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Working Moms
GreenMonkey1
member
DC & the Non-Squeaky Wheel (My Child) - WWYD
GreenMonkey1
member
in Working Moms
DC called yesterday at 4 pm to tell me DS hadn't taken a bottle all day (by 4 he was on bottle #3, he eats every 3-4ish hours) - which meant he had nothing except probably 5ish ounces of solids since 6:15 (and maybe a few cheerios).
When I went to pick him up, the classroom teacher said he ended up taking a bottle at 4:15ish (so 10-hours since he last had breastmilk), but the one teacher had to hold him. I inquired as to how they had tried to feed him the other bottles - they put him in a high chair (they have ones similar to the wood ones at restaurants except with trays) or in a swing.
The teacher told me that them feeding DS really isn't an option because it is "too hard with the other babies". They didn't have an alternative - so basically DS at a little shy of 10-months either feeds himself or he goes hungry (that is how I left feeling).
I'm going to call the Director today and inquire as to alternatives in the event this happens again. Right now I feel that unless DS is screaming, the teachers aren't too worried - which I get (he isn't the only baby int he room), but I don't get not trying something else so that he eats. 10-hours, in my opinion, is too long to go without breastmilk (or formula). Thankfully it isn't 100 degrees yet or I would really have to worry about dehydration, but those days are not too far away.
I'm not freaking out, but my DH and I have decided this center may not be the right fit for us. We don't have any comparison though, so I'm curious as to others' thoughts.
A) In your experience, or in your opinion, should the DC have called earlier?
Is this normal, kiddos not eating for 10-hours unless they feed themselves?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: DC & the Non-Squeaky Wheel (My Child) - WWYD
I trust my dc teachers to do the right thing and thankfully dd is fairly easy going. But if she isn't eating or drinking I would expect them to keep trying and not just give up because it is too hard for them to hold a baby.
I agree with PP. At that age LO was expected to hold his own bottle but they started working with him on it at a much earlier age.
Some days LO's have off days at daycare... so one day not drinking would not concern me as much as multiple days in a row.
I would ask what they are doing to teach LO to hold his own bottle and if they have any suggestions for your to work with him at home. I would express my concern and find a happy medium that they let him try alone for a bit but then hold the bottle for him.
My kiddo never held his own bottle. He adopted sippy cups early though, maybe you could try giving him sippy cups with handles?
Either way, that's too long to go without milk. Ask the teachers how you can help avoid it in the future.
MMC 3.30.16
I have a Daughter born 2/26/2013. She is pretty much amazing!
BFP 11/09 - DD 7/10 - BFP 8/11 - M/C 9/11 - BFP 6/12 - DD - 2/13
My Ovulation Chart
My DD refused her dinner last night. They tried 3 different times to give it to her, then, since I didn't have a backup jar of food, like i usually do, they resorted to giving her some oatmeal. We figured out later it was because she had a big lunch. She just wasn't hungry yet.
The point is, they tried 3 times to feed her what I sent. They should make an effort, especially if it's been 10 hours!
A) yes! My DC has a rule that an infant cannot go without a bottle more than 3 hours. They have a white board to mark when each baby's last bottle was and when their next one is scheduled. Admittedly, a bottle may be small if you know that your LO is on solids and is eating well, but they must get a bottle every 3 hours. At 4 hours, my daycare has been known to give me a heads up, but they also will tell me if he's been eating his solids as well and I can decide if something needs to be done. Also all infants are held during bottle feedings.
The excuse of "too hard with the other babies" doesn't fly with me at all. What happens if all the infants in the room are under 4 months and are incapable of feeding themselves?
I would be super pissed and would find a new DC. Honestly, their response would annoy me more than LO actually not taking a bottle. Saying "It's not an option to feed your LO." And "too hard with the other babies" is not an acceptable answer to give to a concerned parent. To me those responses kind of sound like they don't even want to try to fix the problem.
after anovulatory diagnosis and TTC for 1 1/2yrs with several medicated cycles and one chemical pregnancy, we have our first bundle of joy!
IT'S A GIRL!
#2 EDD 2/5/13 dx with anti-BIG E antibody, seeing a MFM
I don't take one single minute for granted.
my DC has the same rule. All babies held while fed until they can sit at a little table and fed themselves at whatever age the baby reaches that point.
I would be looking elsewhere. What's the ratio? How do they not have time to help feed your baby? Lazy? Incompetent? There is no good answer for that behavior. Good luck.
Thank you so much for all of your thoughts and responses, it helps to know I'm not being irrational.
DS wouldn't take the bottle from the teachers again this morning so DH (he works locally) went over and fed him, DS had no problem taking the bottle. My husband did say the room was a zoo when he got there and quieted down by the time he left.
I called the Director and expressed my concerns. There does not appear to be any sort of policy such as those people mentioned. The Director was soothing and did say that there are all sorts of people who could come down and help with feeding, including herself and the Asst. Director. She told me the teacher cares about DS and was probably just frustrated. We all get frustrated, I work with students (although not infants) and there are days I just want to say "tough shift" to my problem students - but I don't because (a) I am a professional and (b) that's not good for the students.
The Director is going to go down for the next two feedings and observe as well as reinforce to the teachers to call the office if/when they need help.
I guess my immediate concerns were addressed, although I now have in the back of my mind that my non-squeaky wheel kiddo is going to get the shaft (this is the second time we've had an issue with feeding due to him being overall pretty chill). I do think we are going to look for a different center. What I like about this center might not make up for what I don't like. We'll still get most of that (although the enrichment stuff as DS gets older will probably cost) at one of the chain centers and perhaps with less of the communication/staffing problems we've experienced.
I hope the bottle strike is just a phase, but the response from the teachers is what concerns me. Working with infants probably is rife with frustration and the solution cannot be to do nothing.
This- I'm not sure what their reasoning for "not having enough time" at 10 months old the ratio is still 1:4, same as an infant, and they are required to hold infants while feeding them bottles (propping bottles up is against regulations). Even though many 10 month olds are holding their bottles, not all are. My children only took bottles while I was at work (BF at home) so they were only used to having 2-3 bottles a day which isn't a ton of practice. Even when they did somewhat hold the bottle the person feeding them was holding them, they weren't in a high chair, swing etc.
I hope whatever you decide works out.
In my state, it's actually a law that infants under 6mo have to be held to be fed. I know that doesn't apply to your DS now, but there it is. Any state-licensed center also has to adhere to the 4:1 child teacher ratio. That's still a lot, but it's not completely unmanageable when kids need to be fed. My center has 4 high chairs lined up next to one another so one teacher can manage 4 at a time, if necessary. There are quite a few still in the "infant" room who are 12-16mo who still sit in the high chairs for breakfast. They don't just wander around the room with a bottle.
The teachers at my DC have told me that drop-off and pick-up times can be a zoo and can really disturb the rhythm of the room, but that's no excuse for not making an effort to ensure a child is fed.
This. That answer is rediculous. What that says to me is they are telling you they can't hold your baby. What is wrong with them?
TBH, this would lead me put my kid in a different care setting. Whether it's daycare policy or state law, IMO holding a baby to feed them a bottle is a basic part of caring for an infant same as changing a diaper regularly.
Granted, a 10m old child holding their own bottle is different from propping a 3m old but I can't imagine they are adequately staffed if they don't have 10mins over the course of 10 hours to pick your kid up and give him a bottle. This just leads me to question what else are they neglecting? Are the babies just sitting in various containers (bouncy seats/high chair/etc) all day?
exactly! took the words right out of my mouth!
Daycare feeds my 16 month old his bottle while holding him. Always. Yeah I know he should be off bottles but I just weaned off breastfeeding at 14 months and I didn't want to traumatize him. Anyway, all of the other babies are still on bottles at his daycare and they always hold all of them.
A) Bottle propping or making a baby feed himself at 10 months is unacceptable. What are your state child to teacher ratios? Here it is 4 kids per every 1 teacher. Sounds like they are stretching that. They shouldn't have called earlier, it sounds like they should have picked him up and tried to give him a bottle earlier. I would be more concerned that he isn't getting held enough. They should hold him more than when he is just getting a bottle but it sounds like they're not even doing that.
I just saw your post, and haven't read the replies. But in my state (TN) the childcare center regulations state that babies must be held while feeding bottles up to 1 year of age.
DS started refusing bottles around 10-10.5 months; it was the beginning of self-weaning. When that started, he definitely had days where he had only solids (plus water) between 5 or 6 a.m. and 6 p.m. He nursed at bedtime and during the night. He would drink water or cow's milk from a sippy (but not BM or formula). It was an adjustment, but the upside was that he was off bottles by 1 year.