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December 2013 Moms
sbs85
member
SIL has meltdown over my pregnancy news
sbs85
member
Yes, seriously. Long story short: She cried in front of a big room of people after finding out because she was supposed to get pregnant first! Not me! It was bad. Was there supposed to be a race or something?? She also probably feels like an idiot after telling other family and friends that I could never get pregnant due to me taking medications that make me sterile?!? Very creative but not true. I was very blessed to get pregnant naturally. Those are some pretty big rumors to start (nothing new for her though). Why speculate about such a serious subject when there is no basis for it? Just wish she would live her life and stay out of mine. Luckily everyone else has been ecstatic for DH and me. Should I call her and find out what her problem is or just let it go? (We live in different states and don't see each other very often). Has anyone else received any crazy reactions like this when telling others your pregnancy news?
BFP: 3/26/13, EDD: 12/05/13, 6/27/13: It's a BOY!
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Re: SIL has meltdown over my pregnancy news
My Ovulation Chart
Is she going through fertility issues? That would explain it. I'm not saying it excuses her behavior but it would explain it. I went through 2 years of fertility treatments when my sister got pregnant when they were literally thinking about trying. While I did my 3rd year of failed treatments she was happily pregnant and it drove me insane. I was happy for her but infertility can make you feel like a crazy person. Her complete lack of sympathy made it 10x harder.
ETA: Either way, I would let it go. As a PP said if you confront her she is just going to make it into a big thing.
Natural m/c: 10/17/11
Me (Katie)
DX:PCOS
DH (Adam
Married 10/11/12
TTC #1 since 3/12
I would just chalk it up to jealousy and her own emotional issues and let it go. I'm not down with the rumors and gossip part.
But I will tell you -- last year one of my besties announced that she and hubby were pregnant -- with twins no less. Out of nowhere, I got all emotional and teary! Had to excuse myself to the bathroom to cry it out. They have been married only 2 years.....us 10. They hadn't even said anything about trying.....we were! Totally didn't expect the emotional reaction -- it just came out!
Point is -- who knows what's going on in her brain. Besides, if it remains an issue, let your DH deal with his sister!
I'm lucky that my SIL is 7 and a half months pregnant with her 2nd. We just told her about our pregnancy this week and I think she's more excited than we are! She wants to meet up with us tomorrow as she wants to be there when we tell DH's aunt and uncle. She's a great mum so she's going to be a great auntie!
Let it go and be the bigger person.
We announced at Christmas that I was pregnant and my SIL literally walked out of the room crying for 20 minutes. I lost the baby a few weeks later and then SHE announced SHE was pregnant.
Pregnancy makes people crazy. We've since come to peace terms with each other, but it was really difficult. She's family now, though, and since I want my brother in my life, she's a part of mine.
BFP#3: 2/9/13 EDD 10/18/17. Team Green for Round 2!
From my understanding, they have not even been trying because BIL has not been ready for kids and she's been pushing him for awhile due to baby fever. According to DH, BIL may be caving into her since she reacted so crazy to our news. Considering SIL told her own sister that had a miscarriage that it was her fault, I don't even feel remotely bad for her being upset.
wow that sounds crazy! honestly, she made herself look pretty stupid on her own, I don't really know what else you would even say to her. I prob wouldn't say anything, I'm positive she'll realize how ridiculous she looked. And at least you don't have to see her a lot since you live in different states!
This.
You don't know the private details of her life. Maybe something more serious is going on, and that's why she acted that way. Sometimes unexpected news is hard to deal with.
I'd play safe and just let go of the situation. She'll either come around or not, nothing you should stress over.
Great point! She's not really a part of my life so her opinion doesn't matter to me. DH has been suggesting that I to reach out her but I see no point. She's not going to be magically happy for us all of a sudden. And she's very good at being nice to your face and then turn around and say something nasty as soon as you're gone. When that time comes for her and my BIL, because I care about my BIL, I would be happy for them though. I just don't understand her need to be dramatic. There have been other incidences with her but this one took the cake.
Another vote.
Emma Kate - born 10.16.03 @ 29 weeks, weighed 1lb 13oz and 13.5" long.
TTC #3
This :}
Plus 1
This is a similar circumstance to infertility. She is grieving the loss of her dreams for a child. If BIL really is resolute that they not have kids (did they discuss prior to marriage?), I hope she insists he gets a vasectomy. He should not be able to leave her and then make babies with another woman as some do. She's giving up her chance for children by remaining with him. And biology holds female fertility to stricter time window.
So she's grieving in a really cr@ppy way for you though. She's way over the line. Since you're in different states, where you there when she did this? I'm not clear on that part.
But I wouldn't yell or be angry or anything like that but maybe if u had a heart to heart with her she would open up and u could get to the bottom of this issue and maybe things would be better but this is only my opinion hope it all works out for u it's sucks when family acts like that it must have been awkward
Sorry, I didn't go into all that because I was trying to keep my original post as short and sweet as possible. Since it's DH's family, he told them by phone. He called each sibling and let them pass on the news to their spouses. I was out of town when DH called but knew that he was going to. Apparently, BIL decided not to tell his crazy wife right away (he must have known this would happen). They do want kids. She wants them now. He wants to wait. I don't know all the specifics there and it's not really my business. BIL sounded really excited for us but told DH that our news is putting him in a jam, lol. So I think he has added pressure now?
So SIL is finally told when all of DH's siblings are hanging out along with a bunch of other friends. Not sure why it happened like that since I wasn't there. But that's when she melted down in front of quite a few people. DH and I were informed by others (including DH's other siblings) who were in attendance and all gave us the same version of events. They all said it was awkward and embarrassing.
In terms of fertility, I don't know if there are any issues there. I don't pry. But SIL's own sister had a baby last month and was thrilled the whole time her sister was pregnant and when she gave birth and made sure it was well known. She apparently just doesn't like the fact that I'm pregnant, for some reason.