new daycare worries. (longish)

sharinfaith · May 2013

back story: i work part time, and my parents didn't want to watch DD anymore during the week. i found (through the state's registered/licensed website thingy) Ms. Clair. we loved her! she was always prompt to answer the door, and very loving towards DD. i couldn't ask for anything better. unfortunately, she had to go back to a full time job, so she had to close the daycare's door.

after much searching, i found a lady around the corner from our house that charged a bit less. on her license report, she had no violations in 5 years. we went for an interview, and everything seemed okay. it wasn't Ms. Clair, but i knew that would be hard to find.

so today, i didn't have to work, but figured since we had paid her up front for the month that i could use the day for baby free errands and house cleaning. i pulled up to the house, got her out, and realized i left blankie at home. since she's just around the corner, i dropped DD off and of course she was upset. i told DCP that i would be right back. ran home, got blankie, and when i walked up to the door (5 min after i dropped her off) i could hear DD crying, i knocked on the door and there was no answer, so i peaked through the door's window. DD was there, trying to climb over the gate, covered in tears. DCP was no where to be found! i rang the bell and she finally answered the door.

i have a feeling that as soon as i left, DCP walked into the other room and left the kids (3 other children as well), with DD obviously upset. I picked DD up and she was soaked in tears. i knew i should've taken her with me then, but we had switched cars and the carseat was in the other car at the house. we ran some errands and i made DH go pick her up immediately.

am i overreacting? my first instinct is to find a different DCP immediately and never ever take her back there, money be damned. but DH said that it was only her second time there and she was just getting used to it.

memali26 · May 2013

I think you need to take a step back and assess the situation. It's very normal for a child to be upset when left with a new caregiver, and when they go through bouts of separation anxiety they might even get upset when left with a familiar caregiver. And if you forgot her comfort object, it might have even been a little harder for her.

As far as the DCP not answering the door right away, is it possible she was just using the bathroom? I babysit one child in my home, and there have been times I've had to take care of business and her mom had to knock twice before I could get to the door. I'm sure if someone peeked in my window at those moments and saw my two plus my extra all lined up at the gate trying to get to me they'd be concerned, too, but I'm just a few feet away and can hear everything. I just gate the hallway so I don't get little visitors in the restroom

I guess what I would do is talk to the DCP first. Find out if there was an acceptable reason the kids were in one room and she in another. Find out how she handles it when kids are so upset. In the end, if you aren't comfortable with her answers or anything else about the situation, then yes, find a new DCP. You have to trust the person you leave your child with, so once you've had a chance to calm down and process, go with your instincts.

ASmallWonder · May 2013

I know it's hard to see your child upset but IMO you're making a major assumption based on a tiny snapshot. I'm sure the other kids needed breakfast or maybe she was trying to find a toy in the other room to make your daughter smile or maybe like another poster said, she had to pee. I think it's a stretch to say that a lag in answering the door combined with your daughter "still" being upset when it had literally only been minutes since you left, signals an issue.

sharinfaith · May 2013

i see where you're both coming from. i just felt as though, if DD was still crying after 5 minutes, then she should have still been trying to console her. she stated that she was in the kitchen starting lunch (at 10:30am). also, when i left her there, the TV wasn't on, but when i picked her up it was, and turned to HGTV (not what i would consider to grab her attention, esp since we don't watch TV at home and DCP knew this).

but, this is only the second daycare she's been to, and the first one was a dream. Clair would always text me in 2 min when DD had settled down to tell me she was okay (above and beyond, i know, but still i was comforted).

Either way, i think i found someone new since i wrote this post. she's further away, and a few more dollars a day, but she sounds totally worth it.

Thank you for your input!

kalette · May 2013

I would leave asap! Jmho.

StacyJYay · May 2013

I'd switch day care providers. Something here seems off.

Kmalissa08 · May 2013

As mothers I think we have these instincts for a reason. If you have a bad feeling at all, I would switch providers. Nothing is more important than the care of your child.

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new daycare worries. (longish)

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