Newborn Sleep

mrshall10210 · May 2013

My girl sleeps great through the day. She will, with only the occasional exception, eat, have her diaper changed, sit with mommy for 5-10 minutes, then sleep until the next feeding (we feed every 3 hours). At night, it's another story. As soon as the sun starts going down, she starts getting restless and it only gets worse through the night. DH does night shifts with her (we feel like we have to do this since we can't reliably get her to sleep for a solid half an hour through the night). He says she will eat, might lay down for 15 minutes but won't sleep, and fusses continuously unless he holds her all night and puts the paci in when she wants it, bounces her, etc.

I'm tired of my mom's advice: "She has her days and nights mixed up!" Ugh. She's 5 days old. She doesn't know the difference.

How long did your less-than-a-week-old newborn sleep at a time? SHOULD I be trying to keep her awake more through the day? My FTM instinct tells me definitely not. I really don't think she has gas issues or anything like that. I could almost believe she is hungry, as we're feeding breast milk with pumped milk only and I'm having some supply issues, but wouldn't she be hungry through the day also? She gets 1 ounce at each feeding.

Opinions?

Linzr0723 · May 2013

I hate to say it too but I think her days and nights are mixed up...she may not know what day and night is but she spent 40 weeks or however long in the dark so that is what's normal to her. Make sure during the day there's noises and lights and at night darkness and quiet. Just my thoughts I could be wrong of course!

mrshall10210 · May 2013

Our house is so dark and quiet 24/7. No other kids, DH and I are taking turns so we barely talk. I can try this though! It's just that my mom seems to think I need to pester her and keep her awake all day, and I don't think that'll help things.

rjeller32 · May 2013

I actually agree with your mom, newborns really do have day and night mixed up. During the day, during pregnancy, you are active, so you walking around and whatnot is like a swaying motion that helps them sleep. During the evening or night, you are usually settled into one spot, so they enjoy wiggling around.

But, newborns sleep up to 18 hours a day, so let her run her course, trying to keep her awake will result in an overtired baby, which is WAY harder to put to sleep. Help her to figure out days and nights by keeping the house lively and bright during the day, and very dim and quiet at night.

I let both of my LOs run their course, they would sleep for 3 hours at a time, and maybe stay up for 30 minutes to eat, get a diaper change and look at the world. It wasn't until after a month that DD2 started getting more into a routine and staying up for a max of an hour.

Let her sleep. But she might be hungry too, 1ozisn't a lot. 2-3 is more realistic. You should be feeding about 2 oz for every pound your LO weighs in a day, divided into 8-10 feedings.

And consider letting her sleep in an RnP, a swing, or cosleep. Find where she likes to sleep, because sometimes they have a hard time with all the free space around them in a crib. And swaddling helps too if you aren't.

That's all the advice I have, but seriously, your mom is right.

Linzr0723 · May 2013

Ya I wouldn't try and intentionally keep her awake but just do normal things during the day like run a vacuum or have the tv on or music etc. that may help?

InkedMegs · May 2013

Unfortunately, it is just NB sleep. We were quite miserable for the first two weeks because of the night sleeping. I cried a lot. I got frustrated. DH and I had to switch off during just ONE attempt at getting her to sleep because she just wouldn't sleep and would cry sporadically.

This won't help much now, but it will get better. She will familiarize with her new surroundings and have sleep cycles that are more "normal." At 8 weeks, we are finally getting her to STTN for the majority of the nights and it's been much happier around here this week.

Good luck. Just know it improves!

jreavey · May 2013

I had this going for the first few days. My ped said the same thing about days and nights. She suggested waking LO to eat during the day, every 2 or so hours. Also, keep LO in a bright, noisy room during the day. We bring the bassinet to the living room during the day and have the tv on. If he gets tired, he naps, despite the noise. Then at night, dark room, ambient noise, feed on demand, don't wake LO to eat, don't talk to or sing to LO at night. Make it boring at night. Hope that helps.

ShadyKull · May 2013

You shouldn't keep her up on purpose during the day, but don't go out of your way to keep things dark and quiet. Try to expose her to daylight during day hours (without putting her in direct sun of course). Night is when you want to keep things dark without sudden noises, and playing white noise helps a lot (we use our noisy humidifier). The first few weeks are rough, just keep doing the best you can to soothe her to sleep at night in a dark place without talking and eye-contact. Hang in there!

mrshall10210 · May 2013

jreavey:
I had this going for the first few days. My ped said the same thing about days and nights. She suggested waking LO to eat during the day, every 2 or so hours. Also, keep LO in a bright, noisy room during the day. We bring the bassinet to the living room during the day and have the tv on. If he gets tired, he naps, despite the noise. Then at night, dark room, ambient noise, feed on demand, don't wake LO to eat, don't talk to or sing to LO at night. Make it boring at night. Hope that helps.

I will definitely start trying this. Our house, like I said, is quiet ALL the time. DH and I are quiet people when we're home. We have blackout curtains in the living room. He works night shifts, so I'm used to tiptoeing around the house during the day and doing chores at night (although that's definitely not happening now!!).

She has her first pediatrician appointment tomorrow and we have errands that have to be done, so we'll be taking her out and about for the first time. Hopefully this will help start that routine, and from now on I will make it a point to at least keep the lights and TV on through the day. Glad to know it's ok to not wake her to feed her, too. I'm working on getting my supply up so I can feed her more at one time. I know 1 ounce is not a lot.

Thanks for the advice!

=Lee=B · May 2013

mrshall10210:
jreavey:
I had this going for the first few days. My ped said the same thing about days and nights. She suggested waking LO to eat during the day, every 2 or so hours. Also, keep LO in a bright, noisy room during the day. We bring the bassinet to the living room during the day and have the tv on. If he gets tired, he naps, despite the noise. Then at night, dark room, ambient noise, feed on demand, don't wake LO to eat, don't talk to or sing to LO at night. Make it boring at night. Hope that helps.
I will definitely start trying this. Our house, like I said, is quiet ALL the time. DH and I are quiet people when we're home. We have blackout curtains in the living room. He works night shifts, so I'm used to tiptoeing around the house during the day and doing chores at night (although that's definitely not happening now!!).
She has her first pediatrician appointment tomorrow and we have errands that have to be done, so we'll be taking her out and about for the first time. Hopefully this will help start that routine, and from now on I will make it a point to at least keep the lights and TV on through the day. Glad to know it's ok to not wake her to feed her, too. I'm working on getting my supply up so I can feed her more at one time. I know 1 ounce is not a lot.
Thanks for the advice!

At 5 days old 1 ounce seems pretty good to me. Mine would only take 1/2 an ounce for many days then slowly moved up. Just keep feeding her frequently and don't worry about measuring.

iumegan716 · May 2013

I would follow your LO's cues for now and not try to make any changes. Babies usually figure out the day/night thing by 6 weeks old.

KellyAnne82 · May 2013

mrshall10210:
Glad to know it's ok to not wake her to feed her, too. I'm working on getting my supply up so I can feed her more at one time. I know 1 ounce is not a lot.

It gets better. My LO had them confused too.

One ounce is great for 5 days out! I'll tell you what worked for me: lots of oatmeal, lactation cookies made with extra brewers yeast and mothers milk tea. I have more than I know what to do with at 6 weeks. I'm storing some, but may eventually end up donating. Good luck, I love her name!

RootBeer29 · May 2013

mrshall10210:
jreavey:
I had this going for the first few days. My ped said the same thing about days and nights. She suggested waking LO to eat during the day, every 2 or so hours. Also, keep LO in a bright, noisy room during the day. We bring the bassinet to the living room during the day and have the tv on. If he gets tired, he naps, despite the noise. Then at night, dark room, ambient noise, feed on demand, don't wake LO to eat, don't talk to or sing to LO at night. Make it boring at night. Hope that helps.
I will definitely start trying this. Our house, like I said, is quiet ALL the time. DH and I are quiet people when we're home. We have blackout curtains in the living room. He works night shifts, so I'm used to tiptoeing around the house during the day and doing chores at night (although that's definitely not happening now!!).
She has her first pediatrician appointment tomorrow and we have errands that have to be done, so we'll be taking her out and about for the first time. Hopefully this will help start that routine, and from now on I will make it a point to at least keep the lights and TV on through the day. Glad to know it's ok to not wake her to feed her, too. I'm working on getting my supply up so I can feed her more at one time. I know 1 ounce is not a lot.
Thanks for the advice!

If you're BF'ing, you should not let LO go more than 4 hours without eating. She's 5 days old, she needs to eat at night. It's not really recommended to not wake a BF baby to eat until they regain their birthweight around 10-14 days.

bekahr84 · May 2013

I am so glad I found this post! It is 2:45 am and I have been up since 9:00am yesterday. And after 4 nights of this I am super exhausted. Just hearing that someone else is up with me makes me feel better. Misery love company you know. I am going to try and implement some of the things I read like keeping her in the family room during the day. I've also been thinking of getting a noise machine since that is the only way we ever got my DS to stay asleep at all. In fact, she is sleeping soundly now with her music on! But good luck and know you are not alone. And like the others say (although it is difficult to believe right now) it will get better. That is my mantra all night long. "Someday we'll sleep. It may not be soon but someday we'll sleep."

pinottoparenthood · May 2013

Linzr0723:
I hate to say it too but I think her days and nights are mixed up...she may not know what day and night is but she spent 40 weeks or however long in the dark so that is what's normal to her. Make sure during the day there's noises and lights and at night darkness and quiet. Just my thoughts I could be wrong of course!

i agree. In the daytime, our house is bright and sunny and DH and I talk and go about our day at a normal volume. Like we will literally do things like vacuum and make smoothies in the blender. At nighttime, it is quiet and dark. Also, getting baby outside during the day on a regular basis can help. At nighttime, are you swaddling and using white noise? Also, where is LO sleeping? Our baby hated the bassinet but sleeps well in his crib. Some people swear by the rock and play although we haven't needed it. It's worth it to try some different options. But don't keep things dark and creep around baby in the daytime!beleieve me, if baby is tired, she will sleep through the noise.

pinottoparenthood · May 2013

mrshall10210:
jreavey:
I had this going for the first few days. My ped said the same thing about days and nights. She suggested waking LO to eat during the day, every 2 or so hours. Also, keep LO in a bright, noisy room during the day. We bring the bassinet to the living room during the day and have the tv on. If he gets tired, he naps, despite the noise. Then at night, dark room, ambient noise, feed on demand, don't wake LO to eat, don't talk to or sing to LO at night. Make it boring at night. Hope that helps.
I will definitely start trying this. Our house, like I said, is quiet ALL the time. DH and I are quiet people when we're home. We have blackout curtains in the living room. He works night shifts, so I'm used to tiptoeing around the house during the day and doing chores at night (although that's definitely not happening now!!).
She has her first pediatrician appointment tomorrow and we have errands that have to be done, so we'll be taking her out and about for the first time. Hopefully this will help start that routine, and from now on I will make it a point to at least keep the lights and TV on through the day. Glad to know it's ok to not wake her to feed her, too. I'm working on getting my supply up so I can feed her more at one time. I know 1 ounce is not a lot.
Thanks for the advice!

fyi, our pedi said it was okay to stop waking him for nighttime feelings once he was back above his birth weight, not before.

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