Feel like a bad mom

leasaj · May 2013

I'm having a rough time then last few days. I question whether my OK is getting enough bm so pediatrician has me following nursing with formula. This makes me feel like a failure. Baby has had diaper rash for over two weeks...got prescriptionnfrom Dr for ointment and still hasn't cleared up. LO is fussy for hours each night and NOTHING helps. The last 2 days it seems as if she's awake not eating then she's fussy and/or crying. I can get her to sleep but as soon as i put her down she wakes up. I'm getting frustrated with her and myself.....which makes me feel even worse. Its 530 here and I've been up since 1230 with a fussy baby. All this time to think has me questioning my mothering abilities. Sorry to rant but needed to vent. Any advise or anyone else feeling like this?

Lovemyfireman1 · May 2013

Lurking from May but you're not a bad mom. I wasn't producing much milk with my second and supplemented with formula. You know what she gained weight, slept better and we were both happier. I should have done it sooner. If your baby is fussy try the oven vent or a hair dryer and a dark room. Usually calms them down. Of course swaddling and gas drops help too. Just my 0.02. Good luck and take a deep breath. This is cake compared to a stubborn toddler! Ha!

mypalbabs · May 2013

It sounds like you have a fussy baby and you're sleep deprived. That is a really difficult combination.

Are you the only adult living at your house? Can someone else take part of the overnight shift of soothing baby? If there's no one at night, can someone care for the baby for a few hours during the day so you can get some sleep? I promise, this will all seem much more manageable if you can sleep for a bit.

Murraydog · May 2013

There is nothing like a fussy baby to make you question your mothering ability! Hang in there!

I'm not sure what else you are doing about the diaper rash other than the ointment but I would switch brands of diapers. Your baby could be allergic to the brand you're using and that is causing the rash. Diaper rash is the worst! That could be adding to your super fussy baby. Also gas drops and swaddling super tight we use the cheater swaddlers with Velcro really helps. At first my baby is mad about the swaddle but after a min of a snuggling all swaddled up he calms down and is so happy! He also loves the bathroom fan while in the swing.

Hang in there momma! You are doing great!!

08summerbride · May 2013

You are definitely not a failure. Unfortunately one of the joys of motherhood is tying their actions, accomplishments and setbacks to your ability as a mom even when things are out of your control. Things will get better and you Just need to do what you need to keep you sane and happy as well as doing what's best fir baby. I BF because it is easy, But if I had major difficulties I would definitely switch to formula. She will grow out of the fussiness and you will be confident in what you are doing...most of the time ;. And before you know it you might be crazy enough to do it all over again :

babyonthebrain2010 · May 2013

kravenmoore:
You are not a bad mother. For starters, you have not given up! You are staying up all night to try and sooth your sweet little one. You two are figuring each other out and this takes time. It may be difficult but try to focus on the positive! You are a fantastic mom and these issues will soon be a thing of the past!

This, exactly! Your frustrations are totally normal and you are not alone. Babies are hard to figure out.

Kate_C · May 2013

Have you ever considered bed sharing? I know it isn't for everyone but it might help with sleep. DD is super fussy when we try to put her down for the night but is fine and will sleep for a good 4 hours if we bring her to bed with us. After the middle of the night feeding, she will usually go back to her bassinet. Might be worth a try to get caught up on sleep.

You are not a failure! Your baby is healthy and fed and loved. All kids go through difficult phases. Hopefully you can find a way to get yourself some rest. You will make it through this!

huskies09 · May 2013

I know it doesnt feel like it, but your doing your best and that is all that matters! I had to supplement my son because of breastfeeding issues too. He lost too much weight too fast, was dehydrated and jaundiced. He ended up being able to nurse but was already used to how easy the bottle was that now I am just pumping and giving him BM in the bottle. I was very torn up about not nursing him at first, but my husband pointed out that I was simply doing what was right for our son and thats what a good mommy does.

As far as the fussiness goes, it can be SO tiring. Just know that it will end. Remeber, at this age there is usually only 3 things that could be causing them to cry. Hungry, dirty diaper, or tired. If you've addressed the first two, then just holding/comforting baby while they fuss is all you can do.

Hang in there!

huskies09 · May 2013

Also, my little guy is pretty gassy so we supplemented with Enfamil Gentlease which is supossed to decrease fussiness and gas and I swear it has helped! Dont know if you would want to try that while your supplementing too.

ckhelsea · May 2013

I feel the same way.. you and I are going through the same thing! Sometimes my DD is gassy, but other times she just wants to sleep on a person, something I am trying to not let her do often. Frustrating. I just want to sleep!

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