Having a Rough Day

EIK2013 · May 2013

I have a close friend who lives in Florida and she is aware of our fertility struggles. When she was pregnant with her first baby I was one of the first people she informed. While on Facebook last night she posted a comment and a picture about how they are expecting 2.... Of course I'm so so happy for her and sad for me and DH at the same time, but the thing that made me the most upset is that she didn't call and tell me herself and I have a feeling that didnt happen bc she knows we are struggling. I don't think she did this to be hurtful, but it did hurt! BAD! I don't want my friends to treat me differently bc I am going through this! I want to be there for them still and I hate how I am treated differently in the baby area bc we don't have one yet and we are struggling!! It makes me feel even more ostracized!! Does this make sense or am I just being a jealous b!tch?

On another note, I made my first appointment with a therapist who specializes in dealing with IF....my emotions can go from zero to 100 quickly and there are times I feel so out of control and helpless and I have NEVER been this way....I guess it's time to reach out to a therapist for help...

Thanks for letting me vent ladies...just a tough day.

wearebirds · May 2013

I'm so sorry! I've told friends that I know are probably going to get KU soon that I really want to hear it from them when it happens. I don't want them to be afraid to tell me! It's so much worse finding out through other people or through Facebook.

I hope your day gets better!!

Cara1024 · May 2013

The exact same thing just happened to me. And yes I was a mixed bag of emotions because of it.

I feel very similar to what you described in the last part. Our RE's office offers counseling and I may be making an appointment in the not too distant future as well. Sorry you are having a rough day. ((hugs))

GermanGirl2007 · May 2013

I am so sorry. I had the same thing happen with someone that I consider to be a close friend, and it did sting quite a bit. You are not alone in feeling that way.

That said, I hope it does help to talk to someone. I am looking for someone to talk with myself, and hoping that getting it off my chest will help with the rollercoaster of emotions. I hope it helps for you as well. ((HUGS))

ena724 · May 2013

((hugs)) to you. You're in T&Ps. I'm glad you're able to talk to someone and hope this helps you in this tough journey.

monimu13 · May 2013

Although this hasnt happened to me....yet, I completely understand the feelings. Its OK to feel this way, but I think I would talk to the friend and let them know that you are happy for them, but would have appreciated not finding out on Facebook. I hope that talking with someone will be helpful for you

RunCC37 · May 2013

I'm so sorry

No, I don't think you are behaving jealously, and I think your reaction is perfectly natural. If anything, you would hope that your friends who know about your struggles would approach you first on the side before blindsiding you on Facebook. I'm glad you are reaching out to get help dealing with your emotions. It's a great idea. ((hugs))

mmhopeful · May 2013

I'm sorry. This happened to me, but with a friend having her 5th! Yup! No one told me at all and I had to hear from the mother of the friend, and not the friend. It's never easy and here I am heading to a babyshower on Saturday on Mother's Day weekend! OMG! I will need to get myself into a good place so I am ready....getting my hair done in the morning and wearing a new outfit for the afternoon shower. It matters to be supportive to others, but also protect our hearts along this delicate daily journey through IF. Not that I could control this today, but I saw 4 pregnant women at the grocery store today on top of life! Hang in there!

BlueEyedDreamer · May 2013

I'm sorry you're going through this. Maybe after you talk to the therapist, you can find a way to talk to your friend about it, too. This may have been her way of trying to give you the space and time to deal with the news without ambushing you in person or on the phone. But if that isn't what you want/need from her, then maybe a heart-to-heart will help. Hope you feel better soon. {{hugs}}

babydreams13 · May 2013

I so hate FB preg announcements from people I am good friends with. Last year my friend who was preg with #3 put it on FB. I felt like seriously you couldn't even send a text message. Last month our friends who are preg with # 4 posted it on FB. I was out taking the dog for a walk. When I walked in Dh said you might not want to go on FB. I was like why who is preg now? Meanwhile Dh is the godfather of one of their kids. If I ever get preg I will call or at the minimum text my friends. I feel like its the right thing to do. If I had a friend who was struggling with IF (all of my friends are very fertile) I would email them or text them so they could process the info. If its some random person from HS or someone I rarely talk to IRL then I really don;t care if I see a preg announcement on FB. Hang in there- some people just don't get it.

EIK2013 · May 2013

Thanks for all the support ladies, and I'm happy to hear that I'm not crazy for feeling the way I do. I seriously don't know what I would do without this board and you ladies, you all rock my socks off! Thanks again.

ttuprincess · May 2013

(((((HUGS))))

Sorry you are having a rough day. I hate FB announcements. I learned about the death of a relative from FB. FB can definintely take you offguard especially if the post is from someone you are friends with.

I think it is great you are thinking about seeing a therapist. This can be a rough battle. I saw a therapist in college after I had a long series of neurological symptoms they thought/think are multiple sclerosis. Medical issues, especially ones so personal like IF, can be hard to deal with. I think the therapy I had helped me tremendously.

Akiesha · May 2013

((hugs)) I don't think your being a jealous B. I would be hurt too. I am sorry you are having a tough day and hope talking to a professional helps. IF sucks bug time!

lorirachel · May 2013

I'm sorry you had to find out that way. Good for you for making an appointment, I hear it really helps!

scbedi · May 2013

I am so sorry you are having such a hard time!! I am glad you made an appt with the therapist. I think the feelings about your friend's pregnancy announcement makes sense. If my best friend was pregnant again (she knows about my struggles) I'd like to think that she would give me a heads up so that I wouldn't find out at the same time as everyone else, so I wouldn't be blindsided and have time to deal with it. I am so sorry you are going through this! ((HUGS!!))

brandykid · May 2013

EIK2013:
I have a close friend who lives in Florida and she is aware of our fertility struggles. When she was pregnant with her first baby I was one of the first people she informed. While on Facebook last night she posted a comment and a picture about how they are expecting 2.... Of course I'm so so happy for her and sad for me and DH at the same time, but the thing that made me the most upset is that she didn't call and tell me herself and I have a feeling that didnt happen bc she knows we are struggling. I don't think she did this to be hurtful, but it did hurt! BAD! I don't want my friends to treat me differently bc I am going through this! I want to be there for them still and I hate how I am treated differently in the baby area bc we don't have one yet and we are struggling!! It makes me feel even more ostracized!! Does this make sense or am I just being a jealous b!tch? On another note, I made my first appointment with a therapist who specializes in dealing with IF....my emotions can go from zero to 100 quickly and there are times I feel so out of control and helpless and I have NEVER been this way....I guess it's time to reach out to a therapist for help... Thanks for letting me vent ladies...just a tough day.

I am sorry you found out about your friend's pregnancy that way...seems like everyone has this obsession with sharing things on Facebook instead of telling people in person or over the phone. I don't think you're being jealous at all. I think what you're feeling is completely normal, I definitely know how you feel. (BIG HUGS) to you, and I hope tomorrow is a better day for you.

JennyS86 · May 2013

I'm sorry you found out about the pregnancy that way! I don't think you're crazy at all - I think FB is one of the worst ways to find out any big news - because you're finding out with "everyone else". you might even feel sad if a close friend announced her engagement on FB without calling/texting you first. bottom line - FB has no filter and can suck big time!

I got a slap in the face last week when a co-worker announced her pregnancy on FB with an u/s picture. I didn't even know she had a boyfriend!! just had to laugh at that one :0

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