013

this

[Deleted User] · May 2013

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logoz80 · May 2013

My husband went to every appt with our first and even he said that almost all were a waste of time except for that first ultrasound and the 2 that followed. The other appointments are barely 5 minutes long and not necessary to have company. I take my 2 year old to my appts and that is hard, but it's easier alone

cwhitloc · May 2013

I go alone. I don't want my husband knowing how much I weigh. ;

PrimRoseMama · May 2013

skio:
Don't take either.

Yup. Bring a friend or something. Seriously, easiest most drama-free answer.

brauchtm · May 2013

I am always baffled by people who bring there whole families to a dr appt - not an ultrasound - just an appt. last week a woman had 7 people with her - they didn't even all fit in the room. Anyway, tell mil thanks but your all set and go in your own.

Eleventy11 · May 2013

913mom:
Go by yourself... you are a big girl.. you will be okay.

This.

CindyRelluh · May 2013

dontgiveupnomatterwhat:
Go alone. ...I enjoy going alone...that way I'm the only one who hears my weight.

I literally LOL'ed.

AnnaWhite89 · May 2013

This. And this. Like, lets noooooot say any numbers aloud, ok?! People can hear you! Ha! And if they do accidentally slip, I always shoot my hubby the, 'you didnt hear that' stare or tell him to erase his memory! As though he cares...

My friend took her MIL to her first appt...where she was asked questions about her sexual history. I would have been like, just give me the paper to make this less heinously awkward.

[Deleted User] · May 2013

Why would your MIL even want to go...strange. My fianc?s mom wouldn't even consider asking...I just know she wouldn't. How awkward. I go to most of my appointments alone b/c it's easier that way and then I can go shop or do whatever I want afterwards:)

Stardust54 · May 2013

I agree it's wierd she wants to go to a 5 min check up so badly. Go solo

megaroo64 · May 2013

Go alone. If you really need someone there, I would suggest not making a decision based on guilt.

PS. I go alone to almost ALL of my appointments (my H only comes to ultrasounds). There is rarely anything really to see.

kremerks · May 2013

Take neither, I have gone alone for all my appointments with all three of my kids. My husband only attended the 8 week and 20 week ultrasounds with 1st, 8 week with 2nd and none with this one, lol. He had work commitments and I didn't want him taking off work just to go. I guess it's not a big deal to me and the normal visits are boring and quick anyway, no point in him going or anyone else for that matter.

mrsf123 · May 2013

lajack:
You mentioned that you get along well, is it really a big deal to take her to what is probably going to be a 30 minute appointment? I don't know about anyone else, but my regular checkups are very uneventful, not sure why anyone but me would even be interested.

Half the time, I don't even want to go to my own dr appointments. LOL. They're so uneventful.

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