Awkward family comments this weekend...

beckerec · May 2013

So, I don't post often (but read very frequently), but thought I'd open a post for folks to share some of the less sensitive comments they got this Mother's Day weekend...

I'll start!

At my in-laws for a bridal shower (then going to a baby shower immediately after and while my husband enjoyed an all day bachelor party), helping host since the bride to be will be a fellow daughter in law come June. Grandma (husband's grandma) walks in the door, first words out of her mouth, "Are you pregnant?" (with an accompanying belly pat). Yup. I am not a big girl and don't look pregnant by any means... "Nope, not pregnant Grandma". "Oh, just gained a few pounds." "Sure, I guess." "Well, if you don't hurry up, Dean (bride to be's fiance and hubby's bro) is going to beat you."

All that wrapped into a one minute exchange before having to sit through a day of showers. Thanks Grandma....

Although, being that I'm half way through my 2ww this cycle (not that we did anything medical), maybe she has a sixth sense and it'll be a miracle month...? :-)

Just thought others might have had similar experiences and might want to share :-)

krdesi · May 2013

Haven't gone anywhere today so I didn't have to encounter stuff (and people in my family don't know we are ttc, so I don't get questions about when I'm having a baby ever)...But I called my grandmother today to wish her a Happy Mother's day and she was like "Thanks for calling. I guess you aren't doing anything today since you're not a mother"

Stung a little.

brandykid · May 2013

I haven't receieved any awkward comments yet...but, we'll be headed to my MIL's for dinner soon (my mom will be going, too, thank goodness). And I'm anticipating hearing some insensitive comments from my 19yo immature SIL who is due next month with her first child...wish me luck!

intheplanningstage · May 2013

Dhs family doesn't know about our ttc. Today his brother told me "happy unmothers day. " I cried for 10 minutes after. He didnt know and thought it was harmless. Needless to say, dhs family will know shortly!

Twinkie0612 · May 2013

I got wished a happy Mother's Day on Facebook today. It was a guy from high school (we weren't even really friends in high school) and I know he didn't mean anything by it, but wouldn't you think you would make sure you only sent that message to women that had kids? Luckily I have been having a pretty good IF day, or I might have sent a not so nice reply back.

mfarmer0811 · May 2013

chickinNH:
DH and I went out for brunch today with his mom's side of family. Thankfully, they didn't say anything insensitive but afterwards DH talked to his brother who said that the reason my MIL wanted us to come so badly today was because she was hoping I'd announce that I'm pregnant. Apparently she said it was "a very disappointing Mother's Day". Nice.

WOW!! selfish much? (referring to your MIL) UGH!! So sorry! (((hugs)))

Jellyfish42 · May 2013

A lady that I work with had her elderly parent come to work to eat in our cafeteria with her, since the food there is markably good and cheap. She had us (her coworkers) come out meet her parents and her mom (Who is 87/88 and so sweet) points at my belly and asks if there is anything in there. I replied there was not and she said "Aww, I was about to wish you a happy mothers day." She was so sweet about it, explaining that all the women who worked with her at her nursing home had babies in their belly. My coworker apologized for her mom, which wasn't necessary at all, but said maybe it was a sign it would happen soon or had happened and we didn't know. (A nice sentiment, but highly unlikely.)

babydreams13 · May 2013

Uhhh that must have been hard since you had to sit through showers. We had a Mother's Day BBQ for DHs mom and mine. We gave my MIL a stuffed animal bc she likes those sorts of things and she said I will save it for my grand daughter. Okay that comment was fine. Then our families were talking about grand children and my mom joked hopefully I have a grandchild before I'm in a walker...GREAT. I mean she has no idea we are having issues but really keep your insensitive comments to yourself. After that there was a FB preg announcement...so yeah not a great day. Hang in there everyone its almost over. Let's hope we are all holding our LOs or preg next Mother's Day.

scbedi · May 2013

I can't even count how many times someone asked me if I was a mother. I kept saying "furr baby mother". that's all I could muster!

BlueEyedDreamer · May 2013

My little brother (25 years old, single) knows about our IF but is completely clueless about what it all means. For example, when I told him we were moving on to IVF, he said, "Congratulations!" Yeah.... not really a *congratulations* kind of moment...

Yesterday, we gave my immediate family an update since we've started meds for our cycle. DH was talking about how brave I've been with the needles and whatnot. My little brother goes, "I don't know why you're complaining so much. A shot only hurts for, like, less than a minute." It took all of my emotional willpower not to throat punch him right then and there. I just said, "Well, it's not just the shots but what they do to you, too." And he said, "Oh, I know." Sure you do...

I pulled my mom aside later and asked her to please sit him down one day and explain what we're going through in a little more detail so that he can stop making insensitive comments. We didn't share this information with our family so that they can make it harder - we were hoping for their support - which we have gotten from everyone except for him. I know he doesn't mean to be hurtful, but it really does hurt me.

SweetTea420 · May 2013

Yesterday we were over at DH's grandma's house and I mentioned that DH had to take me to the doctor in the morning, and all of a sudden his whole family starts talking about having kids and when they had kids, etc. When we were leaving my FIL pointed at his eyes and then me in a "I'm watching you" kind of gesture. Poor guy probably thinks we're expecting!

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