Going back to work next week

MrsL1022 · May 2013

Hi Ladies!

It's been a while since I have been on here. Life has been busy. Hopefully some of my veteran friends are still lurking. I am going back to work next week, after being a SAHM for almost 5 years. It's way more bittersweet than I expected. I am starting to freak out a little bit. Mostly about leaving B at daycare, but I realize this is just the control freak/mama bear in me. I am very lucky to be able to step back into my career where I left off several years ago, but nervous b/c I had no kids then and juggling all of this is daunting to me.

Any advise on how to make this go as smoothly for me and the kids would be greatly appreciated.

dleigh2020 · May 2013

Give yourself time to adjust. It takes time for everyone to get back into the swing of things. Try to plan meals ahead of time or use the crockpot. That is the one area in which I am still not great. I am usually throwing something together last minute and it is not always the healthiest option. Divide and conquer. If there are things your DH can do let him do it. I made the mistake of trying to do everything and I was worn out all the time. I have learned to let go of some of my type A tendancies and just expect the help from my DH. It is not always done to my standard but it is good enough and I have some time to relax and chill too.

Good luck with everything!

myrall · May 2013

You can do it, Lauren! Above all else, make sure you give yourself a break. You can't do everything. Some things will need to slide when you're first transitioning back. AND THAT'S OKAY. Say it again: THAT'S OKAY!

Being a working mom is full of gives and takes. There are different kinds of stress, some good, some bad. You just make it work. And for crying out loud, don't read any article that has the phrase "having it all" in it. You'll just make yourself nutty.

I remind myself of this phrase often: Happy Mama, happy family. And really, going back to work doesn't have to only be about the financial benefit - there's something in it for you too. Good luck and let me know if you need anything!

Kerrin · May 2013

One day at a time. Wash, rinse, repeat.

I'm serious. You'll be fine and once you get in the swing of things, you'll realize how much stuff you can actually accomplish when you have a good schedule.

MrsL1022 · May 2013

Thanks ladies! I think it's going to take my type A brain some time to adjust. DH is very supportive and is being very encouraging. I know this will be best for everyone, me included. I have slowly been trying to get things in order for the transition. I made some chicken parm this weekend and froze it as well as some other things that C likes in single servings, so that he can eat as soon as he gets home. A friend of mine warned me that her kids are ravenous by the time she picks them up, so I have tried to make that easy. I also decided I am going to marinade a ton to meat and veggies that can just be thrown on the grill during the week when we get home. Yay for summer!

Here are some DC questions I have, I know some of this is probably center specific but just curious what some of you do/did?

1) Did you leave diapers, wipes and baby food in your child's room in bulk? Seems like a ton to have to bring back and fourth.

2) Teething rings, B likes them cold and there is a tray in the fridge at DS for his stuff. Was your DCP good at keeping track of this stuff if its labeled? Also, the gremaphobe in me wonders if I should send them b/c the idea of another kid "sharing' with him skeeves me out. I realize, they will all probably swap spit with common toys but I am trying to shut that idea out, b/c ewww and hello sick visits.....

3) I am an admitted 'bad' mom who allows B to take a bottle with him for naps. He drinks it and then passes out 2 minutes later. I don't think DC will allow this. I am trying to curb the bottle in bed this week but don't think it will be that easy. Did your DC allow a bottle in the crib for naps? I know, this is bad but it works and he won't go to Kindergarten doing it....

4) How long did your DC let your LO 'work it out' for naps? Sometimes it takes B 20 mins to fall asleep. Our DC mentioned scrapping the nap all together if it took more than 10-15 mins for LO to fall asleep. I am worried that they will not let him roll around/fuss long enough and that he will then be exhausted by the time we get him home. Thoughts?

I realize this is a lot of my 'DC fears' coming into play here but I am curious as to what some of you experienced? I am sure by now you are going WOA lady chill but I am nervous about how all of this is going to go.

yellowtulips80 · May 2013

If I can do it, so can you! Congratulations on the new job!

If B is exhausted when he gets home then the best thing you can do is to try to keep him on schedule and maybe put him to bed a little earlier. Eventually he will nap at daycare and get into routines. It is amazing how my kids will stick to daycare schedules even on weekends.

My DC isn't so great at keeping up with toys/teethers and things like that. I use those labels made by kiddo tags. Anything I can get a label on I will get back eventually. I did find that the parts of Parker's bottles would get scrambled with other peoples. He used Dr. Browns and it seemed like everyone had those. On that note make sure you label every single friggin thing you send in. Including sheets, blankets, and shoes.

I take in stuff as it is needed. I learned the hard way. Toting two children, their bags, and a box of diapers is tough work. It also makes it easier for your kids diapers to get "borrowed" and never returned. I take five diapers a day period. If he goes through more than that, then he must be getting sick.

If you have to make finger foods for meals for B then do it all at once on a Sunday night. I would spend about an hour on a Sunday packing up all his little finger foods and then set up baskets in the fridge for snack, breakfast, and lunch. So in the mornings I just grab one from each bin. This saves your sanity when you are trying to relax in the evenings.

Sick visits. Just go ahead and plan for all your sick days to be used up for sick kids. It sucks. I'm not trying to scare you. I haven't gotten a "sanity day" for me since my daughter was born. The few days I've taken because I was actually sick were because I was really really sick and no amount of cold meds would let me make it though the day.

I can't say for sure on the bottle in the crib thing but they'll probably tell you no on it. B is likely adjust in two weeks. The first few days are going to be rough. I do this all over again every August when school starts back and it does not get any easier. The best thing you can do for yourself is give yourself an extra 15 minutes to get to work that first few weeks. And plan your meals well in advance so you have something easy to make when you are brain dead from work. I like to make meals that have a domino effect. Like I make chilli one night, and the next night the left overs are used in something else. I also schedule my menu around what I know my energy level will be like. My most labor intense meals are on Monday and Tuesday. By Friday, I'm warming up something or just doing assembly.

Don't beat yourself up for putting the kids in DC and going to work. The mommy guilt trap is an easy one to get into and just don't go there. I just have to remind myself over and over that they are having a blast, playing with friends, and so on. They will actually miss each other during the day and will have all kinds of antics when they are both home again. I swear it makes my kids get along better.

MrsL1022 · May 2013

yellowtulips80:
If I can do it, so can you! Congratulations on the new job!
If B is exhausted when he gets home then the best thing you can do is to try to keep him on schedule and maybe put him to bed a little earlier. Eventually he will nap at daycare and get into routines. It is amazing how my kids will stick to daycare schedules even on weekends.
My DC isn't so great at keeping up with toys/teethers and things like that. I use those labels made by kiddo tags. Anything I can get a label on I will get back eventually. I did find that the parts of Parker's bottles would get scrambled with other peoples. He used Dr. Browns and it seemed like everyone had those. On that note make sure you label every single friggin thing you send in. Including sheets, blankets, and shoes.
I take in stuff as it is needed. I learned the hard way. Toting two children, their bags, and a box of diapers is tough work. It also makes it easier for your kids diapers to get "borrowed" and never returned. I take five diapers a day period. If he goes through more than that, then he must be getting sick.
If you have to make finger foods for meals for B then do it all at once on a Sunday night. I would spend about an hour on a Sunday packing up all his little finger foods and then set up baskets in the fridge for snack, breakfast, and lunch. So in the mornings I just grab one from each bin. This saves your sanity when you are trying to relax in the evenings.
Sick visits. Just go ahead and plan for all your sick days to be used up for sick kids. It sucks. I'm not trying to scare you. I haven't gotten a "sanity day" for me since my daughter was born. The few days I've taken because I was actually sick were because I was really really sick and no amount of cold meds would let me make it though the day.
I can't say for sure on the bottle in the crib thing but they'll probably tell you no on it. B is likely adjust in two weeks. The first few days are going to be rough. I do this all over again every August when school starts back and it does not get any easier. The best thing you can do for yourself is give yourself an extra 15 minutes to get to work that first few weeks. And plan your meals well in advance so you have something easy to make when you are brain dead from work. I like to make meals that have a domino effect. Like I make chilli one night, and the next night the left overs are used in something else. I also schedule my menu around what I know my energy level will be like. My most labor intense meals are on Monday and Tuesday. By Friday, I'm warming up something or just doing assembly.
Don't beat yourself up for putting the kids in DC and going to work. The mommy guilt trap is an easy one to get into and just don't go there. I just have to remind myself over and over that they are having a blast, playing with friends, and so on. They will actually miss each other during the day and will have all kinds of antics when they are both home again. I swear it makes my kids get along better.

Thank you Julie!

myrall · May 2013

First couple weeks or so with B in DC will probably suck. I'm not going to lie. They'll work hard to get him adjusted to their schedule and he eventually will adjust. Little people are funny that way. Your worries are real, though, and daycare will listen and take note of everything. However, I've found that eventually, you just let go and let daycare. Daycare actually cured both of my kids of their binky problems waaay before I did. They also have the knack of getting good naps, etc.

Do take your items in bulk. We don't have to supply wipes, but I take a sleeve of diapers at a time and just write Cecil's name on the sleeve.

swh6705 · May 2013

MrsL1022:
You'll do great. It's definitely going to be an adjustment- I'm actually adjusting to the opposite situation right now. Transitioning from full time working mom in the office with commute from hell to full time (mostly) work at home. The kids are still in daycare but I have loads more time with them than before- sounds great but I'm struggling with that too. So just remember there are challenges no matter what the circumstances! Don't put too much pressure on yourself. By the time you adjust to a routine, something will change and you'll have to readjust. Don't let that get frustrating or it will consume you. Go with the flow.
My best tip for timesaving is to do grocery shopping once a month. I didn't start this until last year, but it revolutionized my life. I plan out meals on paper, make a huge shopping list, go to SAMS and Publix. I spend about $300-400 in one day and then do a restock halfway thru the month for perishables. I've been able to keep our grocery budget under $500. It was double that when I was shopping every week. Hoping to start couponing again soon to save more. Sign up for Amazon Moms and Prime if you haven't already. Anything that can be shipped to your house... buy it here. Our weekly meal plan goes like this: 1 crock pot meal, 2 30 min meals, 1 left over night, 1 pizza night (either frozen or delivery), 1 fast food night, 1 sit down restaurant night. It's not always healthy but we tend to eat healthy lunches/breakfast so I don't worry about it too much.

1) Did you leave diapers, wipes and baby food in your child's room in bulk? Seems like a ton to have to bring back and fourth.
This is going to depend on your daycare. Ours only wanted enough food/bottles for the day but they would let me leave some extra baby food each week in the cupboard. And it all had to be labeled. I did all that at night before. Loaded it into a cooler bag and brought it in each morning. It didn't take that long once I had a system. All our bottles/sippys had permanent name tags on tops/bottoms (mabels labels camp pack is the best value I've found). So all I had to do was write the date on a piece of masking tape each day. I could leave a large pack of diapers and wipes there so I did. All I brought each day was the bottle bag. Oh and this sounds insane but for the first few months after both maternity leaves, I had to print out an excel spreadsheet with all the items we might need to take in. I would highlight the ones that we needed the night before and then DH and I would check them off as we grabbed them in the morning. It was the only way I could make sure nothing was forgotten. I'll send it to you ;-)

2) Teething rings, B likes them cold and there is a tray in the fridge at DS for his stuff. Was your DCP good at keeping track of this stuff if its labeled? Also, the gremaphobe in me wonders if I should send them b/c the idea of another kid "sharing' with him skeeves me out. I realize, they will all probably swap spit with common toys but I am trying to shut that idea out, b/c ewww and hello sick visits.....
Sorry hun, but you're gonna have to let this one go. They are going to share everything no matter how well you label it. Think of it this way, by the time he starts pre-k, his immune system is going to be super strong :-)

3) I am an admitted 'bad' mom who allows B to take a bottle with him for naps. He drinks it and then passes out 2 minutes later. I don't think DC will allow this. I am trying to curb the bottle in bed this week but don't think it will be that easy. Did your DC allow a bottle in the crib for naps? I know, this is bad but it works and he won't go to Kindergarten doing it....
Tell them this up front but they will probably break him of this habit within 1 week. In fact, he will probably be so exhausted by nap time that he doesn't even miss it. Then the challenge is for you to do the same thing at home on the weekends ;-) Sophie still has her paci at bedtime at home (gasp... I'm going to mommy hell). She has been paci free at daycare for a year. Shame on me. Daycare has broken all my kids bad habits for me... all I have to do is follow their lead.

4) How long did your DC let your LO 'work it out' for naps? Sometimes it takes B 20 mins to fall asleep. Our DC mentioned scrapping the nap all together if it took more than 10-15 mins for LO to fall asleep. I am worried that they will not let him roll around/fuss long enough and that he will then be exhausted by the time we get him home. Thoughts?
Don't stress about this. Expect him to be exhausted the first week or so but the daycare routine takes hold fast and he'll see the others going to sleep and do the same. In fact, I found with both kids that once they got into the daycare routine, their sleep at home improved tremendously as well. This is one area where I claim daycare excels over SAH. The routine is just critical for this age and daycares generally have that mastered.

K&P414 · May 2013

Good luck Lauren! I'm sure that eventually you guys will get into the swing of things.

kbowman78 · May 2013

No experience here, but wanted to wish you a smooth transition. I just went back to work this week after maternity leave and it's been tough. I hope that you have a good experience and find that it goes smoothly

Louise06 · May 2013

Congratulations on your new job! I hope that transition goes well.

mingaling2 · May 2013

You've gotten lots of great advice - good luck and remember "one day at a time"

MSquires100 · May 2013

MrsL1022:

Thanks ladies! I think it's going to take my type A brain some time to adjust. DH is very supportive and is being very encouraging. I know this will be best for everyone, me included. I have slowly been trying to get things in order for the transition. I made some chicken parm this weekend and froze it as well as some other things that C likes in single servings, so that he can eat as soon as he gets home. A friend of mine warned me that her kids are ravenous by the time she picks them up, so I have tried to make that easy. I also decided I am going to marinade a ton to meat and veggies that can just be thrown on the grill during the week when we get home. Yay for summer! For us it totally depends on the day the boys temperment when we get home. I think all your planning for meals will REALLY pay off in the long run!

Here are some DC questions I have, I know some of this is probably center specific but just curious what some of you do/did?

1) Did you leave diapers, wipes and baby food in your child's room in bulk? Seems like a ton to have to bring back and fourth. Our daycare allows to take things in bulk, which is so much easier, of course with the exception of bottles. I'm sure that will be the case for yours too

2) Teething rings, B likes them cold and there is a tray in the fridge at DS for his stuff. Was your DCP good at keeping track of this stuff if its labeled? Also, the gremaphobe in me wonders if I should send them b/c the idea of another kid "sharing' with him skeeves me out. I realize, they will all probably swap spit with common toys but I am trying to shut that idea out, b/c ewww and hello sick visits..... I don't see too many kids at our daycare with them, if you do take them, definitely label them, however know the other kids will probalby take them Just the curiousity in them.

3) I am an admitted 'bad' mom who allows B to take a bottle with him for naps. He drinks it and then passes out 2 minutes later. I don't think DC will allow this. I am trying to curb the bottle in bed this week but don't think it will be that easy. Did your DC allow a bottle in the crib for naps? I know, this is bad but it works and he won't go to Kindergarten doing it.... I don't believe ours allows it, because now with T they are giving him his bottles in the high chair so he can hold them. However, I have been there and he's fallen asleep. They will probably help in breaking him of the habit, and I'm sure not the first time they've seen this. So try not to stress.

4) How long did your DC let your LO 'work it out' for naps? Sometimes it takes B 20 mins to fall asleep. Our DC mentioned scrapping the nap all together if it took more than 10-15 mins for LO to fall asleep. I am worried that they will not let him roll around/fuss long enough and that he will then be exhausted by the time we get him home. Thoughts? T basically doesn't nap right now in the infant room, no lie. Maybe 2 30 min naps sometimes only one. However, I can get the kid to sleep for 3 hours at home. I think it's just the noise. I know some centers won't let the babies 'work themselves to sleep'. Not sure if it's a 'rule' or what. However, with it all being new to him, it may just wear him out so much he may nap with no problem.

I realize this is a lot of my 'DC fears' coming into play here but I am curious as to what some of you experienced? I am sure by now you are going WOA lady chill but I am nervous about how all of this is going to go.

Good luck! Granted we sent T right after my maternity leave, so the experience is way different, but he will adjust, but it may take a little time, but the kiddos are so amazing and adjust pretty quickly so just take it all day by day. Best of luck and congrats on your new adventure!!!!!!!!

MrsL1022 · May 2013

Thank you all for your encouragement and thoughtful responses! You have made me feel so much better! I took Brennan for a 1/2 day at daycare and he did great. He even slept for 30 minutes with the other kids. It was not the 2.5 hour nap he normally takes in the PM and he was overtired last night but he fell asleep easily. His DC teacher seems great as do the other ladies that rotate in to help. I feel great about the center and the camp program they have for Colin looks like so much fun! This week went by SO fast!

I think I am ready for Monday!

Going back to work next week

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