making a will

MinnesotaMomma91 · May 2013

So i know this may sound silly but my dad suggested i make a will so that i can dictate who gets my son if anything happens to me. His biological dad has no interest in even seeing him. And i dont want to ask my sisters or parents. Would it be acceptable to ask a good friend until my boyfriend and i are in a place that i feel okay asking that of him

babymama619 · May 2013

I think so. I just asked my BFF and her fiance this past weekend. I have a 19 yo sister, so it hardly seems fair to ask her and my parents are nearing retirement. While I'm sure they would take the child, it doesn't seem fair to either the kid or the parents.

I am going to have a formal document drawn up before birth just in case anything freaky happens during delivery. Also I am going to look into a life insurance policy b/c i would hate for my child to be a burden on a family that took him/her in. However I think I may put the funds under the control of someone else, perhaps my parents. I have heard this is a wise thing to do just in case.

DorisWE · May 2013

You need to check with an attorney. In my state, biological parents are given the rights to the child, regardless of their relationship with the child. My DS's biodad was MIA from 2 weeks on and when I spoke to an attorney, he told me it would be a waste of money to draft a document naming who I wanted to raise him since the courts would ask the biodad first.

MinnesotaMomma91 · May 2013

Thanks. I fully intend to speak with a lawyer. I hope that if his biodad would take little man if he was asked bwcause something happened to me

irismorning · May 2013

I am an adoptive single mother by choice. My best friends (a married couple) are the guardians of my children if I pass. My brother is the contingent if something were to happen to all of us or my friends can not take them for some reason.

Nokkouttmomma · May 2013

I am in the process of creating a will. It won't be set in stone until the baby is here, but I have left my son to my parents should anything happen to me, I was encouraged by the attorney to go a step further and name second and third parties in case they were unable to care for my son. After my parents is my aunt and then after that its up to my aunt to decide if my son goes to his god parents or my aunts other daughter and husband. If something happens to her or she's unable to care for him and I'm still able to make changes on the will then ill go from there. If you have any chance of an inheritance I'm an only child so this is a really big deal for me personally make sure you leave it to someone OTHER than your son so that his bio dad cannot get to it. Make sure whoever you leave everything to knows that when your son turns whatever age you're comfortable with for me it's 32 or after he GRADUATES college and the person holding the money believes he's in a stable place and won't abuse the money. Check with your local laws first though, if your sons dad makes no effort within a certain amount of time you may be able to file abandonment an have his rights completely terminated as hopefully in my case. Good luck!

clairedavid12 · May 2013

Just so you know... I'm not sure what state you live in. BUT I was going to do the same thing, I live in TN. And my attorney told me it doesn't matter what I put in a will, that bc I don't have "full custody" that if something happened to me my son would go to his BD no matter what I want. (I'm furious this is the way it is. BD hasn't even bothered to see my son or pay child support in over 4 years). Hope it's different in your state!!

Unknown · May 2013

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