Yes, it's a circumcision question.

CindyRelluh · May 2013

I know this has been debated to the moon and back, and this is purely for my information. I just want info from both sides, if you've got it! So here's the deal. DH and I are both on the fence about whether or not to get DS circumcised. Neither one of us are extreme, one way or the other, we just have weighed some pros and cons, and genuinely cannot decide.

Obviously I know it is ultimately up to us, and I in no way want to start a debate, He and I are both just looking for some insight from moms who have BTDT! Keep in mind, DH is not circumcised, but he is looking at this as objectively as possible.

So what say you, BTDT mommies? Experiences? Advice? GIFs? (Not of circumcision.. don't EVER GIF that)

MdWestMom · May 2013

For us it was a super easy decision - it's not my penis, it's my son's, so I am not going to choose how to cosmetically change it.

p.s. - I would say you most certainly are "looking for debate"...but we have some awesome ladies here on June board, so you should get some good answers.

mel1987 · May 2013

Flip a coin, the boy will grow up fine either way. ;]

LucyHoneychrrch · May 2013

I can't. Because someone will bring in the word "mutilation" and then all intelligent discourse is lost.

CindyRelluh · May 2013

MdWestMom:
For us it was a super easy decision - it's not my penis, it's my son's, so I am not going to choose how to cosmetically change it.
p.s. - I would say you most certainly are "looking for debate"...but we have some awesome ladies here on June board, so you should get some good answers.

Well I'm not TRYING for a debate, I just feel like getting advice from moms who have little boys could be helpful to us.

CindyRelluh · May 2013

mel1987:
Flip a coin, the boy will grow up fine either way. ;]

LOL I said this to DH!

LaBellaVida · May 2013

both my boys have it done. It was an easy decision for us. For us, it was a decision on the health benefits of it.

However; I can see why people don't do it, or want it done.

ETA: It was a really simple procedure, and it healed quickly and nicely. Boys didn't appear to have any side effects or pain due to it.

I have a boy on the way- and will have his done also right after birth, which is what has always been recommended to me.

kanga1622Wed220857 · May 2013

We had DS circed and he has had a few issues this winter with skin issues and reactions to something that we cannot completely figure out.

At this rate we are not sure if we will circ this baby if it is a boy. The urologist we have been seeing says he never sees intact boys with the issue our son has. Unfortunately we don't know the complete cause of DS's issues so this decision is going to be a rough one for us.

CindyRelluh · May 2013

kanga1622Wed220857:
We had DS circed and he has had a few issues this winter with skin issues and reactions to something that we cannot completely figure out. At this rate we are not sure if we will circ this baby if it is a boy. The urologist we have been seeing says he never sees intact boys with the issue our son has. Unfortunately we don't know the complete cause of DS's issues so this decision is going to be a rough one for us.

Poor thing! I hope it clears up for him!

RedCherry1109 · May 2013

I left it up to DH(he isn't) and he wanted to boys to be so they are and this LO will be too. I didn't care either way. I have a friend that didn't have her son's done so her little boy at the age of 2 he has to have it done because the foreskin is to tight(I know/sure that it doesn't happen often).

ETA: I know that DH wishes he was but he not going to get it done as an adult.

TchrKate · May 2013

I know a family friend who was uncircumcised and had a problem where when he hit adolescence his foreskin would not fully retract over an erection. It was very painful and then he had to have it done as an adult... which seemed much more traumatic to me. DH was a little squeamish about the whole thing, but when I told him that story, he said basically that if it had to happen, it was better not to remember. DH is circ-ed, himself, FWIW.

Willubmine · May 2013

I was on the fence with William. DH said "no doubt about it if its a boy yes he will be circumcised." I left the choice to DH. William had no pain or discomfort that I could tell. It healed easily and no issues.

ilovemarfa · May 2013

My husband is a nurse practitioner and his best friend is our son's pediatrician and they both are pro circumcision so I agreed to it. They are the medical professionals and I trust their judgement. My son has never had any issues with it. This son will be circumcised as well.

CindyRelluh · May 2013

Thank you SO much for your stories! It is helping our discussion here!

ETA I feel like I am going to have a melt down with him, because I have only mothered a girl so far!

mel1987 · May 2013

My son is circumcised, he's almost four years old and never had a problem.

aiche Umm Ayoub · May 2013

My son is circumcised, and I plan on circumcising his brother when he is born .

Achae · May 2013

I think "because daddy is like that" is the worst argument for it ever. I don't think there are any health benefits if you live in a first world country and bathe yourself. I think if this were practiced on women it wouldn't even be an issue. And it's mainly a US centric thing obsessed over cosmetics. I'm not religious so that's the only thing I've heard

CindyRelluh · May 2013

Achae:
I think "because daddy is like that" is the worst argument for it ever. I don't think there are any health benefits if you live in a first world country and bathe yourself. I think if this were practiced on women it wouldn't even be an issue. And it's mainly a US centric thing obsessed over cosmetics. I'm not religious so that's the only thing I've heard

Yeah we definitely didn't want to NOT do it because we wanted them to match, IMO that is not a good reason. We want to make sure we are doing what we feel is the best for him, health wise. I was surprised DH was 50/50 too!

holagal · May 2013

Achae:
I think "because daddy is like that" is the worst argument for it ever. I don't think there are any health benefits if you live in a first world country and bathe yourself. I think if this were practiced on women it wouldn't even be an issue. And it's mainly a US centric thing obsessed over cosmetics. I'm not religious so that's the only thing I've heard

I'm sorry for replying and not being a June mama! But I was lurking and just wanted to put it out there that I don't think an adult males experience is "the worst argument ever." But besides that I wanted to offer the tidbit that circ can provide health benefits and is not cosmetic at least that's not why we did it.

This is the first link I could find. I am sure you can find actual scholarly articles related to the subject.

https://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/04/18/howcircumcisionmaystemhiv/

CindyRelluh · May 2013

holagal:
Achae:
I think "because daddy is like that" is the worst argument for it ever. I don't think there are any health benefits if you live in a first world country and bathe yourself. I think if this were practiced on women it wouldn't even be an issue. And it's mainly a US centric thing obsessed over cosmetics. I'm not religious so that's the only thing I've heard
I'm sorry for replying and not being a June mama! But I was lurking and just wanted to put it out there that I don't think an adult males experience is "the worst argument ever." But besides that I wanted to offer the tidbit that circ can provide health benefits and is not cosmetic at least that's not why we did it. This is the first link I could find. I am sure you can find actual scholarly articles related to the subject. https://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/04/18/howcircumcisionmaystemhiv/

Thank you! Any little bit helps!

Caitlin224 · May 2013

Our son is not circumcised, and the wee baby will not be either.

DH and I understand why ppl do and understand why ppl don't (he is circled) so we just figured since we didn't have any hardcore beliefs either way, we would let it be.

MdWestMom · May 2013

Some things I found just plain ol' interesting...

1. Circ vs. natural rates are about 50/50 in the U.S. right now. Means nobody's kid will be the "weird one" in the locker room. Half will be one way and half the other. In all of Europe and South America, circ rates are below 20%. In most of Africa, rates are above 80%.

2. None of the major health organizations can agree on whether there are any health benefits or not. WHO is adamant that circ reduces AIDS by 60% and APA claims a 90% reduction in UTIs, meanwhile entire groups of very prominent (re: Oxford, Stanford, etc) US and European physicians disagree with those studies and see no medical benefit. CDC will not say either way.

3. Most circs are done by OB's, but ACOG doesn't track the rate of complication, nor does it train or certify OB's in circ. A pediatric urologist, on the other hand, is typically trained to manage circs, and any complications that may arise, whether baby is circ or natural.

4. The roots of circumcision are religious, and the US is one of the only countries where a large percentage of non-Jewish and non-Muslim males are circ'd.

Mommy2CB · May 2013

DS1 is circumcised and so will D2. DH is also circumcised. We both just kind of agreed that we would do it. We had 0 issues with DS1's procedure and it was super fast. Maybe talk to your pedi about it?

CindyRelluh · May 2013

MdWestMom:
Some things I found just plain ol' interesting...
1. Circ vs. natural rates are about 50/50 in the U.S. right now. Means nobody's kid will be the "weird one" in the locker room. Half will be one way and half the other. In all of Europe and South America, circ rates are below 20%. In most of Africa, rates are above 80%.
2. None of the major health organizations can agree on whether there are any health benefits or not. WHO is adamant that circ reduces AIDS by 60% and APA claims a 90% reduction in UTIs, meanwhile entire groups of very prominent (re: Oxford, Stanford, etc) US and European physicians disagree with those studies and see no medical benefit. CDC will not say either way.
3. Most circs are done by OB's, but ACOG doesn't track the rate of complication, nor does it train or certify OB's in circ. A pediatric urologist, on the other hand, is typically trained to manage circs, and any complications that may arise, whether baby is circ or natural.
4. The roots of circumcision are religious, and the US is one of the only countries where a large percentage of non-Jewish and non-Muslim males are circ'd.

Thank you SO much for this!

Also, since I can't quote two PP's, to the PP above this, I am going to talk to him tomorrow, and it will probably sway us in one way or the other. I am happy to hear some stories, facts and advice!

GirlWithAnchors · May 2013

holagal:
Achae:
I think "because daddy is like that" is the worst argument for it ever. I don't think there are any health benefits if you live in a first world country and bathe yourself. I think if this were practiced on women it wouldn't even be an issue. And it's mainly a US centric thing obsessed over cosmetics. I'm not religious so that's the only thing I've heard

I'm sorry for replying and not being a June mama! But I was lurking and just wanted to put it out there that I don't think an adult males experience is "the worst argument ever." But besides that I wanted to offer the tidbit that circ can provide health benefits and is not cosmetic at least that's not why we did it.

This is the first link I could find. I am sure you can find actual scholarly articles related to the subject.

https://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/04/18/howcircumcisionmaystemhiv/

I agree. Our LO will be mainly because we did our research and felt it was best for our little guy. DH is, so he was leaning towards it. My brothers are not and my mom says she regrets it now because sometimes my younger brother has problems cleaning it. We asked a couple guys, some cut some uncut, and the majority said to do it. So based on all that we decided yes.

Just ask the men around you, I know that might seem awkward so make your husband do it and report back lol

Jasmineeelizabeth · May 2013

https://circumcisiondecisionmaker.com/

hannahg · May 2013

We did it for religious reasons so there was no question but I was in the room and can tell you that DS was fine. He cried exactly the same amount he did whenever I took his diaper off. As soon as his diaper was back on he was fine and recovery was easy.

kmdm · May 2013

I had a bf who was not circ and when he had an erection, the foreskin did not retract back. it was very painful for him. we never had sex because his erections never lasted beyond a few minutes. he was too scared to have the procedure as an adult.

CindyRelluh · May 2013

CarolynL8:
We ended up not doing it.
After asking different doctors and doing some research we couldnt find a strong enough reason to.

I hope everything is going well with you and your little guy!!

homebird · May 2013

I go back and forth. Honestly, I have not seen any super-compelling reasons to make me lean to one side or the other.

CindyRelluh · May 2013

hannaht4321:
DH and I were like you OP where neither of us felt strongly one way or another. This is how we decided: we have no religious reason to circ the pro's and con's of circing seemed really equal to us and didn't help us make much of a decision. DH did not care at all if his son 'looked like him'We are not circing. nbsp;We decided there was no compelling reason to do so, and therefore wasnbsp;unnecessarynbsp;for our son. You may also double check what your insurance will cover, I have heard that some won't cover a circ.nbsp;

I think this is what we've decided on. We've spoken to her doc and the medical a pros and cons are pretty equal like you said. Thanks for the help, ladies!!

ckettenb · May 2013

We opted not to. Have never regretted it. You can always decide at the hospital.

GraceInCA · May 2013

We didn't circ our son. DH is circ'd but that was routinely done in the States when he was born. He did not need to have matching penises with his son.

I find the procedure to be unnecessary and barbaric. But I'm hopeful because the U.S. rates are dropping fast, and we will reach the rates of other first world countries within the next few years.

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