Anyone want another baby but DH doesn't?

shellylovelee · May 2013

I turn 40 this year and DH turns 45. We have 2U2 and I don't want to rule out trying for a third. DH is against it for financial reasons mainly and I understand.

Anyone else want more but DH opposes? The clock is ticking, severely, so I don't know what to do/think.

stever · May 2013

DH and I are on the same page in that neither of us is 100% sure we're done. He's maybe 90% sure we're done whereas I'm more like 75%. We're probably done and DH is more sure we're done than I am.

Like you said, time isn't on our side. We're super lucky with our boys so if we need to call time on our baby making we'll be more than okay with it. And if DH was resolutely opposed to trying again I wouldn't feel the need to push him.

MesmrEwe · May 2013

My take is if one doesn't want to then no... <sigh>

Yes, I was ready for another when DS was born! DH after a freak accident that DS had the day he came home from the hospital, now has close to sworn off having another.. Crying (If I ended up PG unexpectedly, it wouldn't be the end of the world, but we aren't going to actively try KWIM)...

ilovemygirls · May 2013

I was in the opposite situation- I was about 40 when my DH suggested a 3rd. For many reasons, I wasn't comfortable with that- mostly because I didn't want be outnumbered

As a pp mentioned, I am firmly in the camp that both parties must agree to this 100% or it shouldn't happen. Mostly I think my DH suggested this as he was scared to go for his vas- he'd never brought up a 3rd before lol. So I don't really know how truly serious he was, but since I was definitely not on board, it wasn't happening.

vindaloo · May 2013

Wow, good on you. I feel like my second pregnancy was so much harder than my first, and will only get harder as I get older. I can't imagine doing it again, no matter what DH wants!

JilliansMoma · May 2013

stever:
DH and I are on the same page in that neither of us is 100% sure we're done. He's maybe 90% sure we're done whereas I'm more like 75%. We're probably done and DH is more sure we're done than I am.
Like you said, time isn't on our side. We're super lucky with our boys so if we need to call time on our baby making we'll be more than okay with it. And if DH was resolutely opposed to trying again I wouldn't feel the need to push him.

I feel this way exactly (except our percentages are reversed). If this LO is a boy, I'm more like 98% sure I'm done. If there is one up side to IF it's that I have 4 frozen embryos from my 36 year old self, so my clock isn't ticking as loudly as it would be if I were trying IVF in my 40's.

Scramblersmom · May 2013

stever:
DH and I are on the same page in that neither of us is 100% sure we're done. He's maybe 90% sure we're done whereas I'm more like 75%. We're probably done and DH is more sure we're done than I am.
Like you said, time isn't on our side. We're super lucky with our boys so if we need to call time on our baby making we'll be more than okay with it. And if DH was resolutely opposed to trying again I wouldn't feel the need to push him.

This is about where we are although DH is probably 99% sure and I am maybe 90% sure. I haven't been ready to throw in the towel yet 100% but I know I am running out of time too given that I am 40. One huge factor for us is that we can't afford daycare for a 2nd child right now and I can't SAH because we need my 2nd income to pay off my student loans.

Hope you can find a decision that you are comfortable with.

laurakaz13 · May 2013

We are the opposite. DH would love another one, but I'm feeling complete with just DD. My reasons being that I had 7.5 months of horrible, debilitating morning sickness and could not function. This was followed by a colicky baby.

I do think that if one is done, then the decision is made.

julymommy12 · May 2013

When we were dating my H said he wanted 2 kids. Right after our DS was born he states this is going to be our one and only child. I'm hoping he was just overwhelmed but haven't brought it up yet a) not ready yet for another but being 37 I don't have tons of time b) scared to hear the answer if he still only wants one. Every time my DS grows out of something etc I cry as I wonder if I will ever get to experience these first and lasts again.

Reilly626 · May 2013

I'd love one more if I were younger, I'm 38! But on the other hand we have boy girl twins and its so perfect just the 4 of us. Plus the twins exhausted me! Lol

MelissaMiso · May 2013

Hubby and I both want a second but we need to see where we are financially in a year. I'm 40, he's 38. DD just turned one. If we are lucky enough to be able to afford a second, I just pray we are still as fertile as we were with Fifi (first try!).

Moonhappy · June 2013

I'm 42 43 before years end. Had a baby boy last summer and am now 6m preg with my 4th, finally a girl. My first two boys are 20 23 yo. I thought I was done after the 3rd boy, but something kept telling me he needed a sibling closer in age. Hubby was more than happy! I'm definitely done after this girl :

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