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MIL vent...

VitskyVitsky member
in Special Needs
We went to visit family last week...mil has Always overstepped her boundries...its usually me that she upsets more than hubby...well, he picked me up from my moms house and was upset..he says my mom really hurt my feelings...she had C sit onthe potty he is 4, autism, not potty trained yet, not because of lack of trying And he actually peed...she says to dh in spanish " if he was with me all the time, this child would fly" its a spanish expression meaning " if he was with me, he would thrive"....dh was shocked and just said "u need to think about things before you talk" ...FIL was in the room and was shaking his head at her..i am Livid...had i been there, i would have grabbed my son and walked out...i really want to tell her how hurtful that was but dh wants to let it go...she always says crap like that but this is by far the worst...she pretty much called us bad parents!!
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Re: MIL vent...

  • Micelle78Micelle78 member
    I am a lurker but wanted to tell you this breaks my heart!  I have a DS with MERLD and he would have been so upset, confused and had a meltdown if someone did this to him!  I know that my time will come that someone says something stupid about the fact he is still in diapers.  He turns three next month.  We haven't shared his dx with anyone but immediate family. You aren't bad parents and seriously there are people that will never understand his dx and that's ok.  You know what's best for him and you will raise him that way. ((HUGS))

     
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  • funchickenfunchicken member

    I'm so sorry.  That would have made me so mad.  My mom once commented that I was "so patient, and if DD had been her child she would have murdered her by now."  I was really hurt and angry at her comment, but she's worked really hard to understand DD better over the past two years, and they have a much better relationship now.

    Does your DH have the kind of relationship with her where he can tell her how hurtful her comment was?

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  • malcivarmalcivar member

    I think you need to let DH deal with her, but I would encourage DH to find a way to let her know how hurtful that comment was.  I know he said something already but he needs to expand on that statement.  My mom has said similar things - like "I'm going to help him", almost implying that somebody has to, KWIM?  Thankfully she caught herself and said we all had to work together and that she and my dad were going to do their best to help him along.  

    I think sometimes overbearing grandparents come from a place of denial and thinking that they can fix it - again more denial.  Maybe have DH explain that you're all a team with the end goal of helping C.  If she still doesn't change her ways then maybe it's time to limit visits.  Let's hope it doesn't come to that.

     {{hugs}} 

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  • Assembly_ReqdAssembly_Reqd member

    I would give yourself a vacation and ship DS off to her for a week.

    Seriously.

    She needs a Come to Jesus moment or two, or three.......

    WAY 2 Cool 4 School


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  • unm00redunm00red member
    imageAssembly_Reqd:

    I would give yourself a vacation and ship DS off to her for a week.

    Seriously.

    She needs a Come to Jesus moment or two, or three.......

    Yes 

     

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  • VitskyVitsky member
    She lives far and was watching C for us for a few hours while we went out so thats why he was with her...we did vacation last summer and she came here and watched him.. c ended up getting the flu and they didnt sleep all week...guess she forgot about it!

    Thanks for letting me vent! I knew you all would understand :
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