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Guilt

sn2bmamaofthreesn2bmamaofthree member
in C-sections
I don't know if this is normal but when I had DD I was miserable in hospital and felt like I needed to get home to my DS and I felt so guilty that he was asking for me and crying for me while in hospital. My mom brought him to see me a few times but it just broke my heart watching him leave and getting sad that I wasn't coming with him. This time around I know that my youngest DD will now have DS for comfort along with my DH. But they're very attached to me and I can't help but have anxiety about the hospital stay just remembering how hard it was on both myself and DS when DD was born.
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Re: Guilt

  • magdalina.hmagdalina.h member
    I know that it will be hard for me so we already have a plan in place to face time before bed. That way I still get to see his face to say goodnight.
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  • sn2bmamaofthreesn2bmamaofthree member
    Thank you so much for your reply ladies. It's a relief to hear my feelings are normal. I DEF think limiting visits in the hospital is probably a very good idea. It will obviously hard but I think that makes sense in the long run. It seemed to get us both worked up when it was time to say goodbye.
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  • MrsNyberg09MrsNyberg09 member
    I have been worried about this when I go in to have dd. Ds is attached to my hip and I fear it is going to be hard on the both of us when I am gone for several days.
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  • sn2bmamaofthreesn2bmamaofthree member
    imageTeacher Clark:
    I agree with limiting their trips to see you and also with planning fun things for them. DD1 has a fantastic relationship with her grandparents. They watched her the 4 days we were in the hospital. She was bummed that she couldn't stay longer. She thought she was going on an awesome vacation to gmas and gpas.
    I'm not sure who will be staying with them, but perhaps you could work on building up their relationship with those people and planning for them to do some cool things while they are there, park, zoo, etc. really build it up about how fun it's going to be and talk about it well in advance so they know its coming and are prepared for it.


    They'll most likely be with my mom for the first day and DH for the remainder. It's not their relationship with DH or my mom I'm worried about. They're just far too attached to me tbh
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  • sonshine0609sonshine0609
    I now feel so guilty. I hadn't even thought about this part of things yet. It hasn't been an issue before this birth. It has been good to read these ideas. Hopefully DS will be able to stay with my parents & brother. It's hard to say what my parents work schedule will be at the time but I really would hate to have to send him out of town to stay with my in-laws.
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  • gladesgrlgladesgrl member

    Leaving my son while I am in the hospital is the thing I am most worried about. I am not really thinking about the c section or worrying about having a newborn. I have been though those feelings and I did just fine! I am trying to decide if my husband should stay with me or be home with him and my mom stay with me. Who will he be with during the day, and how soon can I leave the hospital. I've never been away from my son over night and I am freaking out about it!

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  • sn2bmamaofthreesn2bmamaofthree member
    imagegladesgrl:
    Leaving my son while I am in the hospital is the thing I am most worried about. I am not really thinking about the c section or worrying about having a newborn. I have been though those feelings and I did just fine! I am trying to decide if my husband should stay with me or be home with him and my mom stay with me. Who will he be with during the day, and how soon can I leave the hospital. I've never been away from my son over night and I am freaking out about it!


    AWWW : I feel your pain. I'm the same with my daughter. Although she's been in daycare for 2 years almost, she still cries when I drop her off in the mornings. I'm debating the same thing. I think I'll just send them to my moms the first night and have DH home with them. After all DS and DD will both be in daycare/school during the day.

    Ugh so stressful
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  • mrsjones06mrsjones06 member

    I definitely think talking about it (when it gets a month or two out) a lot is a good idea. Prepare them for the fact that you'll be staying at the hospital with the baby for a few days but they'll get to come visit you & have so much fun with X.

    I was super worried about this when I had my 2nd. My son is a big momma's boy & I'd only spent one night away from him at that point. My mom & dad came to stay with him at our house & our A/C ended up going out the night before my C/S (over 100 degree temps in August) & they had to stay in a hotel for two nights before we got a new A/C installed. Even through all of that chaos DS1 did great. My mom brought him to the hospital daily for visits & it didn't seem to bother him at all when they left. Like someone else said he felt like he was on vacation getting to hang out with my parents & swim at the hotel pool.

    So they might surprise you & be ok but if they get upset leaving just have them visit that one time & talk to them on the phone or face time after that. It will be harder on you than them.

    Married: '06 - Mom of 3 boys: '08, '11 & '14

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