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WWYD - Sad situation with OB

jefkjefk member
in June 2013 Moms

My OB's office has four doctors who deliver babies, and I've seen them regularly throughout my pregnancy.  My favorite doctor went on maternity leave a couple months ago - she was only about 20 weeks, but pregnant with twins and high-risk.  After today's appointment, I made next week's appointment and was surprised to see her name on my reminder.  I asked the receptionist if this was in error and she just shook her head - she lost the babies and today is her first day back, and the receptionist said she's "very sensitive right now."

I feel awful.  I can't imagine going back to that job after that loss.  Do I say something next week?   If so, what do I say?  I wasn't close enough with her to send a card or anything, but I feel like it would be rude and awkward to not acknowledge it.  Any suggestions on what, if anything, to say?

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Re: WWYD - Sad situation with OB

  • mrskait13mrskait13 member
    Personally. I wouldn't say a thing. She's your doctor, not a friend or anything. If she brings it up, obviously you offer your sympathies, but I think bring it up would be a painful reminder. It would also tell her that the office was 'talking about it' which I am positive she would NOT appreciate.
    Married: 04-13-12 

    SS: 12-13-02 | SD: 12-13-02

    DS: 6-8-13 | Sept 15' #2

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  • sap275sap275
    imagemrskait13:
    Personally. I wouldn't say a thing. She's your doctor, not a friend or anything. If she brings it up, obviously you offer your sympathies, but I think bring it up would be a painful reminder. It would also tell her that the office was 'talking about it' which I am positive she would NOT appreciate.
    I agree. 
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  • MrsAubyMrsAuby member

    imagesap275:
    imagemrskait13:
    Personally. I wouldn't say a thing. She's your doctor, not a friend or anything. If she brings it up, obviously you offer your sympathies, but I think bring it up would be a painful reminder. It would also tell her that the office was 'talking about it' which I am positive she would NOT appreciate.
    I agree. 

    What they said! That's so sad though! :( My thoughts are with her. 

    Married 3/24/12
    #1 Born 6/14/13
    #2 Due 11/1/16

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  • lioness13lioness13 member
    Don't mention it. I think it would be nice if you told her she's you're favorite and you're happy to see her.
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  • kelseypiekelseypie member
    imageCTGirl30:
    I wouldn't bring it up unless she does.

    And she may very well have asked the receptionist to inform patients in case there was any confusion amongst patients. You know, rather than her need to inform 85 people over and over.
    I agree with this. I think she will probably have lot of patients who don't think and say something about it. I couldn't imagine having to re live the story over and over each day, especially while trying to maintain a professional attitude at work.



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  • jefkjefk member

    imageCTGirl30:
    I wouldn't bring it up unless she does. And she may very well have asked the receptionist to inform patients in case there was any confusion amongst patients. You know, rather than her need to inform 85 people over and over.

    I agree - I don't think it was office gossip.  When I saw her name on the reminder, I started to say, "Isn't Dr. W on leave" and the receptionist cut me off and shook her head.  She was very discreet.

    I'm not going to say anything unless she does.  Thanks for the responses. 

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  • courty625courty625 member
    I agree with other PPs. It's a dr, not a friend.

    Losing a child and returning to your daily life has to be tough regardless, but I bet it'll be extra tough for her to go back to her job. How sad
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  • amypogg6amypogg6 member
    imageplus1:
    I agree with pps. Don't mention it unless she does.

    That's a terrible situation.


    I too agree with everyone else. That is do sad.
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  • mjune3881mjune3881 member
    I wouldn't say a thing.  I would just let her do her job.  Has to be hard enough to have a loss and go to work delivering babies.  Let alone have a late loss.  Just let her deal with it in her own way. 
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  • heavenpaigeheavenpaige
    imagemrskait13:
    Personally. I wouldn't say a thing. She's your doctor, not a friend or anything. If she brings it up, obviously you offer your sympathies, but I think bring it up would be a painful reminder. It would also tell her that the office was 'talking about it' which I am positive she would NOT appreciate.


    Yes, this. Well said.
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  • Nix55Nix55 member
    I disagree with everyone. I think the polite thing would be to tell her you are sorry for her loss and leave it at that. I'm sure she knows that everyone knows and sometimes it just feels worse when everyone ignores the white elephant in the room.
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  • kristinrae914kristinrae914 member

    imagelioness13:
    Don't mention it. I think it would be nice if you told her she's you're favorite and you're happy to see her.

    Yes

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  • Eleventy11Eleventy11 member
    imageNix55:
    I disagree with everyone. I think the polite thing would be to tell her you are sorry for her loss and leave it at that. I'm sure she knows that everyone knows and sometimes it just feels worse when everyone ignores the white elephant in the room.


    This. Pregnancy loss is very hard. However, sometimes the hardest part is people acting like its nbd. I think a quick, I'm very sorry for your loss and leaving it at that is the thing to do.
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