The waiting game continues..

YBnormal85 · May 2013

As I still wait to miscarry,I have been an emotional mess I can't help but feel SO grateful for such an amazing wife.She has been so wonderful through this tough time,I'm so lucky to have her.

On a different note,I know so many others have suffered a loss in the past,how did everyone handle this waiting period? It's hard to deal with the emotional aspect when the physical aspect is still looming over my head.

2MamazInSeattle · May 2013

YB, again I am so sorry for your loss. I was fairly far along at 16w so I had the surgical procedure done a week after we found out he'd died, about 10 days after growth stopped (D&E procedure with laminaria prep the day before). For me, waiting didn't feel like the best option especially because it can take weeks and the baby was so big. However, like you, I found even the 1 week I had to wait for my D&E to feel long and like it was holding me back from moving on. Have you considered a D&C? Or, there are medications that can get it started.

I'd suggest going to the Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss board and asking there - you'll have a concentrated audience of women who had a loss before 20 weeks typically, and I found the bulk were in the first trimester (lots of medically/pill induced m/c and D&C's). I'm guessing you can get a decent/representative sample there. Another board that could help is the TTCAL (all of these women have had m/c too).

Hope those ideas help - it is hard to wait because it can just happen at any time from hours to weeks. Hang in there, and again I'm so sorry but glad your wife is there for you!

kristi&p · May 2013

I have no experience and cant imagine how you must feel. Just wanted to say that I feel very sad for what you are going through and wish you both the best and I hope you find a way to cope with feelings that I cant even imagine. So sorry for your loss.

mollykelley · May 2013

Hi YB, I'm so sorry you are having to endure this wait and emotional pain. With my last pregnancy, I also had no signs of miscarriage (they called a missed miscarriage) and it was discovered at 8 weeks. I didn't want to wait so I took the at home medication (Cytotec) and it was painful but inevitable. I didn't need a D&C. I wanted it to be over. My heart goes out to you and your wife.

I agree with 2mamaz, that you will find lots of info and support on the loss board. And we are here for you too!

ball.and.chain · May 2013

So sorry this is dragging on for you. I was given a choice of Cytotec or a D&E and I chose the D&E because I wanted it over as quickly and painlessly as possible. I only had to wait a day.

Sending hugs.

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