leaving instructions for DH or SO

bluejetta · May 2013

Do you all leave instructions for DH/SO when they are spending time alone with LO?nbsp; I spend two days a week alone with N and in general and mostly do all the worrying about meals, snacks, naps, clothes etc.nbsp; DH is great with her and helps but I'd say most of the planning etc is mine.I have a work dinner tonight so am missing the 12th bedtime ever and have already sent DH three text message and a caveat that I know he's capapable etc just because I haven't missed one in so long.I'm also going away for 2 nights at the end of the month and starting to be anxious about that and feel I will leave some notes about meal timing/nap timing etc since he just doesn't think much about.nbsp; Mostly as N as many of yours I assume is such a creature of habit and does best when her nap/meals are at the same time every day roughly.So do you leave notes/info etc?

ETA: I don't leave instruction in writing I more meant info on things. I've never left notes and DH is part of meals and bedtime now but doesn't always know when she had a snack or such

Ms5586 · May 2013

Nope. He spends just as much time with him as I do, and knows what he needs.

The only thing I might tell him is what food options are in the fridge or freezer, because he can open it and be blind to what's there in front of him.

dominickana · May 2013

I used to at the beggining but not anymore. DH works from home now so he takes care of Gaby while I'm at work M-F 8-5. He usually calls me if he has any questions, at this point he has it all under "control" even though he doesn't follow the same routine I do, he'll do things his way regardless so I came to terms with that and try not to stress about it anymore.

CiCi44 · May 2013

I'll make suggestions for meal ideas and usually remind DH to brush DS' teeth -- but have learned to just let go of everything else.

I know that DS will probably end up napping on the couch with DH instead of in his bed, they'll probably get takeout instead of cooking, DS will go to bed later than normal and will probably have a ton of dirt under his fingernails.

It's not very often that I'm away -- so I think letting DS and DH have their "man time" is good. DH is usually pretty happy to get that one-on-one time.

memali26 · May 2013

When DD1 was our only, I left notes. I am a bit of a control freak, LOL.

Now 3 years and another kid later, I don't leave a note, but if I'm going to be gone more than 2 or 3 hours while they are awake I will give him a few quick verbal reminders. Stuff like, they'll want a snack around x time and their choices are y and z, DD2 has diaper rash so don't forget cream, etc. Mostly little things. DH actually does bedtime by himself several times a month, so that isn't an issue.

I'm actually fairly confident at this point DH could handle them both overnight without me. Things definitely wouldn't all get done my way, but they'd be clean and fed and happy.

MsCrispy · May 2013

Nope, we each have our own ways of doing things.

Right now, he actually watches her during the day (he's self employed), so we're kind of the opposite of a SAHM. I would actually get mad if DH wrote me a list of instructions when I had time with her. Some husbands may be more clueless, but I just wanted to show it from the other point of view.

SusieBW · May 2013

Like Ms said, I might mention what kinds of leftovers are in the fridge, for the same reason - he'll stand in front of the open fridge for 5 full minutes and still have no idea what's in there. But I mention that even if he's going to be home all alone and DD and I are both out.

Otherwise, nope. We do things slightly differently, and it all works, so I just let it be. Plus, he's alone with her a lot, and he does bedtime most of the time, since I do her dinner and bath.

GingerNess · May 2013

Yes I go over everything with DH each time I'm gone. Including what to feed, reminding when to feed, when to nap, reminding to apply sunscreen...things like that.

missbrightside10 · May 2013

No, my DH is perfectly capable of taking care of Max without my instruction.

bluejetta · May 2013

Well now I feel dumb. I don't do it for days but since going away for a weekend I was thinking about noting a few things but I guess there is no need. I should just ask him if he needs anything or info

Pips09 · May 2013

missbrightside10:
No, my DH is perfectly capable of taking care of Max without my instruction.

This. He may not do things exactly how I would, but they will be fine. I tried to tell him a few things the first couple of times, but he said "I got this" and shoo'd me away.

solsburyhill · May 2013

Nope.

I might let him know what Aug's already eaten for the day so he doesn't overdo the citrus or yogurt and wind up with diaper rash.

Aug is so much easier to care for these days. DH has it down pat, just as much as I do. When the baby gets here there will be a lot more communication to make sure we stick with a feeding and nap schedule but even then it'll be verbally giving a quick "she last ate at 11am and will probably nap in the next half hour or so" vs. writing him actual instructions.

alli&dan · May 2013

I don't usually leave written instructions. I still have a habit of laying out an outfit for her, because I like for her to look cute and to match. I might also suggest whatever leftovers we have in the fridge for lunch. He usually has her for an entire day by himself once or twice a week, so he's gotten used to the routine.

carolyn6609 · May 2013

DH has Wednesdays off and I work M-F, so ever since she was born he's had her by himself for one day each week. So he definitely can do his own thing with her. He very rarely puts her to bed without me (I'm thinking maybe 4 times?) but he almost always is part of her bedtime routine with me at night, so he knows what her routine is. The only time I instruct him is if he is taking her somewhere- like if they are going to my ILs or something, I might remind him to bring sunscreen or a bib or something like that. Like Alli, I try to lay out outfits if he will be dressing her because his taste in clothes leaves some to be desired sometimes! He takes slight offense to this.

manda26 · May 2013

If I did, it would be very minimal. We split bedtime here so he knows what to do for that. I would tell him food options because the man doesn't even know what to do for himself for food 90% of the time. And I would be anal about some stuff like telling him to use sunscreen if they go to the park or something, again - he doesn't think of this stuff even for himself ever

babybmom · May 2013

We work opposite shifts a lot so I might send him a "dinner's in the fridge" kind of text but most often, no I don't really need to leave him any info.

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