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Single Parents
LI444
member
My husband is gay and we're separating-after twelve years and two kids.
LI444
member
I posted this on the parenting board, too-
My husband of nearly seven years (we've been together since we were sixteen, and we're both twenty-eight now) and I have been in therapy as things have been getting bumpy and he finally stopped saying he's bisexual and has admitted to being gay. We're talking about separating. I'm a stay-at-home mom and he owns his own company. We have a nearly two year old and a three year old and I can't stop crying. We're still best friends but I have no idea how to talk to my kids about divorce or any of this. Any advice would be so welcome.
His parents are very religious and will likely disown him when they find out so since we can't afford it and he has no where to go, he's still living here until we can figure things out. He's my best friend and I love him so much that his relief when I told him I think he's gay and not bi is agony to me. I don't know how we're going to manage. Right now we can't even afford a lawyer. He's promised to keep supporting me and the kids until I can get on my own feet (I was planning to go to school to become a massage therapist this year). I would give anything for him to magically change his mind, but I know there's no way that can happen. Ugh. I don't know how to explain this to my babies-they're three and about to be two. I am so sad.
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Re: My husband is gay and we're separating-after twelve years and two kids.
Good luck
My son was 16 months when his dad and I separated and started sleeping in different bedrooms and 27 months when we moved to separate homes and we didn't explain much. Mostly that he would have two homes, one with momma and one with daddy and that we loved him. He had no concept of marriage so there was no reason to explain the divorce. Our parent roles in his life didn't change, he just doesn't get to see both of us at the same time very often. It's been 6 months and he does okay. We do everything we can to make it easy for him. I don't think he remembers a time when we were together anymore. He's pretty adaptable though so we were lucky in that.
No advice, especially since I'm a very new mom, but I am sooo sorry for what you're going through. I think some peeps on the parenting board suggested some pretty good resources, if I recall. Not that "having resources" somehow alleviates the pain
Again, I'm very sorry, and feel free to post more if it helps.
:::lurker::: No advice, but I just wanted to say I'm so sorry. I am in G Rap area, so I understand the "religious" aspect! If you ever need or want to talk, just PM me, I'm available if you want to have a play date or something...just to get out for a while...good luck to you!
ETA: I forgot there's a GR in Minnesota...if you're there, then I'm sorry, I'm in the one in MI! But I still wish you well, and the offer to PM still stands! :-)