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Natural Birth
iLoveblueberries
member
Struggling with going natural a second time
iLoveblueberries
member
To make a long story shortmy first sons birth was incredibly difficult. Despite being at the most pronatural birth all midwife practice in the state and a very natural birth friendly hospital...my labor did not go as expected. My membranes ruptured early in labor with no contractions, I was "post due" at 42 weeks and 3 days and schedules for induction when I finally had my water break the night before. I began running a fever early in labor, contractions finally began and despite laboring for nearly 30 hours naturally I made no progress. I only dilated 1cm and had no effacement...i was beyond exhausted and my fever was rising. In a last effort to avoid a csection my midwife suggested pit. However, after an hour of pit with still no progress she suggested an Epi.
The Epi was a miracle. In one hour I finally dilated to 10cm and was ready to push. The Epi was turned off and I pushed for four hours. Out came an OP baby with a stuck shoulder.
Due to my prolonged pushing I was incredibly sore and in a lot of physical pain. It was not the peaceful and beautiful water birth we had set out for. And truthfully,had I really been listening to my body, I would have known I needed intervention much earlier in my labor. I could just feel that something was not right and that my body was tired but I was insistent upon having that natural birth. However, I barely remember or enjoy the experience because it was so long and difficult. The last 8 hours are a blur because I was so tired and feverish.
Now I am pregnant with 2 and really struggling with whether I really want to attempt a natural birth again.
I want to have a calm and happy birth where I can enjoy my support people and enjoy the process my body is going through...
Even though I only had the Epi for a short time I was able to sleep for that one hour and my body was able to relax. I'm wondering if an Epi earlier in labor 6 or 7cm would allow me a more peaceful birth I can enjoy and remember....instead of something so exhausting. I guess my "natural birth" the first time around was not at all what I thought it could be.
Thoughts? Suggestions? Anyone go natural for number one and not for another?
The Epi was a miracle. In one hour I finally dilated to 10cm and was ready to push. The Epi was turned off and I pushed for four hours. Out came an OP baby with a stuck shoulder.
Due to my prolonged pushing I was incredibly sore and in a lot of physical pain. It was not the peaceful and beautiful water birth we had set out for. And truthfully,had I really been listening to my body, I would have known I needed intervention much earlier in my labor. I could just feel that something was not right and that my body was tired but I was insistent upon having that natural birth. However, I barely remember or enjoy the experience because it was so long and difficult. The last 8 hours are a blur because I was so tired and feverish.
Now I am pregnant with 2 and really struggling with whether I really want to attempt a natural birth again.
I want to have a calm and happy birth where I can enjoy my support people and enjoy the process my body is going through...
Even though I only had the Epi for a short time I was able to sleep for that one hour and my body was able to relax. I'm wondering if an Epi earlier in labor 6 or 7cm would allow me a more peaceful birth I can enjoy and remember....instead of something so exhausting. I guess my "natural birth" the first time around was not at all what I thought it could be.
Thoughts? Suggestions? Anyone go natural for number one and not for another?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Struggling with going natural a second time
I actually used hypnobabies with my first and greatly disliked it in actual labor. It was not the method for me.
I also saw the chiropractor throughout my entire pregnancy and despite the best efforts by everyone baby did not end up in an ideal birthing position.
I am not worried about another OP baby but rather that I will have another unenjoyable natural birth because it is so exhausting if that makes sense.
My first labor was similar to yours. Pushing was very long and drawn out, and looking back, I wish I had gotten an epidural so I could have rested more. But, it is what it is. My second labor was quicker and more efficient overall. hth and good luck!
DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)
DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)
My first birth had some similarities to yours. Water broke with no contractions, eventually agreed to cytotec nearly 72 hours later, baby was OP as well. Nearly 3 hours of pushing. It certainly was not the way I had envisioned things going.
My second birth was 3.5 hours start to finish. The contractions were completely different without cytotec, they were manageable, with breaks in between. My water did not break until the very end, I pushed maybe 5 or 6 times. It was amazing.
I offer this to you as a reminder that no two births are the same. In general, most people I talk to say their second births are easier. Try to remind yourself of the reasons you chose natural birth in the first place, and try to let go of the memories of your first birth that are keeping you in fear this time around.
Best of luck to you!
It sounds like the problems with your first labor and delivery were not your inability to do natural, but the baby's position being OP with a stuck shoulder. Hopefully the next one will be more favorable and the labor will be easier.
Says the FTM who still hasn't been there...
I think you should not make any decisions beforehand, when the day comes you have the experience to know what you want.
Usually second labors are quicker and pushing is easier. True for me, I pushed for an hour with DD, and pushed twice with DS!
My water broke at 37 weeks with my first - it took me over 40 hours to dilate to 8 cms...if I had been running a fever I am sure they wouldn't have let me go that long. In the end I was exhausted and barely pulled through with the natural birth I was so attached to. We actually planned to transport to hospital just when my labor finally got active. Not at all sure I would do it the same way knowing what I know now. (I have 2 acquaintences where similar situations ended with permanent birth injury to baby.)
This time around I am very clear with myself that a healthy baby is a bigger priority then a natural birth...I know we all believe that, but when I was younger (11 years ago) I was willing to challenge my provider's comfort zone and take more risk. I was *really* attached to a natural birth.
I think the fact that your first birth ended up medicated was out of your control. When the bag of waters breaks first and there is virtually no dilation/effacement we are setup for a somewhat lengthy labor...taking into account the fever and non-optimal position you had to deal with -- let's just say I am so glad you went for the Epi!
My advice, if you want to go natural, give it a go - no need to make a decision now - you know the circumstances are unpredictable and given your past experience let yourself feel liberated to take the meds if things aren't progessing smoothly. I feel way more open to using meds this time, even though i don't plan to...it just comes down to cost/benefit in the moment -- there are always going to be some scenarios where medical intervention could lead to better outcome -- stay flexible. You definitely still have the potential for a peaceful, natural birth if you want one -- but things can change and that's when your previous experience should guide you not to draw it out unnecessarily.
I had a similar birth with my first. Also did Hypnobabies and chiropractic with a Webster certified doc. My labor began with prom and ended with a 31 hour labor and a hospital transfer from the birth center. Baby was malpositioned after water broke and not descending. I also started running a fever and was exhausted. My midwife actually suggested the epi to help me rest and it was textbook. I could still feel contractions when it came time to push, but allowed my son and I to find our way to a vaginal delivery, albeit slowly. I am planning for a natural birth with number two, but my previous experience has taught me to let go and let birth unfold. If I find myself in a marathon labor again, I will consider an epi, but I have a doula and natural birth friendly OB to give myself a fighting chance at going without meds. Not sure if that's helpful, but you are not alone in your worries.
Wow, I could have wrote that reply above. For this pregnancy I with midwives again but a group that works within the hospital I was transferred to. I feel that a natural birth is ideal but if I have anything close to what I had last time I won't be opposed to pain relief...heck, it's what helped me avoid a csection the first go round which is ultimately what I wanted to avoid.
I just saw you here and had to pop in and say "HEY GIRL!!!!!" Of course, I'm going to push you to accomplish your dream of a natural birth this time around. Baby 1 was a stubborn monkey but I bet this one is excited to meet his big brothe
In all seriousness, you know that all labors are different. I would say, go in with the mindset of delivering naturally but maybe flow with the punches a little more this time around. You have a ton of knowledge and support. Love ya, blue!
DS #1 born 05/25/2012
BFP#2: 06/12/2013 ---- loss
DS #2 born 4/08/2014
BPF#4: 2/1/2016 --- 2/23/2016 suspected molar pregnancy--- 3/15/2016 D&E - diagnosis MM
BFP#5 - 9/22/2016
* formally bornmommy
This stood out the most to me. I did hypnobirthing classes and the whole "listening to your body" aspect was really emphasized along with accepting change if tgings don't go to plan. If you are already aware of what prevented you from going natural the first time sounds like you are in a good place to try for natural a second time. You already know the second time around to listen to your body and not beat yourself up if interventions are needed.
Just wanted to add my voice to the chorus. My labor and birth had many similarities to yours (very long, malpositioned baby, fever, etc). I greatly desired a natural birth but after many complications it became clear to me that I would either accept an epi or I would have a c-section. I took the epi and had a vaginal birth. It took a long time for me to make peace with that decision and I also worry a lot about a future labor and birth. I just try and remember that no two labors are the same.
I would say to give it a shot and be flexible. Listen to your body and don't get caught up in trying for the perfect birth.
My first labor had different difficulties but it was long, painful, incredibly exhausting, and not at all enjoyable. I made it to 10 cm without pain meds and then asked for something to take the edge off after 29 hours. My useless nurse gave me Nubain and it absolutely sucked. Two hours of drunken, puking, exhausted pushing later, my sunny side-up baby finally came out. The whole thing scarred me a bit and left me feeling nervous about this labor.
I have spoken with a lot of friends and consulted with several different doctors and midwives about this to get their opinions about what happened last time and what I should do this time.
All of them have told me that there is a very good chance that labor will go faster this time (it will probably be more intense, but it could go up to twice as fast) because baby #1 already cleared the way and stretched things out. They said if I was able to go naturally to 10cm last time, I will most definitely be able to get all of the way through this one.
The doctors and MWs whom I spoke with all recommended that, if I get an epi, to get it fairly early on (5-6cm). A couple of them recommended against any narcotics at all and a couple of them said that if I do get them, not to get them past 6 or 7 cm. The doctor I trust the most said that she has given birth both naturally and with an epi. She said that I should do an epi or nothing. She would not do narcotics at all. She said not to discount an epi because it can be a valuable tool in allowing your body to recharge, as you said, but that she thinks I'll be able to do it naturally if I want to because this labor should go a lot faster.
My plan is to shoot for all natural but take a moment to evaluate how I'm doing around 5-6 cm and make a decision about an epi then. If I decide against it, I'll go balls to the wall and just tough it out until the end. Everyone seems to think it is unlikely that this labor will be as hard or as long as the first one was.
What were your reasons for wanting to go natural the first time? Have any of those reasons changed? To go "natural" successfully, it starts with commitment which comes from knowing why you're doing it in the first place.
It sounds like your scared (understandably!). Each pregnancy, each labor, each birth is different. With my first, my water broke and I didn't get my first contraction for 1 1/2 days, the baby was OP (hence the painful back labor) and he was born 46 hours after the water broke and after 10 hours of active labor. The second was textbook perfect 9 hrs, and I was shocked when they said I could push (already??), the third was 3 hours start to finish, and intense, the fourth was premature, 5 hours and painful, and the fifth was 4 hours, perfect, beautiful, enjoyable, amazing, and I felt the baby moving down inside me.
Plan for what you want, and you'll work with it as it comes. I never did Hypnobirthing, but the Birthing From Within classes made a huge and wonderful difference for me, making #5 (and the last!!) the most wonderful birth I ever had.