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When does "survival mode" end?

jglandon@hotmail.comjglandon@hotmail.com
in Multiples

At what point did you stop feeling like you were in survival mode, and start being able to relax and enjoy your babies?  At 14 weeks (9 adjusted) I still feel like we're in survival mode.  We rush through baths, feedings, bedtime, etc. just to get it done as quickly as possible without really taking the time to enjoy these moments, which is starting to make me feel sad :( 

It's just hard to feel like you can take the time to give a long relaxing bath when you know you have another baby waiting for his/her turn, you know?  We don't even have a set bedtime routine in place because it just feels too hard to stick to with two.  

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Re: When does "survival mode" end?

  • Temp123197812503460Temp123197812503460

    honestly, it didnt really END end until about a year/year and a half.  It got easier in some ways, but it still had that survival feeling.

    But little bits did change, a more regular bedtime routine around 6 or 8 months, etc.

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  • LewisTwinsLewisTwins member
    It's ok. Your babies are still really young, and don't even have a set routine of their own yet. For me, survival mode was 7 months or so. They ate REALLY frequently, and not together, so thing always felt really rushed. Once they settled into a more reasonable eating pattern, I felt I could breathe again. We still rush through some stuff, but that's just cause it all takes so much longer. But we're now enjoying our babies immensely have been for some time, and things are a lot easier. Just try to slow down a bit easier said than done and enjoy whatever part of it you can. Things will get better.
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  • mamatotwins0812mamatotwins0812 member
    The REAL tough part for me ended at 4 months. There are def some days that still feel like survival, but I really felt like I started really enjoying them and feeling like a human at 4 months. For what it's worth though, we still rush through bath time, it makes me sad but I haven't figured out an enjoyable way to get both done yet without melt downs. Hang in there though mama, I think you should start to feel better about things very soon. 
    Fraternal twin boys born at 33 weeks 4 days Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • KM2008KM2008
    I don't think that the survival period abruptly ended, more like tapered at different points. 4 months adjusted as a big one (when their sleep and eating just got better). Then 6 months adjusted (when they started sitting up). 9 months adjusted (when they were crawling and could entertain themselves a little). And now 12 months adjusted (when they were more responsive and had started to walk). It was around 6 months that I really started to enjoy them. Now I get such a kick out of them I never want to leave them. I totally feel human now and absolutely appreciate them. I totally understand your feelings, things sometimes still seem super rushed and I am always a logistics basket case. That may just be part of being a MoM of little ones. It will change, I promise.
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  • AmyJoy728AmyJoy728 member
    Things get easier at 3mo, then even easier at 6mo and then every month after that. It's hard missing all of those special moments in the beginning because of survival mode :(
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  • macchiattomacchiatto member
    For us, we were in super-survival mode for the first 4.5 months, especially the first 2 months. Then we were in semi-survival mode for about 1.5 more years after that.
    fraternal twin boys born january 2009
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  • Conky3000Conky3000 member

    I would say when your twins start sleeping throught he night. Ours still don't at 17 months and some days I still feel like I'm in survival mode. But it's a lot better than when they were newborns/infants.

     

    imagesomewhereincali:

    honestly, it didnt really END end until about a year/year and a half.  It got easier in some ways, but it still had that survival feeling.

    But little bits did change, a more regular bedtime routine around 6 or 8 months, etc.

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  • Conky3000Conky3000 member

    I would say when your twins start sleeping throught he night. Ours still don't at 17 months and some days I still feel like I'm in survival mode. But it's a lot better than when they were newborns/infants.

     

    imagesomewhereincali:

    honestly, it didnt really END end until about a year/year and a half.  It got easier in some ways, but it still had that survival feeling.

    But little bits did change, a more regular bedtime routine around 6 or 8 months, etc.

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  • meldoo2002meldoo2002 member
    I think it's hard to say.  When my kids STTN at 4 months it helped... but from 5:30am-8pm we were "on" and even after that because we had to make bottles, pack lunches, etc. to get ready for the next day.  4 years later I hate to say that I barely remember the early days now and alot of it is because we were in "survival mode."  Thankfully I have my blog to remember all the big moments.  I would say by a year we were really enjoying more and playing, hanging out, and really enjoying each other... still busy... and still is today, but it does get easier.  

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  • kiwi443kiwi443 member

    imagemacchiatto:For us, we were in super-survival mode for the first 4.5 months, especially the first 2 months. Then we were in semi-survival mode for about 1.5 more years after that.

    Same here. I feel like now, at 15 months, things are starting to get a little more challenging as we enter toddlerhood x 2.

    J - 9/6/09 L and A - 1/17/12
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  • dvladybugdvladybug member

    imageKM2008:
    I don't think that the survival period abruptly ended, more like tapered at different points. 4 months adjusted as a big one (when their sleep and eating just got better). Then 6 months adjusted (when they started sitting up). 9 months adjusted (when they were crawling and could entertain themselves a little). And now 12 months adjusted (when they were more responsive and had started to walk). It was around 6 months that I really started to enjoy them. Now I get such a kick out of them I never want to leave them. I totally feel human now and absolutely appreciate them. I totally understand your feelings, things sometimes still seem super rushed and I am always a logistics basket case. That may just be part of being a MoM of little ones. It will change, I promise.

    I agree with the above - well said.  It got a lot better when they STTN.  Hang in there, mama!

    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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  • tiffweddtiffwedd member
    We just hit 4 months and it seems so much easier even from a couple of weeks ago.  We ate having some sleep troubles here and there but overall they are much easier to handle... do I even dare say alone?  Lol!  Hang in there!
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  • Jen0204Jen0204 member
    I agree with the tapering comment.  Things got easier at 4 months when they were only waking up twice a night.  Then they got easier when they were only up once a night and then life got MUCH better when they started STTN (~9.5 months).  Now it's a little tougher because they're trying to transition down to one nap but otherwise it's not bad.
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  • Baby0322Baby0322 member
    The first 5 months for me was terrible but recently they started (knock on wood) sleeping through the night. They have a good routine and I started getting out ( a little bit) alone. I feel like things are finally a little normal. I have days where I pray for bedtime but It's better. I feel awful that DD watches too much tv still and I know what you're talking about with enjoying everything. I still feel that way sometimes.I wish I did more with DD but it's so hard some days. I sometimes even feel too tired to read her a bedtime story. :(
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  • raraavis28raraavis28 member

    4 months also seemed to be a turning point for me. Even though as soon as I start thinking "I have this DOWN!" they throw me another curveball (like how they sttn for a glorious 2 weeks and then started regressing....Sad), at least I have become so much more confident in my own mothering abilities and feel like I know my babies so much more as people that I don't feel the same kind of stress I did at the beginning, if that makes any sense.

    As far as relaxing baths etc. goes, let me know when you get the answer to that one! I read posts on my BMB about all these lovely bedtime routines, with baths, story, all this bonding, etc. etc.....mine is more like "Operation Bath, PJs, Bottle, DOWN with as little screaming as possible!"  One thing that has helped is that, while I bathe one baby, DH will rock or start feeding the other so that helps with the "as little screaming as possible" part, as well as giving individual attention to each LO. I still feel like bedtime is something that we are "getting through" more than enjoying necessarily, but I anticipate that this will change as LOs grow and develop a little more. Hang in there!!

     image
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