next friday would be his second birthday

blessedhope · May 2013

Next Friday will be the second year since my son was born and died due to his cord being pinched during a shoulder dystocia delivery. I am struggling alot and the grief is so hard.

Everyone told me that when my rainbow baby came she would heal my heart, my heart is still just as broken. I did not expect her to heal me anyways, that is too much to ask of a child. She brings purpose and a new joy to my life but my heart will always be broken for her brother and will break again and again for him each time she smiles, each milestone she makes, I miss him and again my heart is broken.

In a way having a rainbow baby makes the grief fresher. Before I had her, I could only imagine the depth of everything I loss of my son but now I know, and oh it hurts!

For now our plans are to go visit the cemetery and make a small donation to a charity in his name. It will be so painful to bring this LO to the cemetery and hold her over her brothers resting place.

thankyou for reading. I needed someone to understand. Last year people could understand why I was sad on mothers day but this year I will be expected to be happy when the grief is just as strong. I do celebrate this new life in my arms but it is painful to not have acknowldeged that she is my second not my first.

Shaungela · May 2013

Mom2anAngel2 · May 2013

BIG HUGS. It doesn't matter how many children you have, or how many years pass, it will always be sad. He is your son and you will always miss him. I miss my son everyday and often find myself thinking what he would be like if he were here. MORE HUGS!!!

Atleighdan · May 2013

I am so sorry. Big hugs to you during the next week.

jertie · May 2013

Mom2anAngel2:
BIG HUGS. It doesn't matter how many children you have, or how many years pass, it will always be sad. He is your son and you will always miss him. I miss my son everyday and often find myself thinking what he would be like if he were here. MORE HUGS!!!

I couldn't have said it more perfectly. I am so, so sorry. (((EVEN MORE HUGS)))

KJsbabe · May 2013

((Big Hugs))

ChloBub · May 2013

Big (((HUGS)))), BH. I've been thinking of you and all the other May 2012 moms so much lately. I'll continue to pray for you as sweet Titus' birthday approaches.

mork · May 2013

Big hugs.

Mmm79 · May 2013

Oh, hon. Big ((hugs)). As you said, rainbow babies are miracles, but they don't replace what we've lost. My youngest sister passed away twenty years ago at the age of 5...when someone asked my mom recently about the hardest thing in her life, she teared up and talked about my sister. You never forget, you never "get over" it, you just get through it.

More ((hugs)).

orangegoggles · May 2013

Oh hun, I'm so sorry. Sending lots of hugs your way.

Petunia844 · May 2013

I totally understand, I'm so sorry. We are just packing Mother's Day and I'm kind of glad we won't be going to see anyone or making a big deal about it, because you're right... it's just not the same without all of your babies.

blessedhope · May 2013

Mmm79:
Oh, hon. Big ((hugs)). As you said, rainbow babies are miracles, but they don't replace what we've lost. My youngest sister passed away twenty years ago at the age of 5...when someone asked my mom recently about the hardest thing in her life, she teared up and talked about my sister. You never forget, you never "get over" it, you just get through it.
More ((hugs)).

thankyou for sharing that. I'm so sorry about your sister

butterflynola · May 2013

"In a way having a rainbow baby makes the grief fresher. Before I had her, I could only imagine the depth of everything I loss of my son but now I know, and oh it hurts!"

I felt the same way after my DS was born and it was so hard and even harder to explain to anyone IRL. Huge (((Hugs)))!

FreyaWin2382 · May 2013

(((HUGS)))

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