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December 2013 Moms
bribre1122
member
My BF's Mom...
bribre1122
member
Is so beyond annoying these days I can't handle it anymore! She is a very outspoken women and everyone knows that, including me, but lately she is just rude. For example, I work 3 jobs and have a 4.5 year old, so I am always tired but being pregnant adds a whole new level of exhaustion. She constantly is making comments about how i need to stop being lazy and take better care of our house, stop using pregnancy as an excuse because after all I'm "barely" pregnant.
I dont ever say anything back to her because it wouldnt stop her and my BF tells her to knock it off and sticks up for me but she says "I'm your mom I'll say what I want."
I can only imagine the way she will be when the LO is here. So frustrating, any advice on how to get her to just stop?
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Re: My BF's Mom...
"Oh, so you're offering to come over and clean my house? Thanks, I really appreciate it!" And when she says no. "So you're going to help me pay for a cleaning service?"
I wouldn't ever invite her over to my house again.
ETA- I read BF as best friend instead boyfriend the first time. I guess you can't just not invite her over ever again. I would definitely start saying sh!t back to her until she stops. Or next time she says something ask her to watch the kids so you can clean. If she is going to complain about it, she should do something help you fix it.
I wish I could keep her out, but she lives in the same apartment complex as us. She calls EVERY NIGHT asking what I have made for dinner and if theres enough for her. If by chance we ordered take out her response is, "Well thanks for asking me if I wanted anything, and you really need to be more responsible and save for the baby cuz you guys are poor..."
She has no idea what are expenses are like, so her comments like that put me on the defense and if I have an attitude with her than she jumps down my throat about that. There is truly no winning with her!
I did talk to my BF about the boundaries when the LO is here and he agrees, no unplanned visits, no unwanted parenting advice, ect. He said right now shes just talking,but if she continues to be this disrespectful and cross boundaries when the baby is here he will be more aggressive.
I have limited my time around her significantly but tomorrow's mother day and friday is her bday so im sure I'll be around her then
Ummm - maybe I'm missing something, but how did you end up living in the same apartment complex? Sounds to me like the easiest solution would be to move! I know that might be not-so-easy based on finances, etc. But setting some physical distance might be best.
Also - if she calls every night about dinner, etc - how about you just don't answer the phone? You / BF could always say....we've made a new rule - no phone calls between the hours of X-Y because we are having family dinner time.
We moved into the same apartment complex, because she had given notice to move out and it was the best priced, what we needed,ect and also in the right school district for my DS, then not so suprisingly, so renewed her lease there!
Yeah I like that idea about not answering the call, last couple nights I just have said we already ate and she didnt question it. Thank goodness!
Thanks for the advice ladies!
I agree with all the PPs that boundaries need to start being set NOW, & it sounds like you're starting that slowly but surely. Her level of interference/over-involvement is off the charts...I would def start on the boundary with the dinner time calls first. And I wouldn't just continue to avoid it by saying you already ate, I think you need to actually talk to her & explain that you don't want her calling every night because you want your own family time. Set that boundary with her, then if she continues to violate it by calling every night, stop answering the call, she will get the message. If ANYONE called me every night, even my own mom or a best friend & asked to have dinner with me I would be seriously frustrated. Sorry you're having to deal with that...I think the sooner you set boundaries with her the easier you will be making life for yourself.
And don't be afraid to set the boundaries on your own, just make sure your BF will back you up, but don't wait for him to set all the boundaries - your BF's mom needs to see that YOU are strong on your own as well. Also I would be addressing the inappropriate comments she makes when she is over, not just ignoring them. I would flat out say something like "wow, that's rude". Speak your mind a little more, if you stand up for yourself more she will have more respect for you, even if it makes her angry at first.
Good luck