Nervous and excited

JoDoc · May 2013

I'm new so will try to give some background. My DH and I have been married for 4 years. He has a son from a previous marriage who will be 15 in July, but has sole physical custody of him. He's been "MY" son since we got engaged, he chooses not to communicate with his birth mother as she is toxic in many ways. I love him like he's mine, so know right off, there are NO issues with him. I also rarely say "Step-Son". He's my son, plain and simple.

My DH and I had tried to get pregnant after we married, but were unsuccessful. We visited with a doctor because we suspected that DH had an issue with sperm count. It turns out my eggs were not viable. We found this out when I was 35. (I had had surgery when I was 21 due to an ovarian cyst, which caused them to remove my right ovary completely, but was never tested then.) We talked and after our options were laid out by the doctor, we decided to go with an egg donor. The egg would be fertilized by my husband of course. We were paired up with a woman that matched me in many ways as far as looks and background, matched my husband in the brains department (very smart). Well, we start the process, get the meds and shots and all that going, then they ask if my DH had a genetics test done. I said no, so we rushed to get it done. It turns out he's a carrier for Cystic Fibrosis. The doctor called to tell me (DH was out of town for 3 days) and suggested we consider a sperm donor, as due to his age there's an increased risk of autism and miscarriage. I called DH and as soon as I said "Autism" he said "let's do it. Let's find a donor" This was on Thursday. I had until Monday to give them an answer as to who I'm using. So, we spend all weekend looking at the sites, finally pick one we feel is a great match (medical background is amazing, has a lot of the same interests as DH, even has same features) and then are told on Monday that I need another test to see if we're compatible. After a lot of stress, I get the "ok" to give them an answer on Wednesday, that's the soonest we'd have an answer on my bloodwork. We finally got the go ahead and went with that man. I have to tell you, that's the strangest charge I've ever made on my credit card...2 vials of sperm!

We continued with the process. The sperm and egg were united on my big brothers birthday and implanted into me on Good Friday. There were 2 that looked "really good" according to the doctor. With 1 implanted, there's a 50/50 chance. With 2 there's a 73% chance, so we wanted the better odds and went with 2. I have been getting Progesterone shots every night in my backside with an 1 1/2" needle (thank you DH for doing that) and taking pills and vaginal suppositories. Last Sunday I woke up at 2am with the most excruciating stomach pain and violent vomiting I've ever experienced. I went in to the ER alone (we had to get our son to church to acolyte, I made DH stay home so he could be conscious enough to do so) and said I'd call if anything were really wrong. At the ER they gave me meds in case it was an ulcer, but I vomited those up as well. They decided to do bloodwork and saw my WBC was very high, 15,000 when normal is 5,000. They ordered an ultrasound of my liver, kidneys, spleen, etc. The technician asked if I'd had an ultrasound of my pregnancy yet, but I said No, it's scheduled for the 15th. I said I'm about 7 weeks along. She asked if I'd like her to check to see if everything there is ok...She did and together we saw 2 heartbeats!! We never did figure out exactly what caused the pain and vomiting, it all went away and I went home at 7:30am. My hubby was still sleeping but woke up when I came in to ask if I was ok. I just said "Yes, I'm ok, just tired now". He took our son to church and when they got home I woke up and showed him my discharge papers. I had to point to the line that said "Intrauterine pregnancy (Twins)" for him to catch it. He's ecstatic!!! Later we showed our son. He couldn't stop giggling. He's pretty excited for this, he's been wanting a sibling for a long time. Those 2 have been taking such great care of me, getting me things, watching over me, doing things for me. It's great, but I feel guilty. I've been a "do it myself" kind of person and to rely on others bugs me. I don't need to at this point, but they are offering and wanting to help, and it makes them happy to do so so I let them.

Well, there's my story so far. There's a lot more but this is the shorter version of it. Hope I didn't bore you and would welcome any advice. This is my first pregnancy. I did live next door to my sister when I was really young, she had children that I helped out with a lot, so I'm not going to be a stranger to caring for an infant. Nor twins, as she had twins as well.

Thanks!

laraashleyt · May 2013

Wow!!!! What a story for the baby books : So very happy for you and your family. Congrats and welcome to the world of multiples!!!

pea-kay · May 2013

aw, sweet! congrats and welcome!

reemap916 · May 2013

Welcome and congratulations!

JoDoc · May 2013

Thanks for the welcome! I've been nervous about telling people about the donor choice. Having a baby was something I always wanted, and when my mom was on her death bed (at the young age of 61) shortly before my DH and I married, she asked if we'd have a baby. I said we'd try, and if we have a girl would it be ok if we named her after my mom. It was the last time I saw my mom smile. I didn't get pregnant because my mom wanted me to, but it was one of the last things she asked about, knowing I wanted a baby. I feel like maybe she'll still be a part of their lives even though she's not here physically. She'd welcome them no matter what. She called my husbands son her grandson as soon as we were serious, so I know she's loving of all and welcoming. She'd have loved these babies no matter what. My husbands mother, however, would make a point to tell people that they "aren't really ours", so we are choosing to not tell his side of the family what we did to get pregnant. A select few in my family will know. We struggle with that, wondering "who will react negatively if they were to find out?" We won't keep it a secret from the babies, and our son knows. When the babies are old enough to understand, they'll be told. I have been keeping a journal, daily or weekly if nothing is going on, as well as the complete history on both donors. They will be able to see all we know about the donors, when they are old enough to understand.

As strange as this sounds, please pray for us, that those that are judgmental never find out or say anything. We may not have contributed genetically to the makeup of these babies, but I challenge anyone to say they aren't ours! (I'm a fierce protector of those I love)

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