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Toddlers: 24 Months+
Meltdowns
I only lurk on here occasionally, so please forgive me if this is posted all of the time. My DS is 27 months old and is having major meltdowns, sometimes for no apparant reason to either DH or myself. For example, last night he had a total meltdown/ crying fit over the fact that he could not have teddy grahams instead of dinner. I know there are even more arbitrary examples. I diluted his oj with water, he doesn't want to put on a diaper, etc.. The list goes on and on. Please tell me someone else is going through this. His daycare provider says that he never behaves that way with her, which makes me feel awful, even though I am glad he is behaving while there. I don't want him to be upset and crying over something half the night.
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Re: Meltdowns
Most toddlers do this. Have you seen this website? A guy just takes a picture every time his kid is crying over something silly and random. Might make you feel better!
https://reasonsmysoniscrying.tumblr.com/
I think this is all just a part of being a toddler and eventually they'll grow out of it. Good luck!
He acts this way around you because he knows you will love him unconditionally, so the fact that he doing this with you is nothing to feel awful about, it's good
When DD starts to melt down I always go through a mental checklist to make sure she isn't tired or hungry. Not always but a lot of times one of those two things will trigger it. So I try to make sure she doesn't get too tired or overly hungry. Like I've started giving her a morning snack which seems to be helping.
Anyway, we try to do a lot with choices. So, "Do you want to pick a spot to change your diaper or should mommy?" "Do you want to help mommy put the water in the cup with OJ or should mommy do it?" It kind of turns a switch in their mind so they are not so focused on what they can't control, but rather what they can.
I also try to say 'yes' as often as possible. DD may ask me for a cup of milk with lunch (she only gets water with meals), so I might say something like, "Yes, you can have a cup of milk when you wake up from your nap." So you might say something like, "Yes, you may have Teddy Grahams tomorrow with lunch."
If I've tried all this and she's being totally unreasonable, I just walk away until she calms down. If she hits me she automatically goes behind the gate. I think sometimes kids just need to 'let it out'. I find that if DD has a good cry she sometimes seems to be better after that. It's a tough age, you are not alone!
Oh wow. That does make me feel better. Thank you for the link!
This is what I usually try. I usually say "Yes, you can have some Teddy Grahams after dinner." Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. Always worth a try though.
yes, yes i am with you! DD is a disaster at times and it could be set off with teddy grahams or not the right cup. i am more in the camp of giving choices and let her have some space vs the discipline camp.
at this age i think alot of it for DD is the fact that her brain is moving faster than her vocabulary can take her to then communicate that she is PO'd about something. She has a good vocab however the wanting something immediatley comes out as a freak out and quickly escalates to a meltdown and here we are again. we are trying to give choices and put words around what the problem is. sometimes it works, other times, she has to pull it together on her own.
From dealing with DS who was a bit of a bear at this age, i remind myself that it IS a stage and it WILL pass. Good luck!
I totally agree. DS is actually very advanced verbally but when he gets upset that all goes out the window.
I mostly only lurk here as well. I popped over because we are going through the exact same thing right now. I don't really have any advice because we are working our way through it as well. But it's nice to know I'm not the only one and that tumblr link is hilarious and just want I needed.
I keep telling myself it's a phase. But I'm worried because we are expecting again in a few months and I know that will be hard on my son too.
I am right there with you. DD is just a month older than yours and our major/crazy/sound like a possessed child and my head may spin at any moment meltdowns started about a monthish ago. It is INTENSE at times. Our meltdowns usually get triggered when we tell her "no" or ask her to do something she doesn't want to do. She will scream "NO!" at me and we were doing the 1-2-3 counting and I have thrown that crap to the birds. She goes straight to time out, which in turn causes yet another meltdown and she refuses to sit in time out. So into her bedroom she goes where she will throw the mother of all fits at times. However, after a couple minutes I can go in and say "would you like to come sit in time out now, or would you like to continue your fit in here?"... she ALWAYS chooses to sit quietly in time out.
We have tried so many things. I believe some kids are just incredibly stubborn and impulsive at this age. Some things that caused meltdowns in the past were; brushing her teeth, picking up her toys, putting her clothes in the hamper. Simple things I would ask her to do. We recently made a "chore chart" that includes those things plus a couple of tasks she enjoys, like feeding the dog, helping me dust, etc. She now knows if she does those things when asked then at the end of the day she will get stickers on her chart! It has helped a TON!
sschwege - thank you for all of your tips, I will be trying a few of those with DD!
We were also concerned because DD1 (28 months) acts like this a lot. We were honestly wondering if there was something seriously wrong. What her pediatrician said is that as long as they can shut it off when they are at daycare or with a babysitter then it is just a behavioral issue, not an indication of something more serious.
It sounds like PP's provided a lot of good tips. What works (sometimes) for us is to ignore her crazy behavior (because oftentimes she is doing it for attention) and/or remind her of what she needs to do to get something that she wants (this reinforces good behaviors and teaches her that she can control the outcome of some situations).