Any of you have a H who isn't on board — The Bump
Homeschooling

Any of you have a H who isn't on board

We are a little ways out from deciding whether or not to homeschool, but my husband isn't really sold on it. He listens to my opinions and whatnot, but I think it's hard for him to think outside of traditional schooling. Like I said, we have time. I'm not 100% on it yet, but HSing is a strong contender given the schools around here.  

If your H isn't/wasn't sure, how did you guys work that out?

PS- Hi! I'm Star. :)

PSS- Here's a good HSing article I read yesterday:  

 https://consciouslifenews.com/18-reasons-doctors-lawyers-homeschool-children/1152660/

Re: Any of you have a H who isn't on board

  • DH not being on board would be putting it lightly.  He's 100% opposed and we haven't really worked through it.  We've argued about it for a good 4+ months.  I gave it over to God and asked him if it was his will for us to HS for him to change DH's heart on the subject.  DH's heart never even softened to the idea so I "gave up".  DH knows that if he ever changes his mind I'm ready to HS and that I'll probably pray along their schooling that if it's ever time to HS to make DH open to the idea.  I know God's will could be no forever, but it could just be no for now.  There's no way even if DH said "do whatever you want" with an attitude that I could do it, there would be good and bad days, and without his support it would be impossible (and I'd never be able to vent to him about the bad days). 

    I'm coming more to terms with public school.  We originally agreed on private as a compromise, but I'd have to drive them 20-25 minues each way, and when DS1 is in 2nd grade and our twins are in K, I'd have to drive it 3x/day, plus even though the tuition is beyond reasonable (it's actually IN our church and our huge church pays a signifcant amount to keep the school running) to just send 1 kid K-8 (which is all they offer at the time), we could fill in the $82k gap in being able to fully fund their entire college.  So right now we've decided to probably send them to public, if we're not happy with it then we'll probably switch to the private school.


    GSx1 - 05/13/2013
    GSx2 for T&B - EDD 6/21/2015 - They're having a GIRL
    !
    babybaby
    BabyGaga
  • Hey, star!  Remember me?  :)

    DH wasn't on board at first.  I used DS1's food allergies as my initial reasoning for doing it and DH then decided that we would just do it for a few years until DS either outgrew the allergies or was old enough to handle them himself.  DH's fears initially were socialization (that our kids would be weird) and not having opportunities for sports (because that was a big part of his childhood).  

    After a while we started meeting some HS families and after seeing the kids DH realized they weren't weird or antisocial, and in fact they seemed more mature, polite and educated than their PSed peers.  He started getting into the idea and agreed we would just do it through elementary school.

    Well, then we started really thinking about our faith and what we were comfortable with our kids being exposed to at such a young age both by their peers and teachers who we didn't know.  We were reading stories in the news about things happening in the schools and it started to worry us.  

    I bought some documentaries (Indoctrination is one I can remember) and watched them together, prayed about it, and decided that we now wanted to HS through middle school too.

    DH is now completely on board.  I know that your faith is important to you and your DH, star, so I say just pray about it together.   I feel like homeschooling is something parents need to be called to do, because it is a HUGE commitment.  If God is leading you to do it, He will change your DH's mind and "unharden" his heart.

    Our plan now is to give our kids a choice at high school about what they want to do - continue HSing or go to a private school.  Sports are no longer a worry because we've found local leagues and other activities for the kids.  That makes DH happy!

    Good luck!  My advice is to try to meet some HS families so your husband can talk to them and see what they are like, and pray about it together.

        
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  • https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/72924525.aspx

    This question has been asked a couple of times. Here is my reply from earlier today and there's clicky link above. 

     https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/72619141.aspx

    This question was asked not too long ago. ^See clicky.

    DH is actually the one who convinced me. He had an answer for all of my questions and we researched together.

    Other than socialization, what are his concerns/questions? If your H is anything like mine he will need all of the facts. It doesn't matter how strongly you feel about it he needs concrete evidence.

    How do you plan to socialize? You need to have a plan. What activities will you enroll him in? Are there any homeschooling groups in your area? If not locally what can you do at the state level? Also, when bullying is such a major issue in all public schools can socialization, or lack of, really be used as an argument against homeschooling? (I don't think so.) There are plenty of ways to make sure kids are socialized without sending them to school for 8hours a day but you need to know what those options are and have a plan.

    Why do you want to homeschool? If your schools are really good then why should you homeschool? Our schools are terrible but even if they weren't we'd homeschool. Putting a strong emphasis on family is important to us. I know this can be done with kids in public school but I believe more so while homeschooling. Sheltering our child(ren) from certain things and being able to teach these things on our terms in our home is important to us. There are too many students and not enough teachers. I could go on and on but I would probably bore you.

    Since your H doesn't know anyone who was homeschooled or is homeschooling can you introduce him to someone? Ultimately, I really do believe that both parents must be on board with homeschooling for it to work. I suggest even proposing that you take it one year at a time and see how it goes. You can even start with Pre-K stuff or tot school. Best of luck!

    ETA: Klilly posted some awesome links about socialization. LOVE these!

     https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GjOXT_KSFhA

     https://homeschooling.penelopetrunk.com/2012/12/18/its-a-myth-that-school-is-good-for-socialization/

    https://www.unpluggedmom.com/wp-content/uploads/Unsocialized.pdf

    I'm feeling lazy so this is obviously my response from the other thread copy pasted.

     


    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • It's definitely my idea to homeschool and not DHs but he doesn't care. He let's me make those types of decisions.  

     

  • imageLatteLady5:

    https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/72924525.aspx

    This question has been asked a couple of times. Here is my reply from earlier today and there's clicky link above. 

     https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/72619141.aspx

    This question was asked not too long ago. ^See clicky.

    DH is actually the one who convinced me. He had an answer for all of my questions and we researched together.

    Other than socialization, what are his concerns/questions? If your H is anything like mine he will need all of the facts. It doesn't matter how strongly you feel about it he needs concrete evidence.

    How do you plan to socialize? You need to have a plan. What activities will you enroll him in? Are there any homeschooling groups in your area? If not locally what can you do at the state level? Also, when bullying is such a major issue in all public schools can socialization, or lack of, really be used as an argument against homeschooling? (I don't think so.) There are plenty of ways to make sure kids are socialized without sending them to school for 8hours a day but you need to know what those options are and have a plan.

    Why do you want to homeschool? If your schools are really good then why should you homeschool? Our schools are terrible but even if they weren't we'd homeschool. Putting a strong emphasis on family is important to us. I know this can be done with kids in public school but I believe more so while homeschooling. Sheltering our child(ren) from certain things and being able to teach these things on our terms in our home is important to us. There are too many students and not enough teachers. I could go on and on but I would probably bore you.

    Since your H doesn't know anyone who was homeschooled or is homeschooling can you introduce him to someone? Ultimately, I really do believe that both parents must be on board with homeschooling for it to work. I suggest even proposing that you take it one year at a time and see how it goes. You can even start with Pre-K stuff or tot school. Best of luck!

    ETA: Klilly posted some awesome links about socialization. LOVE these!

     https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GjOXT_KSFhA

     https://homeschooling.penelopetrunk.com/2012/12/18/its-a-myth-that-school-is-good-for-socialization/

    https://www.unpluggedmom.com/wp-content/uploads/Unsocialized.pdf

    I'm feeling lazy so this is obviously my response from the other thread copy pasted.

     

    I saw it well after I posted. Not sure how I missed it just a few posts down! Thanks. :) 

  • image+adamwife+:

    Hey, star!  Remember me?  :)

    DH wasn't on board at first.  I used DS1's food allergies as my initial reasoning for doing it and DH then decided that we would just do it for a few years until DS either outgrew the allergies or was old enough to handle them himself.  DH's fears initially were socialization (that our kids would be weird) and not having opportunities for sports (because that was a big part of his childhood).  

    After a while we started meeting some HS families and after seeing the kids DH realized they weren't weird or antisocial, and in fact they seemed more mature, polite and educated than their PSed peers.  He started getting into the idea and agreed we would just do it through elementary school.

    Well, then we started really thinking about our faith and what we were comfortable with our kids being exposed to at such a young age both by their peers and teachers who we didn't know.  We were reading stories in the news about things happening in the schools and it started to worry us.  

    I bought some documentaries (Indoctrination is one I can remember) and watched them together, prayed about it, and decided that we now wanted to HS through middle school too.

    DH is now completely on board.  I know that your faith is important to you and your DH, star, so I say just pray about it together.   I feel like homeschooling is something parents need to be called to do, because it is a HUGE commitment.  If God is leading you to do it, He will change your DH's mind and "unharden" his heart.

    Our plan now is to give our kids a choice at high school about what they want to do - continue HSing or go to a private school.  Sports are no longer a worry because we've found local leagues and other activities for the kids.  That makes DH happy!

    Good luck!  My advice is to try to meet some HS families so your husband can talk to them and see what they are like, and pray about it together.

    Of course I remember you!! Thanks for the advice. :) 

  • Thanks for all the thoughts!
    DD 2.9.10 DS born sleeping 12.2.12
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