traveling after the baby is born

Monkeybutt80 · May 2013

seeking advice here as a FTM...

I am due on June 11 (and obviously, the baby could be here early or late) and every year, my in laws have a huge family reunion during the fourth of july week approximately 5 hours away drive from where we live. This year, this reunion will be from June 29th till July 6th. I think it will be great for us to go for a couple of days (not the whole week but maybe 3 days) because the great grandparents and the entire extended family on his side will be there and they will get to meet the baby (they are all scattered around the east coast and we normally dont see any of them except at the annual reunion).

Assuming that the baby arrives right around the due date, my husband thinks it's just too soon to take a baby to a new place, where there will be 20+ adults and 10+ kids being rowdy and "carrying all sorts of germs". He also thinks that it will be difficult as we will still be trying to get used to the routines of feeding and such as first time parents. Our baby will be about 3 weeks old.

for what it's worth; it's at my in laws' beach house, we will have our own room with an attached bathroom. People get rowdy and party late, but our room is somewhat secluded so it wont be too noisy at night, and we can also retreat to our room during the day if needed.

Am I naive in thinking that this trip would be a good idea or is he correct that at 3 weeks, it's just too soon to expose the baby to so many people all at once?

Thanks in advance!

RissNRuss · May 2013

Our families are HUGE 4th of July people as well. We have four options- one is a day trip (about 90 minutes away) with probably 30 people, one would be a weekender (about 3 hours away) and really low key with just some family- maybe 6 of us besides baby, another is a long trek (from NYC to the White Mountains of NH) and we would not have our own space there (kids all share a room, and this would be one of 6, adults on a separate floor). The fourth option is to just stay home.

At this point we will likely stay home, at approx. 3 weeks old I'm not sure we'll be ready for the travel quite yet. If we change our minds it would be one of the two shorter trips, because we have alot more flexibility and we'd also either be able to leave if we wanted, or have private space for us and Baby in a fairly controlled environment.

needanustart · May 2013

I think you may have to make a last minute call on it. If it were me, 3 weeks would be too soon, but that being said we then made a 5 hour drive to my parents at 5 weeks old when I felt a little better about nursing and had stopped bleeding. If you are nursing, and have an eater like I did a 5 hour car trip can turn into a 10 hour car trip! I wouldn't be as concerned about the germs and the sleeping once you are there, because it sounds like you can kind of go into your own space but the whole production of travel at 3 weeks may be a bit too much.

melissa0726 · May 2013

Eh, if it were me, I would not plan on going.

We have an almost identical situation. I'm due the 9th, we have a huge family/friend vacation over 4th of July weekend about 5-6 hours away. We backed out of the trip very early on.

After my delivery with M, there was no way I could have handled a trip like that. I was too sore, too exhausted, and I really didn't even want visitors at our place for more than 2 hours at a time. And forget going out visiting for more than 2 hours. I just wanted to be in the comfort of my home where we could quietly recover and adjust.

Plus, besides how you might be feeling, I wouldn't be comfortable doing all that with a three week old. Just my personal feeling!

nwallace · May 2013

call me crazy but I would go. I wouldn't go for the whole trip but I would go for a few days. If it gets too hard you can always pack up and head back home. We are taking our little one and our 3 year old on vacation with my family about 3 weeks after he is born. I'm nervous about the no schedule and feeding situation but we're both pretty laid back and we're just going to figure it out on the fly.

tiffletons518 · May 2013

calikat80:
I think you may have to make a last minute call on it. If it were me, 3 weeks would be too soon, but that being said we then made a 5 hour drive to my parents at 5 weeks old when I felt a little better about nursing and had stopped bleeding. If you are nursing, and have an eater like I did a 5 hour car trip can turn into a 10 hour car trip! I wouldn't be as concerned about the germs and the sleeping once you are there, because it sounds like you can kind of go into your own space but the whole production of travel at 3 weeks may be a bit too much.

All of this. If you don't have to give a for sure answer right now, I wouldn't. Be easier if you can play it by ear.

jane.says · May 2013

I think it will depend on how you are feeling and what your baby's personality is like. I would be a little worried about having the baby around that many people for an extended period of time, but not everyone worries about those types of things. If it were me, I'd wait and see and decide closer to the event.

homebird · May 2013

I would go. Having a baby didn't stop me from traveling or visiting family. In fact, we took a trip to see family when DD was about 3-4 weeks old. It was nbd. I don't get uptight about germs either. People are too anxious about stuff like that, imo.

bridetobe920 · May 2013

We traveled 7 hours to see DH's family after DD was born (but, she was 5 weeks old at the time, and he has a pretty small family). The difference from 3 weeks to 5 weeks was big for me, because by 5 weeks, I had stopped pp bleeding and was a little more comfortable.

Still, to be honest, we might have gone at 3 weeks if it worked out that way. We were traveling by car, so we could take as much stuff as we needed to. It was important for us that DH's grandparents see DD as soon after she was born as possible, since they can't travel to us at this point.

It might have to be a judgement call as it gets closer for you guys...

mommakristydawn · May 2013

I would go! Sounds like fun. You are going to be with family so that means lots of loving people willing to help with the new baby if you needed. I wouldn't be worried about germs, that is the best part of having Summer babies. Have fun and show off your new baby! ;

AZMagnini14 · May 2013

I would go. Just have low expectations of what you will do when you are there. Not many outings, more relaxing around the house. You can always retreat to your room like you said.

ASmallWonder · May 2013

Total game time decision, IMO. The first issue is that you could be only 1 week post partum if you go two weeks late (a very real possibility). The second issue is whether or not you have a csection and even with a vaginal delivery, you may not feel up to it. If you're breastfeeding and having any issues, you may just be getting the hang of things. There are SO many factors. I can say NOW that I probably could have done this trip with my first son but would have been stopped with issue #1 regardless because he WAS two weeks late. You just can't plan it, sorry to say.

Monkeybutt80 · May 2013

ok, it sounds like I should just "wait and see". Which is fine because we don't need to book anything in advance and we can probably decide last minute without causing any issues with the hosts. The funny thing is that I was so focused on whether or not it's ok for the baby, I hadn't even thought of the possibility that I could still be recovering and not feeling up to the travel and being away from my home. Thanks ladies for all the advice!

skio · May 2013

I wouldn't go. We have something similar; a big family vacation at my uncle's lake house in Vermont for the fourth also about 5 to 6 hours away, and I haven't even considered going. It's just too far and too soon with too many variables to consider.

I think my limit for traveling is probably around 8w; after we've established a decent eating/sleeping schedule and after she has had he first round of shots.

Calysto999 · May 2013

Be sure to check w. your pediatrician to see if they recommend having some vaccinations completed prior to any travel and exposure. I am super antsy to travel and will be waiting until she is 6 months old - not just for her but so I have time to recover.

Wyogirl17 · May 2013

Play it by ear. With my first it wouldn't have been a good idea but with my second she was a fantastic eater and I felt great two weeks after so that kind of trip would have been fun and easy.

emolm · May 2013

Too soon.

LaBellaVida · May 2013

For me...that would be too soon. 3 weeks you will still be adjusting to baby. You never know what kind of delivery you will have either, and you will still be healing. For me also, being as though it's family members I would worry about exposing my baby to so many different germs.

superace27 · May 2013

I would not go. At 3 weeks PP I still wasn't feeling great, was exhausted and DD1 was nursing all the time - a 2 hour stretch in between feedings was great! So the car ride would have been miserable for me and the drive would have been much much longer with all the necessary stops.

On top of that, I wouldn't have been comfortable passing the baby around to everyone, so that would have caused me unnecessary stress.

clarec216 · May 2013

I'm in the exact same situation- we have a family wedding 4th of July weekend. We're playing it by ear- we're gonna see when LO arrives, and how I'm feeling by then. Luckily the bride was very understanding when I told her we're a "maybe". I would love for the whole family to meet the baby, but it might be too soon. So we're just gonna wait and see how we're all feeling.

JenGrl8503 · May 2013

DD1 was born Nov 29 and at 2 and a half weeks we drove 10 hours to my inlaws where we stayed for a little over a week, then 5 hours from inlaws to my parents for another week before doing the 12 hour drive home...we thought it would be easier to take DD to the family for the holidays rather than have guests for weeks on end...we both have big families

A big perk was not being responsible for cooking or cleaning for those two weeks...loved that!

ckettenb · May 2013

I took my kid to a birthday party at 2 weeks. And to a wedding (which involved a 6 hour road trip) at 5 weeks.

Honestly - it's not the environment (the people, the noise, the craziness) that would concern me - it's the schlepping ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLL your stuff to and from. it is AMAZING how much crap you will decide you NEED those first few weeks.

AutumnOracle · May 2013

I will play it by ear, but my husband's family has a huge gathering on the 4th as well. My doctor has scheduled induction for the 2nd(so that she is in town, otherwise I would be induced a couple of days later when she is not), so likely I will be getting out of the hospital on the 4th(this is assuming I go late and not early or on time like I hope).

We are tentatively planning on attending the party (only 20 minutes from our house), where between 5-20 family members will show up. But I have already reserved the right to cancel should I not feel like it. Or seclude myself and baby in one of the guest bedrooms as my in-laws house has something like 12 bedrooms.

AbbeyGirlBride · May 2013

If it were me, I'd try to go. But that's because our family is so spread out, it would make it a ton easier to introduce little guy to all of them without needing costlier (and probably more difficult) plane travel.

My sister and BIL took their son when he was 2 weeks old on a 3-day train ride (SF to Chicago) to visit family. They stayed for 2 weeks then flew back when he was a month old. No problem. After that they took him to Rwanda when he was 6 months old, and had his sister over there.

Biggest concern to me would be that you get enough rest, peace and quiet, and that the family understands your & baby's activities will be limited to what you can handle. If everyone is on the same page (including your DH), then I'd try to go.

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