Oh crap

Sovello · May 2013

So I have one baby, almost a year old. And I just tested positive.

I am really anxious, this was completely unplanned and unexpected. It took us a year to conceive before and we finally did it with Clomid.... and we only hit the sack once around the time it could have happened... argh! I just didn't think I HAD to be that careful given I'm still breastfeeding and how hard it was before!

Now I am freaking out because, if this happens, I will have a newborn and an 18 month old at the same time... a time when we are scheduled to MOVE TRANSATLANTIC. Literally the due date is right near when we were going to move to England! I have no idea what to do... I am feeling so overwhelmed by all this.

I know we only have ourselves to blame but it just never even crossed my mind. I feel bad talking about this on the other boards because there are so many TTC (I was one of them in 2011) and I know I sounds really ungrateful.

At least DH is happy! By my calculation it can't be more than 4 weeks because we only did it two weeks ago, but I have been getting my periods around once every three weeks, and I have a whole host of AF symptoms (including a regular crash of emotions where I spend the day crying) that were absent, and I had all these cheap P tests still in a drawer, so...

I guess I am posting here because I need to connect with others who have been in this situation. I just feel kind of like my life is over right when I was getting my freedom back. I am a sculptor and work from home, and it was something I was unable to do for months with a colicy, sleep-troubled, reflux baby. The thought of going through pregnancy alone with DD toddling around and then having this newborn, it is just completely horrifying to me right now.

I guess I just needed to vent!

carabear80 · May 2013

I hear ya! I got a surprise BFP at the beginning of this year. We weren't trying but also not preventing. DD#1 and DD#2 will be less than 17 months apart. It's closer than I wanted but now that I'm halfway through this pregnancy, I'm really excited for them to grow up close. I just hope this baby is as good and DD is. She's been so easy so I know I've been lucky.

I tried to prepare myself the week leading up to taking my HPT, asking myself how do I feel about the possibility of being pregnant again so soon. I sort of came to terms with the idea, but was still thinking "holy crap" when it actually came back positive. Poor DH was caught off guard, but was very excited when I told him. Good luck to you. I hope you can be excited and enjoy this pregnancy!

sweetpea2003 · May 2013

Congratulations!

It will be okay. I just found out I am pregnant too (with #3) and due right around the time we are supposed to do a cross country move. It'll all work out! It might be a whirlwind, but we'll both figure it all out .

DisneyFreeek · May 2013

Mine are 11 1/2 months apart exactly. I too knew exactly when we conceived (Christmas morning) because it was the only time in a whole month, so I took it as meant to be! My life is much different than I had pictured it. I am constantly stressed, I never have any time for me, some days I don't get a shower, and I can rarely leave the house without a helper, but I wouldn't have it any other way. If my Mel Mel had never come into my world, I know it wouldn't be complete. Congrats! If I can do it (without going totally insane) anyone can!!!

demmie326 · May 2013

If someone had told me four years ago that one day I would have three LOs close in age I would have never believed them...I was at the height of my career and enjoying parties and vacations. Four years later three LOs is my reality and I have made it work and most days love it. After DD1 was born I was told by four different doctors that I would never had another baby so you can imagine my surprise when I was staring at positive pregnancy test ten months ago.....I said alot more than "Oh Crap" I had a couple of good cries and then decided that I had to adjust my attitude and expectations for myself and for my family. It does get crazy at times but it is totally doable. Personally the adjustment from not being a parent to becoming a parent was the toughest adjustment. While every pregnancy, labor/delivery, and baby is different I at least had some idea of what to expect. And for what its worth each of my LOs was a better sleeper and eater than the one before.

Hang in there and take extra good care of yourself.

Sovello · May 2013

Thank you all so much, you all have no idea (or perhaps you do) of just how much I needed to read all that. I vanished for a few days afraid that my post had been really whiny and might have nasty responses telling me to grow up. Thankyou so much, I really needed this.

I have been taking a HPT every morning and yes, I have been hoping they would get lighter, but today's was almost as dark as the test line.

I think right now I am panicked that I will not be able to cope with morning sickness and DD. We moved to this area just before DD was born and I have had no time to make friends here, I have no family here- that's what we are going to move transatlantic for, so I can be back there with my family, but now I don't know when that will happen now...

I think my main issue is that I was just getting moving with my career again, and was really enjoying that. I was enjoying that DD is almost a year old and we can take her on longer journeys and hiking and cycling... and now it's like I'm back to square one.

I just don't understand how we could spend a year constantly trying, tracking ovulation so carefully, avoiding all these different foods and eating certain others and plying myself with prenatals and in the end using Clomid..... and this happens because we made love once?!?

As inconvenient as this is, it is completely out of the question that I would do anything to stop its progress, so I guess I have to just accept it as meant to be? I love DD to bits and care for her to the best of my ability, but I am NOT one of these super-moms who devotes her entire life to her children. I am selfish, and I want my career and my time... I think that's why this is so hard for me to accept. I hadn't given the possibility of another child much thought BECAUSE I didn't think it would happen.... but I've had plenty of time to think about it now!

Anyway, I mainly just wanted to say thankyou for your kind responses

pinkypinklolly · May 2013

I totally understand what you are feeling. We had a surprise BFP early this year too. We weren't trying or preventing. But like you, we had to use clomid and the HCG shot for me to even ovulate. It took us 1 1/2 years of trying on our own and about 4 months with help before we got pregnant with our daughter.

I freaked out and so did DH when we first found out, but now we are both happy about it. Just think, this little one is a blessing and all will work out. I have a home daycare and I had just opened it in January. I was totally afraid to tell the parents that I was pregnant already. Luckily they've decided to keep their kids with me til I have the baby.

chicsahm · May 2013

You will get through 1st tri... you just do somehow! DS watched more TV shows then I like to say during this time, as I had such a lack of energy, felt sick, etc. I slept whenever DS did and let the housework (and cooking) go. DH helped a lot and we ordered out, DH would cook or get his own food. You just get through each day and then 2nd tri hits... YEAH! You can do it... it will suck at times... but it is amazing how much you suck it up and just do.

blablabalala · May 2013

I just want to reassure you, as all of these women have spoken about, it's perfectly normal to freak out about being pregnant again. I freaked out at first and didn't know it was normal so I felt guilty about it and went into this downward spiral into depression because I wasn't as thrilled about this pregnancy as the first one. Take that burden off, and just trust that it will all work out. You get to have another baby!!

katiesuzanne · May 2013

I saw the title of your post "oh crap" and I have to say I can relate. We're currently living with my parents as we close on our house, have a 10-month-old, and I'm pretty positive I'm pregnant with #2. I'm a little irked that I'll be having a winter baby and having 3 months off in the winter, but such is life.

Having 2 under 2 will be a task indeed, but I have a wonderful hands-on husband who is my biggest blessing.

I wouldn't say you're a selfish mom- you're just a mom who takes care of yourself as well as you do your children. I'm the same way. My kid is happy and so am I. I'm sure it'll get harder with #2, but those kisses and smiles will make the hard times worth it. And hey- #1 will have a new friend to play with. They'll entertain themselves with each other eventually, which really will make our jobs easier. We just have to wait a few years for it!

Blessings, Katie.

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