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Natural Birth
Habs2Hart
member
xp from S13 - Anyone had/planning a home birth?
Habs2Hart
member
If so, how is your H taking it?
I hate my hospital. They are unorganized, it's old, the doctors are on call (a friend had to wait an hour for an emergency c/s) and they randomly send babies to a bigger hospital without informing mom/dad about it. There's no water to birth or even labour in and I just really don't like them. They are in the process of re-branding/organization and according to my paramedic friends, it's just a mess right now.
Anyway, we live max 7 minutes from hospital by ambulance. The idea of home birth in a birthing pool really appeals to me, but H is flat out saying no. He won't even listen to my side or why I dislike the hospital. He was even funny about having a mw instead of a dr at first. I still don't think he understands that midwives are specialists at birth and it's the only thing they do, whereas the dr's up here are jack of all trades and may see a handful of babies a month, whereas these ladies see them daily.
Anyway, just seeing how everyone else who is thinking about it is handling it with H.
I should add that I'm in Ontario and even if I do hospital birth, my primary and secondary MW will be the ones who are at the birthing and a dr. will still only be on call for an emergency. It's a small hospital in a small town and anything major gets air lifted to a larger hospital anyway. Also, there are no birthing centers, so that option is out.
Thanks so much!
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Re: xp from S13 - Anyone had/planning a home birth?
We had a home birth for our second. DH was initially a flat out no as well, concerned about it being a safe option, what about emergencies, etc. We watched the business of being born movie, and he became a tiny bit more open to discussing it. We met with some home birth midwives, and he was able to get all his questions and concerns addressed to his satisfaction. So, he was on board to plan a home birth. He would still not have chosen to birth at home if it was solely up to him, but he was supportive.
Afterward, he loved it, would recommend it to anyone, and would definitely do it again that way.
for a woman giving birth, it is so important to the actual birth process that she feels comfortable with her care. It sounds like that may be difficult for you at your local hospital.
My recommendation is to do a consultation appointment with a midwife just to explore the option, tell him there's no obligation, he can ask all his questions about the what-ifs, the "mess", etc, and you just feel like this could be a good fit, and potentially safer for you and the baby given the disarray at the hospital.
As of yesterday I officially switched to a midwife. There is 1 birth center in town, that (luckily) was willing to take me, so I am delivering there. If I change my mind, my midwife also does homebirths so that wouldn't be a problem. Anyway...
My SO was 100% against it at first: waterbirth, homebirth, midwife, etc. Anything that did not involve a hospital and OB he did not trust it. Now, he is 1000% on board with it. For us, I found that watching The Business of Being Born with him, and showing him books/stories/videos of waterbirths and homebirths changed his mind. I literally spent an entire weekend trying to convince him, and it worked. Ultimately, he agreed once he realized that it was safe, and what I really wanted.
Maybe try some of my methods. Your husband, like my SO, may not truly understand what's involved, especially if this is your first. Educating him may be the key. Additionally, my SO went with me to meet a midwife. He was able to ask all the questions he had: safety, success rates, what happens during an emergency, what training she had, etc. That may be a good option for you, too, before officially making the switch.
Good luck with everything!!!
BFP 3/29/2014 2u2 Let's do this!
Thanks guys. I already have a midwife and he's been to all my appointments and now feels comfortable with the level of care and education they have. My primary mw was a doula before going back to University and she's also an infant resuscitation specialist and instructor, so I feel like I am in very capable hands.
We were supposed to attend a home birth information night at the MW office but were unable to go but they will be having another once closer to my DD. I'm hoping I can have him chat with some of my friend's husbands who had home births and that will help.
Thanks for the suggestion of the business of being born. I will get that so we can watch it together! I think I'll also try to get us into a hospital tour and see if it makes me feel any better about the hospital.
Warning, bumping from mobile.
I had a HB with Dd after having Ds in a hospital with an OB. At first Dh said NO WAY. HBs were only for hippies
I too got Dh interested/informed by watching TBOBB. He still was not on board, so I asked him to compromise and speak with a HB MW just to feel it out. When we left the MW consult, Dh whispered "We are totally having a HB." 
Later in my pregnancy, we found out Dd was breech at 39w! We transfered to an OB who performed a successful version. My confidence was shaken and I wondered if that was my red flag and to just have Dd in the hospital. But Dh was my rock. He was the one to remind me why we chose a HB to begin with and helped to restore my confidence in my choices and my body. It was a crazy role reversal! He speaks about our HB to anyone who'll listen and is really proud.
GL mama, I hope you're able to sway him and have an amazing HB
We are planning a home birth at the end of June/early July. DH was not too fond of the idea at first. I convinced him to go to a meeting with a potential midwife and we talked, asked questions, and put all fears he had out on the table.
Can you get him to go meet with a midwife and talk? Clear the air? Lots of people see midwifes (especially those who attend home births) as little old ladies that bring a towel for you to bite down on, not a skilled birth attendant. Talking to one may help him realize that!
Little M 6/16/2013
Angel baby 5/17/2014
I'm sorry you're going through this. I can't help much as DH trusts in what my body can handle so he is letting me make all the decisions concerning pregnancy and childbirth. However my mom is the one that's completely against my plans and she is going to be around for the delivery as we live in other country and she is visiting.
So, I also don't know what to do to take her on board :S and time is running out!
Thanks guys. He's met my MW several times. He's only missed on appointment, but he's still freaked out.
I'm not sure why he trusts our hospital to do so well in emergencies. He sat with me in the ER for 2 hours when I was kicked in the head by a horse and was just as shocked as I was that when they finally saw me, they did no testing, didn't even clean my wound and just stitched me up and sent me on my way. Ya, they are great there. This was before the disorganization of the restructuring occurred.