Elective C section Anxiety

dparisi82 · May 2013

Hello,
First, understand that it takes a lot of courage for me to write this and seek out advice. Here's my story. I am almost 16 weeks pregnant and have had extreme anxiety over thinking about labor and delivery since week 6. My sister had a bit of a traumatic experience so I think that is what triggered this. The weird part is, this was a planned pregnancy and I would get upset each month I wasn't pregnant. Anyways, in the past several weeks, I've been to the ER a couple times for hyperventilating, I'm on meds, see a therapist, and pretty much obsess about labor and delivery every day. I'm not myself, I'm suffering, I can't focus, and spend most of my time in bed feeling anxious and fearful.

With that being said, what r your thoughts on an elective planned c sections. Please be honest but respectful as this is a very sensitive issue for me.

rm2013 · May 2013

I had a tough recovery and wouldn't wish a c section on my worst enemy. Nor would I ever voluntarily sign up for this. But that's me, some ladies had smooth experiences and loved it. Just be prepared that it's not guaranteed to be an easy thing. I'd rather take my chances on a vaginal delivery.

FWIW, i was always scared of delivering the baby. I did 10 hours of labor before having a section, 6 with no pain meds, and the labor was not a big deal. On the other hand, I did almost have a breakdown weeks post surgery bc of the pain, and bc I couldn't take care of myself or my baby. Just consider everything carefully, and good luck with whatever you decide!

rm2013 · May 2013

Ok, after rereading your OP, this may be a little out there, but why don't you try the Hypnobabies home study course? I'm not recommending you go natural, but the audio sessions are all geared towards eliminating your fear of childbirth and pain, and using self hypnosis to go to a "happy place". Since you mention all the issues you're having, I think it could really help you.

Cinnamon Haze · May 2013

Im just curious about 2 things.

1. when you were planning your pregnancy, where was all of this anxiety... ?

2. have you been told that an elective 'major surgery' was an option by your Dr?

C sections should be a last resort, not a go to.

The extended healing process after a c section could send someone in your position into a severe depression. Please do yourself the favor of getting all the info you can before setting your mind on a certain path.

It's one day out of your entire life but a choice you can never undo and may possibly make things much worse for you than what you are dealing with now.

good luck.

Bacgrad · May 2013

I elected to have a cesarean as well, you are not alone! And yes, their are many doctors that do not have a problem with this and YES their is a medical term for women so frightened if vaginal deliveries that doctors can say medically a cesarean is necessary. We just took a class on childbirth and they covered this. The nurse that taught my class had given birth both ways and said she recommended a cesarean if you have the option and that her vaginal delivery really messed her up. The doctors let her go too long in pushing and she tore really bad. I'm not an authority on this topic nor do I work in the medical field but I trust my OB and I trust my hospital. This forum needed a balance of opinions and FACTS! Good luck to you!

DonnaMartinGraduates · May 2013

If you are spending your day in bed anxious and fearful, I think you need to try new meds. Does your OB know you are feeling this way? That's no way to live for anyone!

If you did schedule a csection, do you not think you'd have anxiety about that as well? Because I've had two sections and knowing I have to have a third one kinda scares me, but I really don't have any choice. As others have said, it's major surgery and will affect any future pregnancies you have. What kind of experience did your sister have, if you don't mind me asking? You don't have to share if you aren't comfortable.

Courtimilk · May 2013

My advice, avoid all of the horror stories surrounding labor and delivery. I think you are too anxious about all of the ''what-ifs'' as opposed to anticipating the final moments of your journey before holding your child for the first time.

mnj05 · May 2013

I think you've been given some good advice already but wanted to add this. The number of women who experience a traumatic delivery like your sister is pretty low. With all of the women in my life that I've known who delivered naturally and even with reading a lot of birth stories on here, there's only one that had a horrible experience. Odds are you would have a decent delivery but as stated before, you need to look at your options in depth and go from there with your doctor.

lnvazquez · May 2013

I am recovering from a csection now. This is horrific! I wanted a natural vaginal birth without meds but placental abruption at 36.4 weeks changed that really quick. I would not wish this on anyone. I am in so much pain and the world doesn't stop bc you had surgery. After this I can only pray for a vaginal delivery next time.

Caitlin224 · May 2013

I appreciate that this is a difficult thing for you to discuss and I think it is really wise that you are being proactive about identifying, planning and seeking counseling since you feel it is disrupting your daily life.

I have had both types of deliveries. I would absolutely prefer a vaginal birth than a c-section. It seemed to me that during the vaginal delivery, my body naturally took over. Your body is made to do this. It was hormones, emotions, adrenaline, some prehistoric knowledge in my body knowing how to get that baby out. And then it was.....out, born! And then that is when the awesome began. The cycle was completed and you get all that feel good, cuddle, everything is perfect feeling.

With the c-section, remember you are having surgery, wide awake, not "twilighted" before you are taken in to the OR. There is a good 20 minutes of doctors and nurses talking and prepping while you are totally naked and alert and it's really bright and slightly odd. You do feel, you are rarely totally completely numb, thought you don't really feel pain - you feel pressure and hands inside your guts. Then the baby is taken away to be checked, you probably will get to see him first for a second or two. After the baby is delivered, you are still just laying there on the table and they start putting you back together and stitching/stapling you up. Probably within the hour you will get to hold your little precious and will eventually get back to your room. Then....welcome to the suck.

Obviously, I am not the most fond of my c-section experience and I am sure other mothers would think the exact opposite. Since I had both, I feel the major difference is this....your body is made to "complete the process." With a c-section, I felt like my body was a little confused after and it had a difficult time trying to recover and "mom." It was like the "worst" was over with that last push and the worst was yet to come with the c-section.

Having said all that, I too am experiencing apprehension over impending c-section. I think it's important to realize that you are kinda supposed to be nervous. Don't convince yourself that you are supposed to be feeing 100% super confident. You are a mom NOW and you are worrying about your baby.

dparisi82 · May 2013

Thank you everyone for your replies. I appreciate your honesty and the respectful comments. I am leaning more toward a natural delivery with epi. My biggest fear has really nothing to do with the laboring part since I know women have been doing this for years . Well, I really have two fears, the epidural not working properly and feeling everything while pushing or having to be rushed to an emergency c section after being in labor for so long. In a nutshell, these are the circumstances involved in my sisters labor.

It's not that I really want a c section, I just don't want an emergency c section . Maybe I just don't know enough about the two and maybe it's the same recovery process and procedure. The last thing that I would want happening is the epidural wearing off in the middle of the c section. By I'm sure in those cases, other meds would be given to you in your iv.

erinm619 · May 2013

First, I think you should ultimately decide what is best for you and your baby. Having dealt with anxiety problems since I was a kid, I completely understand how debilitating anxiety can be, especially at a time such a labor and delivery, when you need to give it all you got. I had a planned c section, that was more or less elective, and I don't regret it. Our baby had an issue with her cord and while I could have chosen to have a vaginal birth, there were risks involved and I didn't want to risk something happening to my baby so we decided it was best to go ahead with a c section. With that said, I am a week and 2 days post partum and it has not been easy recovering. The surgery itself wasn't awful, and the first few days I felt like superwoman. But around day 4 post partum blues set in, the constipation was awful, and breast feeding has been a huge challenge for me, especially with a c section when it hurts to be in certain positions. Now I have a UTI from the catheter that they put in so I feel like its always something. So I definately wouldn't say having a c section is the easy way out by any means. But if having a more "scheduled" birth will help with your anxiety, then maybe that is the best thing for you. It's defiantly worth talking to you dr about for sure! Good luck!

ippichic · May 2013

Just an attempt to balance out the replies... I had a scheduled c-section with DS six years ago and it was absolutely uneventful and I had a very easy recovery. I was up and functioning within a day of coming home. C-sections are very common these days and although major surgery, not always as awful as they are made out to be. A scheduled c-section is much more controlled and calm than an emergency c-section. Laboring and then having a c-section is the worst of all, you have all the negatives from both options.

I am scheduled for a c-section again in 1 week and I have absolutely no anxiety at all. I recommend if you are going to do it, that you schedule it, and not leave it to fate.

There are definitely meds out there for anxiety that are safe during pregnancy. Talk to your OB to understand what they recommend. Just don't suffer through the rest of your pregnancy! Good luck!

Cinnamon Haze · May 2013

Bacgrad:
I elected to have a cesarean as well, you are not alone! And yes, their are many doctors that do not have a problem with this and YES their is a medical term for women so frightened if vaginal deliveries that doctors can say medically a cesarean is necessary. We just took a class on childbirth and they covered this. The nurse that taught my class had given birth both ways and said she recommended a cesarean if you have the option and that her vaginal delivery really messed her up. The doctors let her go too long in pushing and she tore really bad. I'm not an authority on this topic nor do I work in the medical field but I trust my OB and I trust my hospital. This forum needed a balance of opinions and FACTS! Good luck to you!

Relating what someone said to you is not a balance of facts.

It is 3rd party antidote, at best.

What a silly post.

Cristine · May 2013

dparisi82:
Thank you everyone for your replies. I appreciate your honesty and the respectful comments. I am leaning more toward a natural delivery with epi. My biggest fear has really nothing to do with the laboring part since I know women have been doing this for years . Well, I really have two fears, the epidural not working properly and feeling everything while pushing or having to be rushed to an emergency c section after being in labor for so long. In a nutshell, these are the circumstances involved in my sisters labor. It's not that I really want a c section, I just don't want an emergency c section . Maybe I just don't know enough about the two and maybe it's the same recovery process and procedure. The last thing that I would want happening is the epidural wearing off in the middle of the c section. By I'm sure in those cases, other meds would be given to you in your iv.

I've had both an emergency c-section and a planned c-section. Of the two, the emergency c-section was actually easier then the planned. I preferred the epidural to spinal. I reacted badly to the spinal and couldn't stop vomiting. Recovery was about the same. The only benefit to the planned was that I wasn't exhausted afterwords. It took several hours for the epidural/spinal to wear off, and both of my c-sections were over within a half hour so I wouldn't worry about the epidural wearing off. If you have the option vaginal is definitely the way to go, but if you have to have a c-section it iwll be ok.

Cinnamon Haze · May 2013

right? what the heck?!

she may have said that to a person in the class as an aside, but certainly Not as part of her lesson....

Also, hospitals have policies, a Dr cannot just do anything they want.

JSabs09 · May 2013

Regardless of if you have a vaginal birth or c section, there's still anxiety so it's good that you're seeing a therapist. Unfortunately birth is truly out of your control - you never know what's going to happen so you need just think positive thoughts and do the best you can to prepare - most likely everything's going to be perfectly fine. I had a c section because my daughter was a footling breech and my first so my hospital and doctor would not allow me to try a vaginal birth. I understand it's nerve wracking but I would not elect for a c section unless it's medically necessary - my recovery was great but it's still a longer recovery than a vaginal birth. I said in the beginning there's still anxiety regardless - I was pretty nervous never having had a major surgery before and wound up pretty doped up (not put under) - I missed the actual birth. So regardless of your choice or what happens, you'll need to work to stay calm and positive. I would try for the vaginal birth and I would also suggest getting your anxiety controlled now because stress can affect your pregnancy. Good luck.

MAprincess · May 2013

MelRC117:
Cinnamon Haze:
Bacgrad:
I elected to have a cesarean as well, you are not alone! And yes, their are many doctors that do not have a problem with this and YES their is a medical term for women so frightened if vaginal deliveries that doctors can say medically a cesarean is necessary. We just took a class on childbirth and they covered this. The nurse that taught my class had given birth both ways and said she recommended a cesarean if you have the option and that her vaginal delivery really messed her up. The doctors let her go too long in pushing and she tore really bad. I'm not an authority on this topic nor do I work in the medical field but I trust my OB and I trust my hospital. This forum needed a balance of opinions and FACTS! Good luck to you!
Relating what someone said to you is not a balance of facts.
It is 3rd party antidote, at best.
What a silly post.
i was thinking the same thing. I also doubt the education of this childbirth instructor if she's telling everyone to just get a CS. Apparently having your abdomen cut open is NBD compared to tearing.
ETA: I'm not downplaying vaginal deliveries either, but saying to just have a CS to avoid the POSSIBILITY of major tearing is ridiculous.

I had an emergency c/s after a long labor and my recovery was average. I VBACed my second child. An hour after delivery I felt good enough to go home and carry about my business. I also tore during that delivery. Vaginal recovery was MUCH easier for me. I am really independent and hated that people had to help with things after the c/s even for a week.

I totally understand the anxiety. I assure you, it's there for all of us regardless of the manner of birth. For me, I'd never opt for major abdominal surgery over a vaginal birth. The four times higher likelihood of death was enough to deter me. (which is a fact- for the looney who pointed out facts need to be in here after she admitted to getting birth advice from someone who should not be a nurse! Good lord!)

OP- talk to your doctor about this. No manner of birth is easy, trust me. There is work involved:-) But no two births are the same and there is no reason to think your experience will mirror your sister. Look at me- one emergency c/s and one easy VBAC. Aside from a healthy baby in the end, nothing was the same during the two births. Good luck!

Almostmrsblackmon · May 2013

I chose to have a c-section as well. ( If you have anxiety about labor and delivery it does sometimes help to read up and watch videos. ) The reasons behind me choosing was because my mother had me c-section, and in a way I wanted the same thing for my child (call me crazy i know). But I honestly was terrified of ripping open and a number of other things all because of my friends talking!! If I could go back I would probably still choose a c-section. It hurt pretty bad the morning, and even a couple weeks after but overall I was so happy with my delivery!

Ardmhs83 · May 2013

rm2013:
I had a tough recovery and wouldn't wish a c section on my worst enemy. Nor would I ever voluntarily sign up for this. But that's me, some ladies had smooth experiences and loved it. Just be prepared that it's not guaranteed to be an easy thing. I'd rather take my chances on a vaginal delivery. FWIW, i was always scared of delivering the baby. I did 10 hours of labor before having a section, 6 with no pain meds, and the labor was not a big deal. On the other hand, I did almost have a breakdown weeks post surgery bc of the pain, and bc I couldn't take care of myself or my baby. Just consider everything carefully, and good luck with whatever you decide!

I would never wish a c section on my worst enemy either. Remember their are more risks and chances of things going wrong with a c section than a vaginal delivery. I had PPD and PPA after my son, so I know how awful fear and anxiety is. It is crippling. I'm sorry you are experiencing this. Do more research about vaginal delivery vs c section, talk to your obgyn and your therapist. If all else fails, talk about the use of needed meds during pregnancy.

Good luck!

Ardmhs83 · May 2013

Cinnamon Haze:
Bacgrad:
I elected to have a cesarean as well, you are not alone! And yes, their are many doctors that do not have a problem with this and YES their is a medical term for women so frightened if vaginal deliveries that doctors can say medically a cesarean is necessary. We just took a class on childbirth and they covered this. The nurse that taught my class had given birth both ways and said she recommended a cesarean if you have the option and that her vaginal delivery really messed her up. The doctors let her go too long in pushing and she tore really bad. I'm not an authority on this topic nor do I work in the medical field but I trust my OB and I trust my hospital. This forum needed a balance of opinions and FACTS! Good luck to you!
Relating what someone said to you is not a balance of facts.
It is 3rd party antidote, at best.
What a silly post.

agreed!

RayRay007 · May 2013

I may be late to the game and haven't read the rest of the replies, but if labour and delivery have you this worked up already, chances are you won't have a successful vaginal labour and delivery. I would work on educating yourself about what labour and delivery entails, the risks and the benefits. If you learn to understand the pain and process of labour you might be better able to manage. It won't be this scary unknown thing full of trauma. However, if you still have these feelings when the time comes, it might be a situation where an elective c/s is warranted.

CindyRelluh · May 2013

I suffer from anxiety, so I know that it is a serious thing, HOWEVER, a CS is major surgery. I had one with DD almost two years ago, and it was a long road to recovery. I don't think that doctors should even be allowed to give someone a CS unless medically necessary. Hospitals have everything you need to be made as comfortable as possible during the labor process, and while it does cause some anxiety, I can tell you I had a much worse time coping with the fact that I was going to get my abdomen cut open. Surgery is no joke, and while there are risks with both, there are more risks with a CS. I encourage you to just breathe, and just TRY laboring on your own, because who knows, maybe it will be a cake walk for you!

With DD I had no idea i was even IN labor, because the contractions just felt like Braxton Hicks, and those are nothing to me. You will always hear horror stories, it is part of being pregnant. Just remember that every woman is different, and you CAN do it.

LittleFish1 · May 2013

I was nervous before labor; my big focus was on preventing a double recovery (was not interested in completly tiring myself out, getting part way through labor and then needing a csection because had seen a friend do everything to avoid a csection and then need one because her pelvis wasnt wide enough) ... was worried about pain meds as well. Definitly talk with your doctor, however the thought that helped me move past my nerves was something a kinder teacher told her kids, the dr will help mom to have her baby. Trust that your medical team will do what is best to bring your baby safely into the world, while trying to uphold your wishes. My csection was unplanned, but when it was brought up during labor, I made the decision to go ahead and do the csection (rather than waiting and having a strong probability of it becoming an emergency csection). In our situation, it was the best decision. I do not regret it at all because it definitly would have become an emergency csection if we had waited. The epideral was fantastic and held through the surgery. Recovery was good.

Heather2884 · May 2013

I had a planned c-section. My pregnancy was very complicated and the risk to my health carried too many unknowns to risk a normal delivery. The unknowns caused me extreme anxiety. My doctor and I decided on a scheduled c-section, but the medical reason listed was anxiety. Deep down, you know your body and your limits. I suffer from a genetic mutation that is very rare. I knew my body was going to physically crash and leave me in much worse condition that recovering from a major surgery. The c-section eliminated complications that would have put me in a very risky and unknown situation. Even under these circumstances, my doctor and I discussed it for 3 weeks before scheduing a date, she had me talk to a counselor (which was very good), and in the end the best decision was made. I loved my c-section and would not want to go any other way. However, I was still basically crashing and don't remember the first 10 hours of my daughters life. After she was born and I saw her, my blood sugar crashed and I barely remember anything until 10:00 that night. With a vaginal delivery I would have been out of it for several days. Most importantly, discuss your fears with your Dr and you will come to the best decision for you and your baby together. My c-section was the easiest thing I did, but my pregnancy was nightmarish. You have time to think about it, take some time. Good luck!

salt78 · May 2013

I say do whatever is best for you. If you are completely paralyzed with fear by the thought of being in labor, then I wouldn't judge you for having a c-section. I was one of those people who had a really good experience with mine and if we were having another, I wouldn't even care to attempt a v-bac.

That said, while I wasn't afraid of the possibility of ending up with a c-section if that's the way my labor went, I wouldn't have opted for one in the beginning. Mine was an emergency deal because when it came time to push, DD was stuck. Beforehand, I had an epidural and it was amazing. Maybe you could just go that route instead? It's not all or nothing...c-section or med-free. The epidural was awesome and I couldn't feel an ounce of pain. I spent the vast majority of my labor joking around with my husband and watching Food Network.

HattieDornbush · May 2013

I had a vaginal birth with my son and an emergency csection with my twins. I would not recommend a csection unless it is medically necessary. I had good experiences with both, but my csection recovery was definitely worse and longer.

Janetbelcher · May 2013

I will be having my 4 th baby and will most likely have another csection we had to do one with our first because he wasn't progressing thru the birth canal drs said his head was turned and just kinda got stuck so after that we did schedule them so not to risk the scar opening during delivery. I wouldn't plan on a cs unless it was medically nessesary most drs won't any how just go into this planning for a healthy delivery that is safe for your baby and u! Also the second time was better than the 1 st for me a I wasn't scared of the unknown and was up and moving around the room that same afternoon good luck!

1017Shannon · May 2013

I had an awful delivery and recovery with my first and decided to have a c section with my second. I am well aware it is a major surgery but I will not mentally be able to recover from another bad recovery. It is a personal decision but I would say try vaginally first...out of me and 6 of my friends...i was the only one with a bad recovery. All 6 friends had no problems. You will probably be one with no problems!!

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