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January 2013 Moms
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Standing your ground against other moms

OakTreeMommyOakTreeMommy member
in January 2013 Moms

This is a little bit of a vent but I'd still like to hear mom's experiences with this.

I know I'm a new mom and this is my first child but holy heck I just want to tell people that even though I'm new at this I still have a pretty good idea of what my DS wants and needs. 

Last night at the IL's I felt like my MIL kept pushing and I was constantly having to put my foot down. They bought my DS a exersaucer, which was really nice but he doesn't have the best head control so I told her sorry he's not ready for that yet. She puts him in there "just to see" his head flops around, he has no place to rest it and eventually I had to say ok that's enough. Then later she suggests that he could eat a bit of deviled egg. Again and I've told her about 5 times before that he won't be eating anything except breast milk until at least 6 months. Then he's been up for 2 hours already, is clearly cranky and exhausted and she's saying well if he goes to bed this early he won't sleep late.

I think I may be overreacting a bit but I'm just frustrated feeling like I have to constantly defend myself and the way I choose to raise my son. I hope I never do this to other moms now that I know how it feels.

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Re: Standing your ground against other moms

  • Mason&MamaMason&Mama member
    I wish I had some great advice, but I can just sympathize. And the hardest part is that it NEVER ends. It could be a MIL, someone in line at Target, or a friend that doesn't even have children. Often people have no filters when it comes to advice on raising children. If it is just random advice, I often just smile and change the subject, or I say that something along the lines of "my pedi and I discussed this and ... ." When it comes to MILs who are physically taking your baby and placing them in an exersaucer, I suppose that is when you have to dig deep for your inner Mama Bear and stand your ground. Good luck. And feel free to vent here. We still see these types of vents daily on my older sons board. But always remember that you are the mom and you know what's best!
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  • sbevmc09sbevmc09 member
    I think you're always going to encounter this to a certain extent.  My best advice would be to just remain confident in your choices and brush off everything else.  It sounds like you handled things just fine.  Just do an internal eye-roll and move on.  It's not worth letting little things like this get to you.  Now, if she had said, "he can have a little bit of egg" you say no, he can't have anything until 6mo, and then she tries to feed him something.  That's when it's time to make a stink about it and really put your foot down.  Same with the bedtime, if you make a move to put him to sleep and she tries to keep him awake it's time to stand up on behalf of your LO, but just do your best to let the little naggy comments roll off your back.  Sure it's annoying, but try not to let it get to you.  It's not worth it!
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  • zonagirliezonagirlie member
    What MM said. If you argue with every idiot who has an opinion you'll wear yourself out. When its a health or safety issue like food or the exerciser then I'd Momma Bear up though. I had to yell at my dad about trying repeatedly to give C French fries at 11 weeks when we visited him.
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  • Wild_flower25Wild_flower25 member

    Most of the time I just smile and nod and don't really say anything.  If they were doing something I didn't like I would act but mostly its just talk.

     

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  • OakTreeMommyOakTreeMommy member
    Agree with all the posts. Thanks for the advice. Raising children these days we so much good information that I think it's hard for our parents or grandparents who want to give advice but we've read or heard otherwise. Even though they raised happy, healthy children themselves. My grandma told me she fed my dad pureed meat at 6 weeks so he would gain more weight as recommended by her doctor. Scary. 
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  • AshleyDehavenAshleyDehaven member
    I feel ya. It's really unrelenting sometimes. I keep getting advice to just let DS cry, and put cereal in his bottle to satisfy him. Neither are things i think are necessary or healthy. Sometimes you just have to smile and nod. FWIW with the exersaucer i would just say no. Put your foot down doll, you're mama, what you say is the law. 
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  • susan10918susan10918 member
    I deal with the same things, but with my mother. She just doesnt believe me when I say LO needs to sleep as much as she does. She just says, no she is not tired, she will be fine. Well she is not the one getting up with her through the night every night! 
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