I have seriously had it. Diapers, Potty Training, it's all a huge fail.

AnabelsMama · May 2013

My LO is 2 years 8 months. She kicks and screams and violently resists getting her diaper changed. She does the same thing when I suggest using the potty. She's used it and knows how, but refuses. I went through a week of forcing her to try the potty and she turned into a raging you-know-what.

I'm reading books on potty training. She comes in the bathroom with me every time I use it and knows how everything works. I know she's ready, and her doctor even said that she's more than ready. The only suggestion the doctor had was to have play dates with kids who are her age and potty trained. Two problems--I rarely have time for play dates, and I seriously do not know anyone with 2-3-year-old potty trained kids.

I know she is an impulsive and spirited child, but why must she resist everything? This summer she's just running around naked, I swear. I can't handle much more.

superaunt · May 2013

I know this won't help me saying this but... when it clicks, it clicks. she will not go to college in diapers.

my girl was the same way. she was more than ready, showing signs and communicating at 2. she just was never consistent and often was very much refusing to sit on the potty. if I had her in undies, she'd pee in them and not say a word. she just didn't seem to care even though she understood what was going on. finally I told her that she couldn't get a big girl bed till we were able to stop buying pull-ups. that went on for a couple months. then about a month after turning three, I had a long weekend and told her that I was no longer going to ask her to go potty, but that there would be no more pull ups. I told her she was a big girl and she needed to start listening to her body and going potty in the toilet and not her pants when she had to. she had a gazillion accidents which she had to clean up. she missed a ballet class cuz she peed herself before we left. the next day was better. i downloaded POTTY TIME app on my phone and that helped IMMENSELY. by the following week she was going by herself. she's completely trained now.

long story short: hang in there. give both you and her a break. try again in a month or so. she'll get it. I know it's SO DANG frustrating right now.

TriciaandSean · May 2013

My son is not potty trained and we are not actively potty training but what we do so that he is comfortable with the potty is change his diaper in the bathroom, with him standing up and encourage, but not force, him to sit on the potty before we put his new diaper on. If he goes in the potty he gets a sticker. Then we put a new diaper on.

He doesn't let us know when he has to go or even when he has gone, sometimes he will for poop, but not usually. For now I'm just glad he's comfortable sitting on his little potty. I usually have to give him a book to read, move the potty in front of the tv or read to him to sit long enough to poop.

I do admit I've had help from daycare and when they first got him used to sitting on the potty he would refuse so they just kept taking him in when other kids sat on it so he was used to seeing them sit on the potty.

Good luck.

AnabelsMama · May 2013

Thank you thank you thank you! If she wasn't so violently opposed to getting her diaper changed, I wouldn't be so obsessed with potty training this early. She can take her diapers, and pull-ups, off and on herself but simply refuses, and I can't figure out why she hates it so much. I ask and she won't tell me.

AnabelsMama · May 2013

I definitely do not force it at all anymore. A book I am reading suggests simply inviting them into the bathroom with you when you go and ask them to "keep you company" or something along those lines. Doesn't work. She just wants to watch me. Rewards are a joke with my daughter! Even big ones don't work!

She does hide or tell us to go away when she poops. She has pooped once on the potty, and more than a few times has peed on it voluntarily, exactly when she knows she needs to go.

I know it has to be on her own time to use the potty regularly. But I don't like being kicked when she needs her diaper changed.

hoping4sticky · May 2013

AnabelsMama:
Thank you thank you thank you! If she wasn't so violently opposed to getting her diaper changed, I wouldn't be so obsessed with potty training this early. She can take her diapers, and pull-ups, off and on herself but simply refuses, and I can't figure out why she hates it so much. I ask and she won't tell me.

Just a guess, but I don't think she 'hates' it, she just enjoys your reaction and getting a rise out of you. I know that they are not recommended but after a long story and some back and forth, we wound up in pullups. In your case, I would probably go with pullups or trainers (better for feeling wet, but much messier) and completely remove any struggle around diapers/potty. When we stopped asking DD if she had to go and focused on the independence that PTing brought it was like magic (and her behavior improved).

I would put a stool and a potty ring on a toliet and let her know that she knows what to do and can go whenever she wants - and then don't ask her if she needs to go potty. When we switched to underwear we would occasionally remind her to keep her underwear dry and stinky free (poop took a few weeks after pee) but that was all. If she goes in her pullup no big deal, change her. If she starts freaking out calmly tell her that she is welcome to change her pullup off herself in the bathroom and I would leave her alone. Once it isn't a power struggle she will eventually get tired of sitting in a dirty pullup.

PTing was so far the most difficult thing for us, but I think it is because so many people tout the 1 or 3 day method and if they are ready it is easy. I think it is easy for some and not for many many others. It took DD about a month and a half to be pee trained excluding nap and night. About 2 months for poop and 2.5 for completely day including naps. But she was fully trained before 2.5, I count that as an overall success even if it took longer than a week.

AnabelsMama · May 2013

hoping4sticky:
AnabelsMama:
Thank you thank you thank you! If she wasn't so violently opposed to getting her diaper changed, I wouldn't be so obsessed with potty training this early. She can take her diapers, and pull-ups, off and on herself but simply refuses, and I can't figure out why she hates it so much. I ask and she won't tell me.

Just a guess, but I don't think she 'hates' it, she just enjoys your reaction and getting a rise out of you. I know that they are not recommended but after a long story and some back and forth, we wound up in pullups. In your case, I would probably go with pullups or trainers (better for feeling wet, but much messier) and completely remove any struggle around diapers/potty. When we stopped asking DD if she had to go and focused on the independence that PTing brought it was like magic (and her behavior improved).

I would put a stool and a potty ring on a toliet and let her know that she knows what to do and can go whenever she wants - and then don't ask her if she needs to go potty. When we switched to underwear we would occasionally remind her to keep her underwear dry and stinky free (poop took a few weeks after pee) but that was all. If she goes in her pullup no big deal, change her. If she starts freaking out calmly tell her that she is welcome to change her pullup off herself in the bathroom and I would leave her alone. Once it isn't a power struggle she will eventually get tired of sitting in a dirty pullup.

PTing was so far the most difficult thing for us, but I think it is because so many people tout the 1 or 3 day method and if they are ready it is easy. I think it is easy for some and not for many many others. It took DD about a month and a half to be pee trained excluding nap and night. About 2 months for poop and 2.5 for completely day including naps. But she was fully trained before 2.5, I count that as an overall success even if it took longer than a week.

Thank you!

I have completely stopped reacting to her refusing to change her diaper. We have both diapers and pull-ups and she treats them the same. Very often I will tell her she can't leave the bathroom or her room until she is willing to change her diaper, no matter how it gets accomplished--standing up, on the floor, I really don't care. She will seriously sit in a poopy diaper for hours if it means she doesn't have to get changed. I am almost positive that she hates diaper changes (and yes, I know she hates it) because it interrupts her activity. But even if I let her continue doing what she is ding and change her in the middle of it, she resists.

The tough part is in the morning when we have to leave the house by a certain time. Lately I've sent her to my mom's house in a dirty overnight diaper.

lovemyminions · May 2013

One word...bribery. Our little one, if she goes pee on the potty gets a chocolate kiss as a reward. (she loves chocolate, and this is the only time she gets it) To entice her to use the potty, I will say..'do you want a chocolate kiss). Also unwrapping the kiss keeps her busy while I put a fresh diaper on)

Also for just a diaper change give her something fun to play with while the change is happen. LO gets the ipad to play a game on...(she doesn't get the ipad very often, as we limit screen time.) Good luck!

hoping4sticky · May 2013

AnabelsMama:
hoping4sticky:

AnabelsMama:

Thank you!

I have completely stopped reacting to her refusing to change her diaper. We have both diapers and pull-ups and she treats them the same. Very often I will tell her she can't leave the bathroom or her room until she is willing to change her diaper, no matter how it gets accomplished--standing up, on the floor, I really don't care. She will seriously sit in a poopy diaper for hours if it means she doesn't have to get changed. I am almost positive that she hates diaper changes (and yes, I know she hates it) because it interrupts her activity. But even if I let her continue doing what she is ding and change her in the middle of it, she resists.

The tough part is in the morning when we have to leave the house by a certain time. Lately I've sent her to my mom's house in a dirty overnight diaper.

I would show her how to take off her pull up, flush the poop, put the pullup in the trash and call you to help wipe. And then next time I would tell her - you know how to do this, call me when you need help, and I would leave the bathroom. It will probably result in a mess, but I really think that it will get her over the hump and once she isn't fighting any more you can try to ditch the pull ups.

ThatWasAHoot · May 2013

My son has been potty trained for a few months now. One thing that really helped him was that we took a giant poster board and put his name on it in glittery markers or paint or something. We printed a whole bunch of his favorite characters and things he likes off and put them onto the board, too, and every time he went potty, we made a huuuge deal about it. We let him choose a sticker of something he likes (Thomas, pirates, Toy Story, etc) and every time he went he got to put a sticker on the board.
We used the 3 day method and it worked really well. Though with that, you take away all diapers and don't give them a choice.
GL

AnabelsMama · May 2013

Thanks to all of you. I'll try some of these methods!

I've already pulled out the big guns re: bribery-- stickers, band-aids, ice cream, videos, cupcakes, etc. She is immune to it completely. I haven't yet tried getting her to do things herself on a regular basis. I think she'd just sit in the bathroom in her dirty diaper and get into mischief!!

sschwege · May 2013

fredalina:
Actually that may not be such a bad idea. Honestly it sounds like she is resisting because it's a power play and she's being forced. Find a way to keep her and the house clean but also give it over to her. Maybe it's as simple as pull ups where she can change herself, or naked bum with a potty in the living room, or being in panties until she needs to go and then asking for a diaper. Whatever works for her, and lets you become less invested.

I agree turn it over to her!

TiffanyBerry · May 2013

She may be physically ready, but she's clearly not mentally ready.

DD is similar (about not being ready to potty train). She's physically ready. But mentally, she associates potty training with being a big girl and no longer being able to nurse. Which she doesn't want to happen. So she doesn't want to potty train.

Can you talk to your LO and find out if she can convey why she doesn't want to use the potty or the diaper changes? At the end of the day, it's kind of her choice - diaper or potty, but she has to pick one.

PayolaCrayola · May 2013

AnabelsMama:

Thanks to all of you. I'll try some of these methods!

I've already pulled out the big guns re: bribery-- stickers, band-aids, ice cream, videos, cupcakes, etc. She is immune to it completely. I haven't yet tried getting her to do things herself on a regular basis. I think she'd just sit in the bathroom in her dirty diaper and get into mischief!!

Your DD sounds just like mine! My DD is younger but she is crazy stubborn and I tell DH at least once a day "but why must she fight us on every single thing?!" She is verbal so she knows when she is peeing...she says Hot! and points but Ive tried sitting her on the potty and she says "pp mommy?" then just sits there laughing and jumps off and doesnt want her diaper back on. She pooped once on the potty but then fought me to clean her. Yesterday I was forced to also leave her in a poop diaper because she wouldnt let me change her but also wouldnt get in her carseat to leave the parking lot. 20min later she was finally in the seat and crying "Poop Mom...stinky" and I just had to tell her "I know but now you have to wait next time you let Mom change you". Its terribly frustrating.

AnabelsMama · May 2013

PayolaCrayola:
AnabelsMama:

Thanks to all of you. I'll try some of these methods!

I've already pulled out the big guns re: bribery-- stickers, band-aids, ice cream, videos, cupcakes, etc. She is immune to it completely. I haven't yet tried getting her to do things herself on a regular basis. I think she'd just sit in the bathroom in her dirty diaper and get into mischief!!

Your DD sounds just like mine! My DD is younger but she is crazy stubborn and I tell DH at least once a day "but why must she fight us on every single thing?!" She is verbal so she knows when she is peeing...she says Hot! and points but Ive tried sitting her on the potty and she says "pp mommy?" then just sits there laughing and jumps off and doesnt want her diaper back on. She pooped once on the potty but then fought me to clean her. Yesterday I was forced to also leave her in a poop diaper because she wouldnt let me change her but also wouldnt get in her carseat to leave the parking lot. 20min later she was finally in the seat and crying "Poop Mom...stinky" and I just had to tell her "I know but now you have to wait next time you let Mom change you". Its terribly frustrating.

Yes, sounds just like my daughter!!

AnabelsMama · May 2013

TiffanyBerry:
She may be physically ready, but she's clearly not mentally ready.
DD is similar (about not being ready to potty train). She's physically ready. But mentally, she associates potty training with being a big girl and no longer being able to nurse. Which she doesn't want to happen. So she doesn't want to potty train.
Can you talk to your LO and find out if she can convey why she doesn't want to use the potty or the diaper changes? At the end of the day, it's kind of her choice - diaper or potty, but she has to pick one.

This is exactly it, I know. I have asked her and usually she just says, "Because I don't WANT you to change my diaper!" Just yesterday, though, she said, "Mama, you don't have to change my diaper. You have to keep playing with me!" Oh the guilt. I worry that because I work full time, she feels like she doesn't get enough play time with me as it is.

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I have seriously had it. Diapers, Potty Training, it's all a huge fail.

Re: I have seriously had it. Diapers, Potty Training, it's all a huge fail.

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