Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Any 40 and up moms? Are you being induced?
I don't think it's common but I have heard of it. Someone on Pregnant After 35 mentioned it, I just can't remember who. Maybe ask over there.
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I was 40. My OB was aware of that practice but felt strongly against it. She worked with a high percentage of over-35 mothers and said that they didn't have any more issues as a group than any other age. And as a result, she didn't do anything specifically age-related. If you developed issues as an individual, fine, treat that real issue. But no inventing things.
There is a lot of literature on the downsides to elective inductions, and this would qualify. Some people do choose to have them, but your age alone doesn't require it.
I'd be giving that OB a bit of a side-eye for inducing merely because of age. Is there time for you to shop around and find one who specializes in AMA cases? They might handle things different. I too would try to avoid inducement unless it's medically necessary.
I was 42 when I had C and specifically found an OB who was used to handling AMA and problem/difficult pregnancies. She said I was a whole lot easier than a lot of her patients, especially since I didn't wig out over every little thing!
GL
I was 41 when I delivered and while none of the OBs at my practice said I "had to" be induced, they each recommended it to some degree (at my practice, you rotate through all the OBs in your last weeks so the first time they see you isn't in the delivery room). They do see a fair number of AMA women and feel that there is validity to the rapid placenta degradation past 40 weeks in women over 40.
That being said, I was scheduled to be induced at 39 weeks 5 days and went into labor naturally 3 hours before I was due at the hospital.
And I'm a spaz because I just remembered that it was actually recommended for ME at 38. I just tend to forget about it because one doc said she'd want to induce and the other docs blew her off because u/s's said DS was in good shape.
I need more sleep
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I would have been induced if I didn't have this tendency to go into labor all on my own two to three weeks early.
There is a greater risk of placenta issues with women over 40 going past their due dates so that is why this issue comes up. As someone who lost a baby due to placenta issues, albeit much, much earlier in pregnancy, it just makes me super paranoid and I would have choosen an induction for myself.
Kelly, Mom to Christopher Shannon 9.27.06, Catherine Quinn 2.24.09, Trey Barton lost on 12.28.09, Therese Barton lost on 6.10.10, Joseph Sullivan 7.23.11, and our latest, Victoria Maren 11.15.12
Secondary infertility success with IVF, then two losses, one at 14 weeks and one at 10 weeks, then success with IUI and then just pure, crazy luck. Expecting our fifth in May as the result of a FET.
This Cluttered Life
With my first pregnancy I was induced at 41 weeks and 1 day (based EDD). The baby's APGAR was 9 and 9. But even with that I wished I waited till labor to start on its own.
With my last pregnancy I went to 43 week. During the time between 40 to my son's birth I was watched carefully. Labor did start on its own. I am glad I waited.
I am currently 35 years old.
Birth is safe as life gets - Harriette Hartigan
I went to a midwife practice, so they only induce if there's a medical reason to do so. I know a couple of AMA moms whose docs were going to induce simply because they were over 35. I asked my midwife about it, and she said that some doctors think that as soon as you turn 35 your uterus is like a ticking time bomb
, so they induce as a matter of course.
I can understand people's concerns, but I wouldn't induce if being AMA was the only reason the OB wanted to do it.
Over-40 parents...what we lack in vigor, we make up for with cunning.
I gave birth to my son 1 month before I turned 38 and was nesrly 10 days late - natural birth; no induction. I will turn 40 a couple months before baby#2 is born and I will not agree to an induction unless something is seriously wrong.. as I don't want to increase the liklihood of being forced to have a c/s. My OBs have not mentioned induction as a necessity or even as an option. I don't think the OBs in my practice view being AMA alone as a need to induce. If I go too far past my due date then that is another story as they generally don't want anyone to go over 2 weeks past your due date regardless of age due to risks to the fetus....
Bronx Zoo: Summer 2013
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I was 40 when I delivered LO and she showed no signs of coming out on her own so I was induced at 12 days past her due date. OB had suggested it a week earlier and I asked to wait, and she was OK with this because everything looked fine. I was induced and then proceded to have a drug-free delivery, as I had hoped.
HOWEVER -
Although I had a very healthy and relatively easy pregnancy, when LO was born the umbilical cord separated from the placenta and the placenta had to be taken manually - awesome - (and I totally accepted the drugs before they did that, since LO was already out). The placenta did show some signs of deterioration AND we had to return to the hospital on day three because she was crashing nutritionally (even though we were nursing and pumping colostrum consistently). Very scary. She was also on the smaller side for size, particularly given her late arrival, at 6 lbs 6 oz. I have some guilt and regret about not inducing closer to her due date because I think she was struggling in there those last few weeks, despite a gazillion ultrasounds and exams showing nothing.
Just my two cents.
I've gone to her for years and trust her implicitly. Shes not a doc who intervenes when it's not necessary.